Practical Airsoft Recommends:
28 Days Later (VHS/PAL UK Video)
28 Days Later (Soundtrack CD)
28 Days Later (Book)
Fuji Finepix A204 digital camera
Cobra Microtalk 110 PMR446 2-way radio
Some amusing quotes...
In this section, I'll post some of the more printable, and amusing, quotes heard (or uttered in anguish / anger / annoyance) by players...
Skirmish Chobham, 21/Feb/2001; Bridge Game, by yours truly: "Now what are friends for, I ask you?!"
Pinned behind a piece of blocking cover by a sniper, there was bugger all I could do, except lie flat on the (frozen) mud, getting wet and cold.
Rob radios me to ask me to suppress the sniper, but every time I even try to poke my head out to see where that damn sniper is, I get shot at, normally missing by millimetres, causing the not unreasonable DUCK reaction.
Since there's nothing I can really do, except try to get comfortable, so I get my smoking gear out, and start to roll a cigarette, telling him (in a mildly disgusted tone of voice, of course):
"Two, this is One. No bloody way in hell: There's naff all I can do about him here, so I'm gonna have a ****ing smoke break, and hope he gets bored with me, and goes someplace else. Out."
The reaction, from something like fifteen feet behind me?
A massive guffaw-like belly laugh.
So much for close support, LOL!
Really Freindly Fire...
From Steve Madden... No date or playing site mentioned (yet)...
Playing a standard slow sweep through very dense forest I came across a situation that would have been quite unpleasent.
Moved from a bush to a tree than tried to rush forward to the next tree, only to discover 2 guys with M16 A2's prone on the ground waiting for me! All I could do was stop looking down the barrels of certain pain from only five meters away (think of a bunny in your headlights!).
Ahhhhhhhggggggggggg!
From out of nowhere, though - Boom!
"****!" - "What the?!"
I opened my eyes, to find that some very kind soul had taken pity on me, and landed a grenade right between them!
To this day, no-one on my team has owned up to the helpful act - First time freindly fire has really been freindly I suppose!
:)
Impatience can really ruin your day...
From Luke ("Assman")... No date or playing site mentioned (yet)...
This happened at my first airsoft skirmish. I was an impatient newbie taken by the heat of battle. Both myself, and a friend were hidden in a foxhole waiting for our team to clear the nearest building full of enemies, and give us the signal to complete the objective of the game (capture the flag). We had been there for about fifteen minutes with biodegradable death flying overhead. After a while, it stops. I get impatient.
"Oh, sod this. I'm going in!"
I leave the trench.
Seconds later comes "ARGHHH! HIT! HIT! HIT!"
Needless to say we lost!
Kill the leader...!
From Luke ("Assman")... No date or playing site mentioned (yet)...
This happened during my last skirmish. The game scenario was for us to assassinate a terrorist leader <cough> Osama Bin Laden <cough> inside an embassy. Four of the team, including myself, had decided to go it alone, and do a sneak attack. This goes well, and we bag a couple of eliminations, and then split up. Two go one way, around the left hand side of the building, and the other two, including myself, took the right. We crouch behind an old car, and assess the situation. We are about to go through a small window when suddenly I see a body through another window. I call to my team mate, and get him to check it out.
Me: See that guy?
Darryll: Yeah.
Me: Is he on our team?
Darryll: Can't see his armband. It's too smoky.
Me: Me neither.
Darryll: He's turning round!
Me: Bugger this, I'm taking a shot.
I empty my AEG into the poor sod through the window. After the game, we all regroup. Neil, the team captain, then yells:
"Alright, which bastard shot me through the window?"
I wisely kept quiet!
Is he still there?
From John Wiltshire... Fireball Woodland site, Birmingham area, 2nd February 2002...
In one particular game we had to assult a series of bases, and the opposing team could also place 2 snipers anywhere in the field. The game begins, with the team splitting into a number of groups. Ours quickly encountered a sniper, and we all ducked back behind a big bush.
The leaders of our group start discussing whether or not the sniper has changed position, when up pipes my good friend Bob, who declares "I'll go and have a look!".
Bob disappears from our hiding place, followed by the sound of gunfire, and the not unexpected cry of "HIT!".
"Yeah, he's still there", says Bob ...on his way back to the Safe Zone!
IFF (Identification Freind or Foe)
From Michael Wong (aka Sabot)... "The Hill", Dundee. Date not specified.
An example of what can happen when there is a complete lack of communication...
It was my first ever real skirmish, our mission was to defend our possion from attack.
We were hiding behind a large bush waiting for the attack, when most of my team disappeared and I was left in command of the team medic and another guy.
About five minutes passed, and I was wondering where the others were. Suddenly I heard the sound of gunfire behind me. We kept still untill the shout of "MEDIC!" came through the trees. I ordered the medic round by the back fence, with the other guy as escort.
I then decided to try and circle around behind the attackers. Because I didn't know where the rest of my team was, this was largely guess work.
I came to a clearing, and saw someone running down the hill to where I thought my team was, so I opened fire. Through mostly luck, I hit him, only to find that the voice that called "HIT!" was that of my team leader!
I barely had time to figure out what had happened before I was nailed by another of my team (easy mistake considering!).
I discovered that they had replused the attack, with heavy casualties. We waited for the medic to arrive from the back fence, but he never showed. Guess he was 'dead' too!
Needless to say, we lost that one.
Let this be a lesson to those who are a bit "trigger happy" - always check who you're shooting at!
We're being flanked!
From Albert Lau (a.k.a. A2KL)... "Ambush Bramshill", Dundee. 23rd December 2001.
This was my first official skirmish and it was all good for the day.
In the defend the ammo dump game at Ambush Bramshill (23rd December 2001) I dug myself in nicely along with a few other guys, who I later found out way after the game were Team Ninja Monkey (Noodle, Dazza, and Wardie).
I heard gun fire from our sides, and behind where we were dug in, so I looked at them and said:
Me: We're being flanked!! We're getting flanked from behind!
Dazza, Noodle and Wardie just looked at me: Huh?!
Me: We're being taken from behind!
They look at me again...
Me: OK I'll just shut up...
Later on in that game Dazza tells me that there's a sniper behind a tree... knowing that at Bramshill there are PLENTY of trees 
So I ask which one, and stick my head out without really waiting for his answer...
Zoom!
A round flew past my head! Quickly I ducked back in, and uttered the imortal cliché:
Ohsh!t!! That tree..!
"Mother Nature: 50, Players: Nil"
From Barry Skeates... "Combat South", Hampshire, sometime in 2000...
We were sweeping a woodland area for the opposing team when a hail storm came down from the heavens... In an instant, something like 50% of players on both teams shouted "HIT!" and walked off to the safe area...
At the end of that game it appeared that both teams where over ¼ mile away from each other at the time of the hail storm, and didn't have a gnats chance of even seeing each other, let alone shooting each other!
Needless to say the game was a draw 
"DUCK!"
From Ian Harvey... "Firefight", Reading, the last game of 2001...
The last game of the day was a fairly simple 'Capture The Flag', played across a flat field.
Both teams could see each other, but started out well out of range of each other. The flag was obviously in the middle of the field, in a kind of natural sangar, and the first team there had to erect the metal flagpole into a traffic cone. At the end of the game, the team with most players left in the sangar would win. Easy - at least in principle...
Sprinting across the ground, I was first into the sangar, with my team giving damn good fire support. However, on lifting the flagpole, I discovered it was ever-so-slightly heavier than I had expected, with the end result of me dropping the whole thing backwards onto my fire support team!
Needless to say, they weren't too chuffed at this display of gross stupidity!
It would have been less embarrasing if I hadn't almost hit the head marshall, and almost knocked out our team captain!
Good thing it was the last game of the day...
Great minds think alike...!
From Luke ("Assman"), "Combat South", Hampshire, sometime in 2001...
Right, this happened to a friend of mine during on of his excursions to Combat South last year.
He was playing the "Defend The Radio Shack" game, and voluteered to be in the four man patrol that went to harass the enemy. They walked down the side of the hill, and came along a path. They then walked a bit further down, and came to a natural clearing. My friend then held up his hand and stopped the patrol and looked around.
"Hey guys, this looks like a perfect place to lay an ambush..."
Simultaneously, another guy in the patrol yelled "AGH! HIT-HIT-HIT!"
Within three seconds, the entire team was completely wiped out by an enemy patrol, that had twigged the self-same idea, not five minutes previously!
The bare-assed cheek of it...!
From Simon Pyper, "Scarborough Airsoft Club (Speedball Tourney)", Scarborough, 21st April (2002?)...
Not so much a quote a situation...
The match was Team Magnum Force (us) Vs The Mad Assassins.
Basically we were dug in, waiting for TMA to assault our bunker, which they invariably did. During the following 30 minute firefight, I was pinned down by our bunker, so decided that I would shout out the positions of opponents to my team mates. Anyway, on hearing that all of TMA were engaged, Dodger (Dave) decided to make his sneaky way down to TMA Bunker to capture their flag.
Halfway through crawling down the field he decided it was safe to make a mad dash. Up he jumped, and sprinted downhill towards the Bunker only to find that, half way down, his Gortex Trousers fell down about his ankles - Undeterred, he still managed to grab the flag, than leap of the edge of the eight-foot high hill that the bunker was built upon!
Needless to say the teams on the sidelines were somewhat surprised (to say the least!) to see a crazed airsofter running down a field, trousers around his ankles, grabbing a flag then leaping off a hill into oblivion 
Hope you like the story, and it's truly a shame that someone didn't capture it on film!
Stinger, TMF
Victory comes to the afflicted...
From James Elliott ("Walking_target") of WASPS Team, "Combat South", Hampshire, sometime in 2002...
After a ferocious first speedball game in the AM of a murky Sunday morning at Combat South, I find myself with Dawdler, my only other team mate left alive. "Operation Certain Death" - an insane charge lead by the WASPS and the newbie's left us alone and afraid. Dawdler and I come to the conclusion that there is bugger all left to do except have a go at the Flag, which is about 100m and 20 enemy players to our front. We suck it up:
Me: "Right, sod Dawdler, let's go get it"
Dawdler: "After you dear boy, lead the way" - in a high ranking Officer voice...
Me: "Hey hum"
I get up with my trusty (yet ancient) M4A1 and start to run forward at high speed. I catch my foot on a rather obvious sticking out log, and head towards the ground at a high rate of knots. Fortunately for me, my M4 breaks my fall: it digs vertically into the ground and my chin makes solid contact at terminal velocity with the butt-plate, knocking me cold.
I hit the ground bleeding slightly from a criss-cross pattern on my chin and out of it for about 5 or 10 seconds!
Dawdler: "S*** mate are you alright?!"
Me: "Oh fine, fine!"
I get up and we charge (well, actually stagger is a better description) forward, taking out 10 enemies on the way and gloriously take the flag!
Just to show that victory comes to the afflicted.....I've never lived that one down!
No plan EVER survives contact with the enemy...!
From Andy Smith ("TeFlon"), "The SWAT Big Game 2002", Halkyn, North Wales, June 2002...
Taking a large attack force from the EUSF, The Cambrians manage to eliminate most of the enemy force. The few remaining Cambrians (10-20) at the sat base were getting edgy as movement could be heard from inside the bushes.
After debating with a team mate he came up with a, simple but brilliant plan.
Team mate "Ok, I'm gonna run to that tree (pointing to a tree 10m away), when the fire comes through you step out and blast 'em."
Me "ok"
My team mate peeks his head round the metal sheet, no sign. He makes a run for it, makes it half way , I spin round the fire starts, I fire crazly into the bush as the fire hits my team mate, before he says hit falls over a tree stump and does a face plant into the mud. The second he was hit i was mowed down too, along with another 5 of my team, uncontrollably laughing.
Pyro and clothes don't mix...
From Bill, playing site and date unknown
THIS IS FUNNY BUT VERY SERIOUS:
Whilst lying dead in the safe zone, I became aware of a commotion, and saw a player running in circles apparently in a cloud of gas!
As there were some gas operated guns in use I assumed there had simply been a negligent discharge of propellant, no probs. However, this gas was long lasting?
However, it was actually a smoke grenade which had inexplicably ignited in a trouser pocket - not good.
It got worse, though, from his point of view, and comical from ours - the problem was that this poor hapless sod was wearing gore-tex over-trousers as well as a jacket - He had to frantically take off his jacket, then over-trousers (kept up by braces) before getting the trousers off. Luckily the grenade burnt outwards away from his thigh through the two pairs of trousers, and he was left with a large blue stain on his thigh from the smoke.
I didn't verify the existence of any brown stains (nor did I want to - Ewwww!) as I was too busy crying with laughter along with a number of others!
Seriously though... we poured water over his legs and he lived to fight on.
Moral of the story... Do not carry pyrotechnics in your pockets, as they should be kept in a pouch on your belt which can be unclipped and dropped in an instant, if an emergency arises!
This is particularly important as I kept getting the giggles for the rest of the day - which does not aid stealth! 
Got any more? Lemme have 'em!