Warning - this post contains Emo-esque ranting....
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I still can't quite get my head in gear about the fact that in five weeks I will be heading out to sunny greece for six months. It somehow does not seem real.
More than anything I'm kicking myself about the life of the pseudo-hermit I've lived for the past year. I'm having SO MUCH FUN with the new job and the recently enhanced social life that I'm almost wishing I wasn't going - when I applied for the Greece job I didn't really feel like I had much holding me in Glasgow except Jo and now I'm going to miss out on so much.
The worst part of it all is that the hermitage was entirely self imposed. I have a tendancy to be inherently paranoid and when everything went to pot with a close friendship I figured that the mutal friends were all taking their side of the argument - I've recently found out this wasn't the case and more than anything it's that that depresses me. I should have left this stupid "nobody likes you" mindset behind in high school along with the bullying wanks who caused it. Sadly, I STILL find myself doubting people's motives for wanting me around, even without any reason to believe they are anything other than genuinely pleased to see me.
It's almost a phobia, in a way, much like my fear of spiders. Intellectually I know that my friends are my friends because they want to be - mainly because none of them are the kind to suffer fools gladly and if they didn't want me around they'd have just told me to go forthe and multiply. However, I still go through horrible periods of self doubt with no basis except the voice in my head going "You're *beep*. You're fat and ugly and nobody likes you. As soon as you leave they're going to be laughing at you. You suck."
Anyway.....emo-style ranting aside, I guess I just wanted to get that out there and say thanks for putting up with me 
You'd all better be here when I get back, or I'll be REALLY annoyed. 
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