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Waltissimo!

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Mike_West

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Or, How To Be Trendy In The Milsim Crowd

 

As I mentioned a couple of times earlier, Western airsoft is mainly about being up to date and up to style while posing for photos on which you look like you're on an assignment, fighting terrorists from the sinister Qaboom at-Turban organization somewhere in southeastern Turbanistan. Of course, if you feel even more milsim , you're going to black your face out of the photo, because, well, that's what real operators do. Or you look like a dope, one or the other. But the photo is only the final effect of being up to style - it's preceded by long and expensive preparations.

 

First and most important matter is the gun. Chinese clones are right out - you need absolutely the best and most real replica, for instance - Systema PTW. Why, yes, I do know it ain't worth *suitcase*, has shot consistency close to null and is horridly overpriced, but you're not going to actually shoot this thing, right? Oh, wait, you do. So, you want a G&P replica - heavy, with real markings, metal body, and things, and stuff. And, regardless of the manufacturer, it needs a shitload of sticklebrick. RIS rails, that is. What you also need is a nightvision aiming device, like the one actually used by the military - I doubt you're ever going to use it, unless you're ready to get mud on your Weesatch and spend the Saturday night patrolling some God-forgotten woods instead of getting a good night's sleep or partying, but it's your two grand (I doubt you're gonna spend much less on that one). Also, a *fruitcage*-off huge tactical light, the more mil-spec, the better. And a laser. Yes, laser is essential, especially if the dumb law in your country doesn't treat it as a verboten item (figure out WHOSE dumb law I have in mind, you have three guesses). Of course you're not going to use it, but it's cool to freak people out with a green dot (because red ones are demode ), it also looks awesome on the photos in dusty places (sorry, you HAVE to get some dirt on your Weesatch to be trendy!). Vertical foregrip is also very important - no matter how you hold your weapon, it's ALWAYS better (read: more milsim ) with a vertical grip. Also, you need a three-point sling, milspec one if possible. Two-point ones just aren't milsim enough. If you decided on a sidearm (why, of course, go for Western Arms, the fact that they're expensive should only assure you that they're reliable! And don't forget a metal body kit for it!), you need a holster, too. Get a milspec one, don't settle for less. Yes, of course I know there are knockoffs, but forget them - you don't want your gun badly scratched or jammed in that knockoff, right?

 

Next up, is the gear. Don't accept any substitutes - go for well-known brand names that supply the military. Original Crye Multicam uniforms are undoubtedly the paramount of milsim fashion, followed by issue ACU. If you decided to go as a PMC, 5.11 clothes are A MUST. Of course, you need to watch out for counterfeit items available for a suspiciously low price from shady EBay sellers - better to pay more and get the absolutely best than pay less and have it split in half over your *albatross* during a photo op. Don't save on MOLLE vests either - why get a cheap, off-color knockoff sewn in some smelly garage in China, when you can get the real deal? They aren't illegal to own. They're just expensive, but remember - you pay for QUALITY! Also, communications gear - same rule applies here, don't buy knockoffs. They're cheap, and nasty, and definitely not milsim . And, also, cheap. If you know where to look, you can also get various little things real operators usually have on themselves - like, for example, plastic zip-cuffs. Of course you're not going to use them (or are you?), but they boost your cred. Considerably.

 

And finally, patches. It's a contested issue between two camps: the "Why, yes, of course, they're a part of MILITARY SIMULATION too!" camp, who are absolutely right, and "No way, kid, EARN those badges first!" crowd who are just jealous that you have all the fun while they have been kicked around by a psychopath in a Smokey Bear hat to get them. So, patches, to the max. You also need to know how to call them like the real operators would. The Special Forces emblem is an "Electric Butterknife". The 101st Airborne bird is a "Chokin' Chicken" or "Puking Buzzard". And the double "A" on 82nd Airborne stands for "Alcoholics Anonymous". Reading the list of real Army expressions should help you master the soldier-speak.

 

There. You know everything you need to be the quintessential milsimmer. Of course everyone will treat you like a pompous *albatross*, and rightly so, but you shouldn't care and walk tall. Hooah!

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