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amateurstuntman

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Everything posted by amateurstuntman

  1. amateurstuntman

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    S01 E25 - Conspiracy Picard gets invited to a secret meeting with an old mate, a chick who got to Captain faster that anyone in history and one of the post apocalyptic biker dudes from "Weird Science". They say there is some kind of *fruitcage*ery going on in Star Fleet, just like General Rogers from "Firefox" was going on about in "Coming of Age S01E19", remember, with the unctuous turd of an assistant? Picard gets Data to analyze some *suitcase* or other and Data finds out that Starfleet have been shuffling staff around. Then they find his mate's ship all blown up The crew goes to Earth to ask some questions, the 80 year old guy from E19 beats up Riker's Stunt Performer, chucks Geordi through a door and starts kicking Worf about until Beverly burns his *albatross* down with some phaser fire. Turns out he has some kind of alien crab dude in his neck. The top brass of starfleet all do. Some kind of conspiracy. The chick from the meeting is a bad guy. Picard and Riker go on a killing spree finishing up with the assistant guy who is the "mother" alien. When he dies they all shut down. Before they died though, they sent a beacon signal into space. S01 E26 - The Neutral Zone. The crew have to go to the neutral zone to find out what happened to their outposts. Their outposts are *fruitcage*ed. Probably the Romulans. It wasn't the Romulans, their outposts are *fruitcage*ed too. They agree to pool assets to find out what happened. The end. The secondary plot to this episode is that the crew also find some old cryogenically frozen dead humans from 300 years ago (now). They thaw them out, heal them up and then laugh at how backward humans used to be. Well, that's the end of the first season. It was a pretty good start. We spent some time meeting the crew and they are settling into the roles we remember. No Guinan yet and Riker doesn't have his beard but we're getting there.
  2. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Find and kill the UX people.
  3. amateurstuntman

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    I can do you a 2.5" 1tb laptop drive if you want?
  4. amateurstuntman

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    If you have any kind of old laptop HDD around the house you can save a few quid and get one of these: https://www.amazon.co.uk/USB-SATA-Adapter-Cable-Drives-en-GB-SATA-USB-3-0-converter/dp/B01N2JIQR7/ There is a USB-C version that could plug directly into the Pixel but I don't know if the OTG chip in the phone has the guts to power an HDD. It has more of a chance to power an SSD but it is less likely that you will have one of those around the house. https://www.amazon.co.uk/USB-SATA-Hard-Drive-Adapter/dp/B078P9YNFQ/ I always have one handy. *edit* An external HDD or SSD is just one of those in a fancy box. Compare the price of a plain disk plus the cable vs the price of an external box and see how much you are being ripped off....
  5. amateurstuntman

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    Yeah, actually, most of the episodes that focus on a specific crew member are bad. Except Data, Picard, Riker and Lieutenant Reginald Endicott "Reg" Barclay III. The Crushers are particularly annoying with precocious being worse than hot. Right then. S01 E23 - Skin of Evil This episode gave me thoughts. I thought: "That is nice prop work with the oil slick baddy.", "Have they literally drawn that shadow onto the film?" and "What kind of irresponsible race of space twats removes all of the evil from their minds and turns it into a powerful oil slick before just yeeting themselves into space, leaving it there without even so much as a warning sign? What if someone steps in it?" Anyway, someone stepped in it. Troi and a dude crash their shuttle on a planet, the oil slick takes them hostage, an away team beams down and Tasha Yar gets killed. Picard then makes the oil slick so angry it forgets about its hostages and everyone beams back to the Enterprise. Then Tasha has a funeral. Odd, really. In the original series about 60 people get killed and Tasha is like - the fourth? - member of the crew to die in just this season. Not a single one of those other scrubs got a funeral. For some reason Wesley was at Tasha's funeral. At least she died with her boots on. S01 E24 - We'll Always Have Paris The episode opens with a two stuntmen "fencing" then cuts to a close shot and Picard is one of the swordsmen. We learn that Picard can fence but that Sir Patrick Stewart cannot. There is a time glitch and a distress call from someone and the crew set off to assist. The victim is called Mannheim and that triggers a strong reaction from Picard. He asks how long before they get to the planet then goes to clean his sword and have a shower. He then asks for and ETA again and we learn our second thing of the episode. It takes Picard nearly 2 hours to have a shower. What the hell? Mannheim is sick, his wife is fit (80s fit) and is wearing a jump suit thing that has no sides. She clearly has no bra on and a solid gust of wind would allow us to see her boobs. Sadly there is no breeze. She is also Picard's ex. He stood her up and legged it into space because he was frightened of commitment. Crusher is a bit jealous. Turns out that Mannheim has ripped a hole in the universe and is currently in two different dimensions. Data fixes the hole. Everyone goes to the pub.
  6. amateurstuntman

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    I'm back into my usual routine and back watching TNG. So. S01 E18 - Home Soil The Enterprise drops in to check on a behind schedule terraforming endeavor. It is being run by General Gogol from James Bond. No wonder. So, it turns out there is a new form of life that the survey team missed and the crew sort things out. However, the thing that bothered me about this is that the Enterprise, which has a detachable saucer section and an arboretum, has a science lab that cannot be jettisoned. Seriously. This episode would have been pretty straight forward if the crew could have just pressed a button and launched the science lab into space. S01 E19 - Coming of Age Crappy Wesley episode. An obnoxious nob comes aboard to do an audit. After the audit, an Admiral tells Picard there is some kind of rot happening in Star Fleet. Picard is offered a job at the Academy to help investigate the shenanigans? I don't know. He doesn't take the job. Wesley does his Star Fleet Academy test. It involves a fake explosion and actors. He appears shocked by this. There is literally no way they did it just for him and if it is standard practice then everyone would be expecting it. He doesn't get the place. S01E20 - Heart of Glory Worf episode. Three Klingons come aboard. One is sick, he dies. Worf Waaaghs like an Ork. There is a lot of filler with the Klingons telling Worf he isn't Klingoning right. Then it turns out that they are fugitives since the Klingons have decided to join the Federation and they want to keep up the "old traditions". More filler. Worf kills them and Waaaghs again. S01 E21 - The Arsenal of Freedom The Enterprise responds to a distress signal at a derelict planet, once famous for weapon design. Call it Space Belgium. In violation of dozens of Star Fleet regulations Picard, Riker, Crusher (hot), Data and Yar end up on the planet at the same time, leaving Geordi in charge. Both the Enterprise in orbit and the personnel on the planet are attacked by advanced weapons. Meanwhile some belter from engineering decides to try and take command form Geordi. Geordi does not throw him out of the airlock. Instead he puts him in charge of the saucer section and splits the Enterprise. Turns out the two ships that sent distress signals, the entire population of the planet and nearly the Enterprise have been killed by a weapon system stuck on "shop demonstration mode". Picard disables that by agreeing to buy some weapons then gives Geordi *suitcase* for only having half of the ship left. S01 E22 - Symbiosis The Enterprise responds to a distress beacon and rescues some people. 2 from a rich planet full of happy pharmacists and 2 from a miserable planet full of plague victims. The plague victims make all the products the pharmacists need and the pharmacists produce nothing except the drug the plague victims need. Except the drugs are just narcotics and the plague's symptoms are just withdrawal symptoms. The Prime Directive prevents Picard from intervening but he also doesn't repair the junkies' cargo ships which will eventually cut the supply and free them from the drug use. It's an okay-ish episode. Not enough Riker.
  7. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    They're not available on the facelift Citigo. They were on the MK 1 but nobody bought them so Skoda cut the option and saved some money at the factory.
  8. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Not the ones I get. Full poverty spec Skoda Citigo, with the exception of Air Con the only tech and luxury features on it are the ones mandated by regulations. Features include: ABS Tyre pressure monitoring Intertia reel seat belts Air Conditioning er...
  9. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    I like my lease car. The only slight worry is the environmental implications of having a new car every 3 years. But then my second car is 45 years old this year. And I can't have kids. So who cares.
  10. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Bleh. This planet would be pretty sweet if it wasn't for all these people.
  11. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    I'll have to have a look in the attic. I have a vague memory of there being a G36 up there. I also have a vague memory of getting rid of it. I'll have a look.
  12. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    No problem. Stops it going in the bin.
  13. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Yes. I will get the thing in the next couple of days, give it a service and send it. Easier and cheaper than posting a G36 back and fourth.
  14. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    I just bought an AKS74u. I'm going to put my Polarstar box in it, do you want me to give the old one a once over and stick a G36 nozzle in it? I could chuck it in the post for you?
  15. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    My ex used to drink water while she was driving. From a 2l bottle. There wasn't room to tip it back so she used to duck her head into the passenger seat to drink. I put a stop to that.
  16. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Did the same exercise. Had DS stand on me. When he got off, I crawled away. Made it to the red light. Most of the guys who got caught were moving too fast or making noise. I've done big miles on bicycles and I've been knocked off numerous times. Often by vehicles turning into the road I am on or by going through me to turn left off the road I am on. I have, however, been legit hit from behind by a guy following me. Insane. I had an artic overtake me and the cut back in before it was past me possibly due to oncoming traffic (I didn't see) but its back wheels clipped my bike, pushed me against the kerb and launched me over a wall into the garden of a house by the road. My yogurt burst in my backpack. People look but they don't see. Maybe they are scadding, maybe they are distracted (pop master, phone, hot coffee on the balls) who knows? What I do know is that from a matched set of black clothing on a black bike up to a high vis jacket my riding buddies call "miraculous" paired with a rear light they call obnoxious and offensively bright, a light they won't let me use on group rides. Nothing has made a difference. I keep having to be the one doing the work to stay alive while they zoom around in their unnecessarily big, leather upholstered metal boxes.
  17. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Oof. Motorcyclists. 4% of traffic 22% of road deaths. Keep your eyes peeled out there...
  18. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Why is it always some twonk crashing into their own trailer/caravan? Because they sit stationary 362 days a year, don't have an MOT and old people didn't have to have a test to pull one. Off they pop on two flat tyres with no working suspension and one brake. Blam.
  19. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    1. The pesticide was old and quite dangerous. I had to be out of the house for 2 days, 2. I was 19. 3. I lived in Glasgow. In 1996 in Glasgow it was possible to drink 23 hours a day. You could get a kebab between 5am and 6am and get right back on it.
  20. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    You only live once. A cheap sofa bed is a cheap sofa bed. I just sprayed the place with pesticide and went out on the lash for 2 days.
  21. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    I got fleas from a sofa bed I bought from a farmer. It had been in a barn for [many] years.
  22. amateurstuntman

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    I have no sympathy for the shops. They are shops, their job is being a shop. You have one job. Do your job. I paid £2000 for a groupset on a bike website that said "in stock". It wasn't in stock. It wasn't even available from the supplier. It wasn't even being manufactured yet. It had been announced by the manufacturer and listed by the shop. They did it speculatively to trap people, offering them pre-orders when they "ran out of stock". It stayed on their website as "in stock" for the 18 months it took to be available from the supplier. It took me over a month to get my money back, in the end I only managed because of the distance selling regulations and the fact that I used a credit card. The Shop is "Pro Bike Kit" if anyone is wondering. Pure fraud. I also bought a bike frame from FLI industries that was advertised as "in stock, 48 hour delivery" that had to be hand made in Austria and took 4 months to arrive.
  23. amateurstuntman

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    I agree but it will be Stunt's Britain, not Stunt's world (right away) so I guess we'd have to be on the same as the rest of the world for convenience.
  24. amateurstuntman

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    No religious holidays. We go from 8 to 12 bank holidays. One a month. No more BST either. If you want xmas or whatever off, use annual leave.
  25. amateurstuntman

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    AAaaaaaaaaaand I'm back. *fruitcage* xmas *fruitcage* New Year And - (new one this year) *fruitcage* my parents who became old people in the 2 years since I have seen them. It's back to normal jogging and I am happy.
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