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Ed Smasher

Bad pick up lines

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Well, ever see that cute blonde at the bar and want to chat her up, but freeze and your mind goes blank?

Well try some of these!

 

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

 

That dress looks nice....Of course, it'd look even better crumpled up in the corner of my room.

 

Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I keep seeing myself in your pants.

 

Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

 

Miss, if you've lost your virginity, could I have the box it came in?

 

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

 

I've got a .357 pointed at your kidney, wanna go get some coffee?

 

Hi, I'm conducting a feel test to see how many women here have pierced nipples....

 

You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.

 

Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!

 

You know, I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it appears someone has already beat me to it.

 

You know, you've got the prettiest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming across

 

 

That's enough for now, I'll put some more up here later. :P

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-"So, you're a girl huh?"

-"Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?"

-"My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place."

-"Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?"

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-"So, you're a girl huh?"

-"Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?"

-"My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place."

-"Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?"

 

Nice :P

 

Heres 5 more ^^

 

Just because our computers are incompatible doesn't mean we are!

 

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade!

 

Hey baby, what's your sign? All you can eat?

 

Go up to a girl and tell her she has nice legs....then ask would she mind if you named them. She says ok, and you say ok this one is Thanksgiving and that one is Christmas.....would you mind if I visited between the holidays?

 

Hey baby, you wanna fu*k or should I apologise?

 

~~

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My favourite is:

 

Hi there, I realise that you don't know me and I don't know you, but could you help me move something?

 

Sure, what?

 

Six fluid onces of semen.

 

*SLAP!*

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"your dad must have been a thief, cos he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes"

 

:tomato:

 

 

Hmm, I liked your joke Crandall :P

 

So you couldn't keep away and want more eh?

 

Hehe alright..

 

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"

 

As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.

 

There are 256 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more?

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Lol, the "dad's a theif" one... One of my friends tried that:

 

Him: Hi, is your Dad a thief?

Her: WHAT THE F**K DID YOU SAY??!?!

Him: Cos he put -

Her: HOW DARE YOU F**KING TALK ABOUT MY FATHER THAT WAY!!!!

Him: But-

Her: F**K OFF!!!

 

He was in tears :D

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Lol, the "dad's a theif" one... One of my friends tried that:

 

Him: Hi, is your Dad a thief?

Her: WHAT THE F**K DID YOU SAY??!?!

Him: Cos he put -

Her: HOW DARE YOU F**KING TALK ABOUT MY FATHER THAT WAY!!!!

Him: But-

Her: F**K OFF!!!

 

He was in tears :D

 

 

Lmao! You DO know that, like power rangers, you shouldn't try these at home, right?

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Worst chat up line I ever used has to be "I'm no Fred Flintstone and I'm no Barney Rubble but I'll sure as hell make your Bedrock" absolutely awful and has never worked.

 

 

Hehe, anybody else actually try these out for sheer shock value?

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"hey, word of the days is legs, wanna come round mine and spread the word?"

 

Ok here's one for the continentals-

 

"Hi there, have you got some Italian in you?"

"err no"

"Would you like some?"

 

:D

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"I don't know how to say this, but you are the hottest women I ever saw"

 

"Thanks"

 

" Do you want to hop in the bed with me ?"

 

This is why women hate me :)

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" Hello I'm Sledge"

 

*Womens smacks sledge and calls her husband*

 

*Big body builder comes along*

 

" You dissin me wife ? "

 

* Punches Sledge*

 

5 years later

 

*Sledge is in prison playing blues on a mouth organ*

 

tn_blues.jpg

....

 

And remeber kids, never say Sledge again ;)

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:huh:

" Hello I'm Sledge"

 

*Womens smacks sledge and calls her husband*

 

*Big body builder comes along*

 

" You dissin me wife ? "

 

* Punches Sledge*

 

5 years later

 

*Sledge is in prison playing blues on a mouth organ*

 

tn_blues.jpg

....

 

And remeber kids, never say Sledge again ;)

 

 

Bahahaha!

 

But seriously :huh:

 

Saying you're me would get you killed in 9 countries :(

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