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Q: What do you do?


DesertFoxRomel

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A random question my friend asked me, and my response:

 

 

 

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------

From: Alyssa

Date: Jan 31, 2009 6:05 PM

 

 

whenever a girl passes by in the mall what do you do?

 

whenever a buy passes by in the mall what do you do?

 

hahaha

 

and

 

If you're thinking about that, then what are you?

 

XD

 

Well ... whats you're answer.

 

My Response:

 

 

If a girl passes by me at the mall:

 

Standard Operating Procedure if I am single: Check her out, like every other healthy young adult male.

Edit: also be sure the the said female is indeed female before any further "checking out"

 

Standard Operating Procedure if I am in a relationship: Whip out a picture of my girl and compare. Just kidding, don't stare, don't check her out, don't picture her naked, hold the door open for her if applicable.

 

Standard Operating procedure if the girl IS my girl: Stare, check her out, picture her naked, hold, greet, dip, and kiss her Gone With the Wind style, and carry her out the door whispering the "fun" things I want to do with her in her ear.

 

 

If I pass a guy at the mall:

 

Standard Operating Procedure if the Guy is a stranger:

If I make contact, say "How do you do sir?", depending on age or situation. Stay on guard at all times, look where his hands are, and watch out if he is holding anything anything dangerous or if he is acting suspiciously. Look out for concealed handguns, knives, grenades, and suicide bombs. If he responds "Imma gonna kill you *badgeress*!", take appropriate measures to defend oneself and use appropriate force to do so.

 

If I don't make contact, just keep walking and think nothing of it.

 

Standard Operating Procedure if the Guy is my friend:

 

Pass him, pretend you don't see him, then when he passes, sneak up behind him, put him in head lock, and shout "Where's my money?!", "Payback Time!" "This is Sparta!" or something along those lines. Prepare for battle, or what is known as "Mortal Kombat" between you and your guy friends.

 

Standard Operating Procedure if the Guy has a girl and I am single: Check out his girl. Be jealous of him, or not depending if his girl is my type. Think of ways to win the girl over. This will take your mind off of how lonely you are.

 

Standard Operating Procedure if the Guy has a Girl and I am in a relationship: Take a glance at the girl and notice your girl is better looking, has a cuter personality, and is many times better than that street hooker that guy has. Your girl is so much more loyal and devoted to you than anyone else, and is more loyal to you than the girl is to him.

 

Standard Operating Procedure if the Guy has a girl and it is your girlfriend: Look at the girl. Confirm that she is your girlfriend, from a photograph if possible. Consider where she said she would be when you last called her. Take a good look at giveaways, such as birth marks, dimples, cup size, etc. If confirmed that she is indeed your girl, discretely tail her.

 

Observe. Do you know the guy? Is he an ex, a relative, or a possible replacement? Take note of what has been said, who touches what, and how they kiss each other. Once confirmed that she is cheating discretely take pictures of their actions, print 10x8 glossy laminated pictures of your girlfriend caught red handed being unloyal, cheating, and a ######. Then break into her room, place it on her desk the pictures, and a break up letter on how disappointed you are in her. Leave no trace of you being there or forced entry other than the letter and pictures. Move on.

 

Standard Operating Procedure if the Guy has a girl and you are cynical from a break up: Pretend not to notice. If you can't help but to notice, because you are being conscious of trying not to notice, tell yourself that you don't need a girl, you don't want the drama, you don't want to get married. Picture yourself going through life without another girlfriend, because you have realized you don't need one. Think of all the things you can do without a girlfriend or wife, all the cars/guns/hookers you can buy without one. When they pass, try not to notice that they are in love. If you notice anyway, take a swig off your whiskey flask and spit on the floor. It eases the pain loneliness.

 

Get home, watch late night television for glimpses of the next Girls Gone Wild DVD and that 1-800-HOTTIE number that you were trying to remember earlier.

 

If I cannot immediately determine the sex the person I pass by at the mall: Do not check it out. Do not picture it naked. Do not do anything that is remotely sexual, a come on, or any advance. Do not hit on it, do not look too hard or long at it. It is better to play it safe than sorry.

 

I hope that answers your question, Alyssa ;D

 

So, same question, what do you do when a girl passes you at the mall?

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Think to myself, "what the hell am I doing in a Mall, I've got to get the hell out of here"

Then I walk quickly to the nearest exit looking neither left or right before the Mall Rat Zombies infect me with their vacuous throwaway culture fashion idiocy.

 

I avoid idiots wherever possible and since Malls are mecca to oxygen thieves they are Kryptonite to me.

 

I'd rather sit in the car waiting for my wife than go into a Mall.

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^ Basically the same for me. Unfortunately there are some things you can't get any place else around here.

 

Unless she's a certain exception I generally walk past people (male or female) the same: swiftly, with my hands in my pockets, my head low but eyes even, and an angry look on my face.

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Depends:

 

If she has the three things i go for then i give a friendly passing glance or reply back if she winks/waves/giggles to self.

 

If she isn't my type then i just look on and carry on walking.

 

Oh and the three things are:

 

1. Dark, long hair, either dark brunette or black for me.

2. Medium Height, i like a woman who is around my weight, i don't want back or neck ache from talking or kissing her (and other things)

3. Good sense of dress, none of these hot pants and low cut tops that women seem to wear sometimes.

 

All three of those then i say yes, but i am not as picky as most guys i know, i prefer a healthy mix of looks and personality, not just 'she's fit' or something like that.

 

'FireKnife'

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^ Basically the same for me. Unfortunately there are some things you can't get any place else around here.

 

Unless she's a certain exception I generally walk past people (male or female) the same: swiftly, with my hands in my pockets, my head low but eyes even, and an angry look on my face.

and a single tear... ;_______;

 

Why do I get the impression that the OP is one of those guys that hangs around at malls looking at girls?

Who even goes to the mall anymore?

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What do I do when I pass a girl in a mall?

 

Well I'd encourage her complete cooperation,

Send her roses when I think she needs to smile.

I can't control myself because I don't know how,

And she loves me for it honestly, she'll be here for a while.

 

So give her blood, blood, gallons of the stuff!

Give her all that she can drink and it will never be enough.

So give her blood, blood, blood.

Give her a glass because there's going to be a flood!

 

A celebrated man amongst the gurneys.

She can fix me proper with a bit of luck.

The doctors and the nurses they adore me so,

But it's really quite alarming cause I'm such an awful f**k! (Oh thank you!)

 

I gave her blood, blood, gallons of the stuff,

I gave her all that she can drink and it has never been enough.

I gave her blood, blood, blood,

I'm the kind of human wreckage that she loves!

 

*Cackles insanely as he eats his own face*

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- If you are found in a Mall you are probably going for some cheap gear in a certain store related to airsoft. You walk to that store in a straight line, buy our stuff and get the hell out there.

- You never find a girl that plays airsoft in a Mall. If you do --> she is doing previous point as well.

- If you still do notice that girl. Pray she is single, convince her that Airsoft is cool and if that succeeds ... enjoy life.

 

About guys, do not care at all.

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HaVoC, you must be the only one.

 

Others cackle madly and don't cry, be a man damn it.

 

But in fairness i do find that it is rather pointless entering any mall in the UK as the all have the same shops and gormless retards that inhabit them.

 

'FireKnife'

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But in fairness i do find that it is rather pointless entering any mall in the UK as the all have the same shops and gormless retards that inhabit them.

That's not at all true, mate. Most of the shops have closed down. :rolleyes:

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