Brick Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 THE NEXT PANDEMIC! I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol. I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc. From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu. This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not an isolated case. Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD and take some Nurofen (Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu). Others are reporting an English breakfast fry-up or a McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases. If not, then further application of the original liquid, in similar quantities to the original dose, has been shown to do the trick. Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period. NOTE: If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that it has mutated into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men Link to post Share on other sites
FireKnife Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I actually went and put Rick Roll in Youtube after reading that because it is the only thing i could think of that was worse than this in terms of humour. 'FireKnife' Link to post Share on other sites
Brick Posted November 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 you are too kind, my better half sent me that in an E-mail this morning and I just had to share the pain Link to post Share on other sites
Blackweell! Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 you are too kind, my better half sent me that in an E-mail this morning and I just had to share the pain To me she's your very, very, very, very worst half.... Link to post Share on other sites
Brick Posted November 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Careful Blackweell;, she reads these forums and has a P90 Link to post Share on other sites
Blackweell! Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Careful Blackweell;, she reads these forums and has a P90 ............ *runsandhides* Link to post Share on other sites
Jagdraben Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Error 101: Humor not found. Link to post Share on other sites
Kyrian_Zenda Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Careful Blackweell;, she reads these forums and has a P90 Tell her she can meet my RPK if I see more rubbish like this again Link to post Share on other sites
ED-SKaR Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 As a proffessor of medicine, with some experiance in this field, i have to say that the main symptoms of this illness are caused by the high level of dehidration that is comonly linked to what has been incorrectly dubbed "wine flu". Whyle the treatments you mention can help, it is important to injest large doses dihidrogen monoxide. I would recomend 300ml doses of DHMO every half hour for at least 2 hours, and further if symptoms persist. Link to post Share on other sites
apmaman Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 As a proffessor of medicine, with some experiance in this field, i have to say that the main symptoms of this illness are caused by the high level of dehidration that is comonly linked to what has been incorrectly dubbed "wine flu". Whyle the treatments you mention can help, it is important to injest large doses dihidrogen monoxide. I would recomend 300ml doses of DHMO every half hour for at least 2 hours, and further if symptoms persist. That stuffs good! Link to post Share on other sites
Shriven Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 ingest* Ed-skar, as a professor of medicine, I'd have hoped you'd have at least been able to SPELL professor... Good treatment though. That stuff is pretty vital to the process. Link to post Share on other sites
ED-SKaR Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 ingest* Ed-skar, as a professor of medicine, I'd have hoped you'd have at least been able to SPELL professor... Good treatment though. That stuff is pretty vital to the process. [out of charicter] Every doctor i know has such bad handwrighting that you wouldnt realise spelling Link to post Share on other sites
spetsnazdave87 Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 [out of charicter] Every doctor i know has such bad handwrighting that you wouldnt realise spelling this is also true... Link to post Share on other sites
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