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Brick

random funnies

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GLASS EYE

 

 

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

 

 

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

 

 

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

 

 

'Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

 

 

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks.

They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

 

 

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

 

 

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!

 

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

 

 

'No,' she replies

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait for it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's coming

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She says,

 

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

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11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE

 

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, 10 men and 1 woman.

 

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave

because otherwise they were all going to fall.

 

They weren't able to choose that person,

until the woman gave a very touching speech.

 

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because, as a woman,

she was used to giving up everything

for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

 

As soon as she finished her speech,

 

all the men started clapping . . .

 

SEND THIS MAIL TO AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN SO

That she has something to smile about today!!

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The sharing of marriage....

 

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

 

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

 

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

 

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

 

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

 

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

 

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

 

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

 

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

 

She answered

 

(Continue below - This is great)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'THE TEETH.'

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