Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

[jeoma1000]

I lol'd at this stuff. Gotta love British humor.

[FireKnife]

I lol'd at this stuff. Gotta love British humor.

 

When you come from a country that finds the weather a topic of conversation and a way to actually chat each other up you know you need a damn good sense of humour.

 

Still when i worked back in a supermarket on 'fresh' we were allowed to scan any item that was within 3 days of its best before down to 25% price if we planned to eat it for lunch or any other break (that was a fair bit of stuff).

 

'FireKnife'

[Cannonfodder80]

When I worked at Asda the biggest problem when the fire alarm went off wasn't getting customers out but them walking out with fully loaded trollies and loading it into their car before driving off without paying

[FireKnife]

When I worked at Asda the biggest problem when the fire alarm went off wasn't getting customers out but them walking out with fully loaded trollies and loading it into their car before driving off without paying

 

That is what happens when you live in a pikey part of the town / city

 

Still it wasn't as bad as the ones at Somerfields that tried to hide allsorts in well allsorts. One time we had a box of Walkers were the multipack bags had split so we taped them up, reduced them and sold them on. Someone decided to open up said multipack bad and put a 4pk of cider cans in it and close it again, trying to pass it off as the multipack. Now you would think a checkout staff member would notice the weight difference between 24 bags of crisps and 4 full cans of cider. Well as it turns out they didn't, it was only on CCTV that we saw what had happened. That person is still working at that store, now that it is a Morrisons on the checkouts and will most likely be there for the rest of their life.

 

Actually that is what makes me happy, knowing i probably wont have to work in a Tesco or Asda again, at least i hope not.

 

'FireKnife'

[WhiteHawksan]

I have booked tickets to start a new life with the love of my life. One way. I couldn't be happier.

[Cannonfodder80]

You mean there's a part of Hatfield that isn't Pikey? If you've seen the Lee Evans film 'The Martins' you know what I mean. The funniest attempt at theft I saw was the crack addict who walked up to the wheelchairs for customer use, sat down and wheeled himself up to a display of beer crates. He then stood up to pick up a crate, popped it onto his lap and wheeled himself to the door. At this point we decided to let him carry on his I can't walk act while putting the chair back (which was even funnier when he dropped the crate) before asking for the receipt and telling him to get out

 

Fast forward a week and the guy comes back at the same time and tries it again. This time the security manager decides to ban him from the store and sends him on his way.

 

One week later at the same time the guy comes back again and tries again (probably thinking 3rd time lucky). This time as the police are dragging him away he starts pleading to go easy on him as he has previous

[WhiteHawksan]

Reminds me of an absolute classic.

 

I was in lidl's looking forward to my smoked pork and turkey kebanossi.

 

2 Chavs are ahead at the till, one obviously badly concealing a bottle under his shell suit top. He pays for his items, the cashier asks if he would like anything else scanned.

 

Cometh the reply. Naaah mate.

 

Are you sure? Retorts the cashier, with what would be, if one had more than air between their ears be described as with unhidden glee.

 

Again, cometh the reply. Naaaah mate.

 

Upon stepping forward with his bag of shopping he is apprehended by the large burly security guard. His barely audible cries of I didn't do nuthink! Are lost as a bottle is removed from his shell suit jacket by the security guard and he is whisked away to the side office.

[Hedganian]

I have booked tickets to start a new life with the love of my life. One way. I couldn't be happier.

 

Where are you going? Good luck to you, wherever it is.

[WhiteHawksan]

Belfast of all places

[Hedganian]

Oh. I'm disappointed now, I was expecting New Zealand or Canada or something....

 

Oh well, have a great time in Belfast.

[WhiteHawksan]

If I were to go anywhere so wild, it'd probably be Norway/Finland/etc. There isn't really anything about other cultures that really inspires me, Great Britain was the pinnacle of culture

[Tinkerton]

I've had a hankering to emigrate for a while now. Somewhere like norway or sweden would suit me fine, cold, none of this stupid wishy washy summer maybe business, just proper cold.

 

In todays news, i have found out, to my delight that the disney film john carter (which i thought was actually pretty good, despite the pittance it took at the cinema) is based on a book. not just one book though, a series of books which are ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE.

 

Should see me through my reading habit for about a month or so.

 

Also, the book is written very, very well. no idea when it was written (i'm about to go find out) but it has a very old world, elegant feel in the descriptions and ways of putting things. Properly good books.

 

EDIT:

 

WRITTEN IN NINETEEN FLIPPING TWELVE! a book thats 100 years old and better than myriad books out there over the past decade.

[WhiteHawksan]

I'm both hoping and dreading Anna Karenina. I want it to be an intelligent throwback to Jane Austen but fear it'll be Pride and Prejudice meets sex and the city. I don't think most of the world would understand it if it was as smart and well written as the great classics...

[Tinkerton]

I've wanted to read some of 'the greats' for a while now. anna karenina, war and peace, etc etc etc, but never got around to it. Any good? (for a sci-fi fan :3)

[WhiteHawksan]

I read The Foundation series when I was 11, and I find them very good. I really do worry that Hollywood won't know how to handle the subtleties and elegance that make the classics so great and instead you'll end up with it all shoved in your face with terribly adapted dialogue.

[Hedganian]

In todays news, i have found out, to my delight that the disney film john carter (which i thought was actually pretty good, despite the pittance it took at the cinema) is based on a book. not just one book though, a series of books which are ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE.

 

Seriously? You honestly didn't get that? Even though it says it's based on the book right at the beginning of the film. AND the author of the book is actually a character in the film...

 

Makes me wonder why so many people slated the film for being "derivative" of other sci-fi films, when it is based on a book that's been in print of a century and is clear what some other sci-fi works are deriving FROM!

 

Have fun reading the books.

[DarkLite]

Good, classic Sci-fi?

 

Issac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Orson Scott Card. Those should get you started off.

[Stuey]

Asimov is good stuff. I really enjoyed the Powell & Donovan stories.

[FireKnife]

Reminds me of an absolute classic.

 

I was in lidl's looking forward to my smoked pork and turkey kebanossi.

 

Surely that is the bit you were going on about being funny?

 

Still watching my manager run after a chav stealing a video camera and dragging him to the ground, throwing him over a bush was quite spectacular.

 

As for moving, hmmm should i move to NZ and live a life in a country that is warmer than here all year round or stay in the UK with my missus of 2yrs? Damn decisions.

 

Asimov is good stuff.

 

Didn't he come up with those '3 Laws of Robotics' that we see in films all the time, the whole a robot may harm a human, may not lead to another being harmed etc?

 

'FireKnife'

[FireKnife]

Reminds me of an absolute classic.

 

I was in lidl's looking forward to my smoked pork and turkey kebanossi.

 

Surely that is the bit you were going on about being funny?

 

Still watching my manager run after a chav stealing a video camera and dragging him to the ground, throwing him over a bush was quite spectacular.

 

As for moving, hmmm should i move to NZ and live a life in a country that is warmer than here all year round or stay in the UK with my missus of 2yrs? Damn decisions.

 

Asimov is good stuff.

 

Didn't he come up with those '3 Laws of Robotics' that we see in films all the time, the whole a rbot may harm another, may not lead to another being harmed etc?

 

'FireKnife'

[WhiteHawksan]

Good, classic Sci-fi?

 

Issac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Orson Scott Card. Those should get you started off.

 

Harry Harrison, Piers Anthony and of Course Iain M Banks are a few more that should keep you reading sometime into next year

[Wild_XIII]

LAN party at my old work place tomorrow. Bring on the BBQ (or braai for the crazy South Africans I worked with) beer and Quake! It's been too long since I've had a proper LAN sesh.

[Tinkerton]

Watched the film of John carter again last night. Don't think it said anywhere based on the books by...

 

 

Also, considering the author wrote the books in 1912, isn't he likely to be... Y'know, dead by now?

 

EDIT:

 

Nm, misread the bit where you said the character. Yes, there is a character in the film called Edgar, but that's about it. No mention is made of his surname, nor is it hinted at that he wrote a book.

Indeed, in the books themselves 'Edgar' merely writes a preface to the journals of john carter.

 

Bloody good books though.

[Hedganian]

No, the author isn't personally acting in the film, but I'm pretty sure that one of the characters is Edgar Rice Burroughs, who wrote the books. And I'm fairly sure it's legally required to acknowledge the source material the film is adapted from. It's normally part of the opening credits - I believe it says something like "based on the novel ' A Princess of Mars' by Edgar Rice Burroughs"

 

For other classic Sci-Fi reading, try David Weber, Lois McMaster Bujold, Eric Flint and pretty much anything published by Baen. Free ebooks can be found completely legally at the Baen Free Library to whet your appetites and sample various series without having to risk money on an unknown book.

[Stuey]

Didn't he come up with those '3 Laws of Robotics' that we see in films all the time, the whole a rbot may harm another, may not lead to another being harmed etc?

 

'FireKnife'

 

He did indeed, the rules are:

 

1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

 

2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

 

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

 

Taken from the back of my copy of 'The Complete Robot' which is an anthology of Asimov's work, thoroughly recommended book.

 

The Powell and Donovan stories are great because they're basically troubleshooters for US Robots and Mechanical Men, and although the Three Laws might seem simple, the logical contradictions behind some of the applications of the Laws create some fascinating problems which the two have to solve, really interesting reading.