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Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?


amateurstuntman

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Throw all her shoes in front of her, and the clothes she bought and has never worn, and ask her to talk about 'sensible'.

 

Then when she flies off the handle in a mad woman's rage, tell her she's not being sensible then either.

 

Then buy the map.

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Throw all her shoes in front of her, and the clothes she bought and has never worn, and ask her to talk about 'sensible'.

 

Then when she flies off the handle in a mad woman's rage, tell her she's not being sensible then either.

 

Then buy the map.

She doesn't do the whole shopping thing. Hates it, actually.

 

It leaves me very little leverage.

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She doesn't do the whole shopping thing. Hates it, actually.

It leaves me very little leverage.

Just put your foor down then and tell her you're the man of the house..

 

I'm drunk, and the washing machine repair man is coming today.  I hope he's ready for non serious work time!!

 

Darkchild

In no way does that sound rapey.

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I searched "moscart" in eBay just now, and as a related search it came up with "Dried mealworms"

 

 

One of you sick bastards has clearly been launching dead bugs out of a grenade launcher.

 

 

Come on... Fess up.

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I recall searching for a 1.8kg tub of Jelly Belly beans last night (turns out they are about £20 delivered from Costco) and Google ads linked me to some sort of fruit and chocolate flavoured body coverings for having dirty fun with.

 

Seriously Google, if you are going to invade my privacy with your whorish advertising at least make it about something that isn't a waste of money and tastes awful.

 

Though it did also link me to a place to buy Jelly Belly Flops, half the price freak beans that sometimes have the wrong colour to flavour match. Sounds awesome to me to be honest.

 

'FireKnife'

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I recall searching for a 1.8kg tub of Jelly Belly beans last night (turns out they are about £20 delivered from Costco) and Google ads linked me to some sort of fruit and chocolate flavoured body coverings for having dirty fun with.

 

Seriously Google, if you are going to invade my privacy with your whorish advertising at least make it about something that isn't a waste of money and tastes awful.

 

Though it did also link me to a place to buy Jelly Belly Flops, half the price freak beans that sometimes have the wrong colour to flavour match. Sounds awesome to me to be honest.

 

'FireKnife'

I think that's probably Google going on what else you've been searching for

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My trainer has put me in touch with a contact of his who is a sports nutritionist and who is offering me a 3 month free trial of her services in exchange for a simple endorsement at the end.

 

There is literally no downside.

 

I was planning on addressing my diet in February anyway.  All win.

 

 

Also, this joke:

 

You can't explain puns to thieves.  They take things literally.

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