Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

[amateurstuntman]

If you can't see him, it's foggy.

 

If there is a shadow behind him, it's sunny.

[scorch]

[shmook]

Car loaded up with a weeks worth of kit, wife, boy and dogs loaded on board too.

 

 

Aaaand, I waved them off to the lakes, while I have a week at home on my own!

[Lone_Bullet]

Time to get Cider, Whisky and salted nuts 'n' bacon!

[shmook]

It's more a beer and wine sort of week, I feel!

 

Got the dining room to seal the walls, plasterboard, huge fireplace to strip and re-point, and a huge pile of parquet flooring to clean up, as well as work.

 

Still, no dogs to walk and child to put to bed each night frees up so much time

[shmook]

More double postage, but so what, it's the weekend!

 

Making me giggle is the new haribo tangfastic advert. Not seen it before and I just had a good lol at it

[Tw1tch]

I have entered into an agreement to purchase a bike off a colleague. I know almost nothing about bikes but it's a Boardman comp of some description.

 

Apparently they're decent? He also installed some carbon handlebars and a bike PC (don't need this, my Garmin Vivoactive deals with cycling).

 

Best thing is I can pay him in installments, so right now as a minimum it's what I pay for transport each week (£65 lol taxis and buses) but hoping to pay more off to start having a fair bit of extra cash lying round.

 

Now I need some recommendations for locks/lock brands to keep it safe as it's currently hidden in the cloakroom at work (doesn't get used during summer, is locked and has CCTV coverage hooray).

 

When I was borrowing my dad's bike years ago he made me use a chain for frame and wheels to an anchor as well as a D lock on the frame to something solid. Wondering if there is a more effective way to deter thieves as it either needs to be in our alley bike stand (CCTV both ends but pretty poor definition and bikes have definitely gone walkies down there before), on the railings opposite my pub or a public bikestand a few feet to the side of my pub, unsure of CCTV coverage.

[hitmanNo2]

Just don't buy a cable lock.  They're utterly useless.

[Hedganian]

Personally, my view is the more locks the better.

 

There's literally nothing you can do to stop a determined thief from stealing your bike, all you can do is slow them down. Most thieves are opportunistic - if you make it too much work they'll look elsewhere - they want to be gone quickly so the longer it looks like it will take, the less likely they are to start trying. They'll just move on to an easier target.

 

Kryptonite locks are the best - and new ones come with a guarantee that if they are defeated the manufacturer will replace your bike up to a certain amount.

 

But more slightly cheaper locks are better than one amazing lock in my opinion. Lock everything to everything else. Lock the frame, lock the wheels.

[paranoiddroid]

Something chunky with a thatcham rating that's designed to delay power tools most people when they see a big thick chain won't bother and will move to an easier target

[Tw1tch]

Yeah I've seen enough bikes missing wheels or frames to know that securing some of the bike is not a good idea as someone will have the rest.

[hitmanNo2]

I seem to recall 16 mm is a key thickness that can't be defeated by bolt cutters.

 

Good page on it here.

 

http://thebestbikelock.com/

[Skarclaw]

I used a motorcycle lock but imo most important factor is to stash it where people can see it. In my case outside a cafe / bike repair shop - doubt they'd take too kindly to a bloke with boltcutters

[shmook]

Is ther no way you can keep it indoors?

[Mike_West]

So I saw "War Dogs" today, and people with more photo skills than me like my photos from yesterday's shoot.

[paranoiddroid]

My lock was a thatcham gold inch thick steel cable with a heavy lock that got me a discount on my scooter insurance and usually it went through both wheels and the rack it definitely was too much hassle to pinch plus when someone tried to push me off my bike and steal it in york and he took the lock to the testicles it solved the issue. And once the boy used it when he got jumped one night in york fairly effectively.

[Tw1tch]

Is ther no way you can keep it indoors?

Not really. I can short term as we have a walk in fridge in the cellar that is rarely ever used but I'll get a *badger*ing if I keep it there long term.

[paranoiddroid]

that sucks

[Tw1tch]

However talking to one of my line managers there is a cupboard that only is used weekend nights, I work weekend mornings and therefore empty that cupboard before we open on the days it's in use. So it's not causing a fire hazard, only thing is a table is quite close to it ( just need to be careful when placing the table on the mornings).

 

Going to get a couple of the Kryptonite New York minis I think, they seem to do a decent job.

[shmook]

Bike theft is a big problem here.

 

If I were you, I'd be buying a cheapo one whose parts aren't worth stripping off if I couldn't keep it indoors.

[Hardcore1-6]

Quick question why the hell does civilians not being able to wear the issue helmet actually matter they aren't likely to need to and cadets isn't surprising because their still teens and usually fat and unfit at the start.

 

It's quite often that someone has the bright idea to bring parents and kids to the ranges or throw them down assault obstacle courses for fun.

 

It's like Tough Mudder but with a gun at the end.  Ain't nothing like getting muzzle swept by a 70 year old man.

 

Health and Safety mother funglers.

[amateurstuntman]

I got barrel swept on the ranges in basic by some guy (don't remember his name)  After he got out of the med centre he finished training in another troop.

[Hedganian]

Acting as assistant range safety staff for A Coy's first ever live firing as a JUO (junior under officer) back in UOTC.

 

Some tiny cute blonde girl is fumbling around with this weapon, doesn't really know what she's doing, but eventually gets there with a bit of coaching from me - I just assume it's nerves.

 

On the command to engage the targets, she squeezes the trigger and nothing happens. So she literally turns around with the rifle pointing directly at my chest, centre mass, and says "I think something is wrong"

 

Cue intense pucker factor. Everything goes silent, all I can see is this muzzle which I swear was big enough to drive down with a glint of copper at the end.

 

So I say something like "okay, I'll sort it out for you, but first can you just place the rifle down for me?"

 

She looks confused and says "but I need to get it fixed".

 

"I know, but just place the weapon on the floor for me and then we'll get it sorted," around the sandpaper tongue and bone dry throat...

 

She finally starts to comply and as soon as her hand let's go of it a Colour Sergeant shaped blur of C95 goes past and she's off the firing point. I slowly sit down, heart hammering.

 

One of the other safety staff comes over a couple of minutes later, gives me a brew and casually informs me that her rifle was loaded, made-ready and had the safety off. No idea why it didn't fire the first time before she turned, but if she'd pulled the trigger there's a good chance I'd have died. I was like "thanks, mate, that really helps"

 

Turned out the A Coy CSM had signed off everyone's weapon handling tests whether or not they'd passed or even been given the lesson.

 

Should have been courts martialed, but it was swept under the rug. My CSgt did knock him out, though, so that was a small comfort...

[Hardcore1-6]

My CSgt did knock him out, though, so that was a small comfort...

Best justice is back of bike shed justice.

 

First time a SNCO asked for a closed door chat in my office as a 2Lt I shat my pants a little and couldn't find the panic button under the desk.

[scorch]

You military guys are lucky.

 

Us civvies don't get to beat the apprentices/idiot colleagues any more.

 

 

I got my beatings as a lad, and now I'm a manager I can't beat my lad for his *fruitcage* ups.

 

No wonder the world's going to *suitcase*.