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Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

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"It would be better if they reviewed cars that you could actually afford without taking out another bloody MORTGAGE!!" yeah dad thats called 5th gear with Tiff Needell, it was *suitcase* 


then you catch him google-imaging Vicki Butler-Henderson on his tesco hudl tablet

Edited by Skarclaw
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It's really simple people.   Scorch is right, the My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch! thread (although a great place to get out the stresses of the day) is very negative, let us celebrate the things that hav

Stepped out into the garden 15 minutes ago; Found out nature had used a bucket, some H20 and some cold to produce me an awesome plinking target;    

Current girlfriend is just about perfect. Super intelligent, is a doctor (so helpful, if the Russians invade and we need to start a guerilla war), absolutely filthy in the bedroom and when she's upset

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It's true though. More price/performance reviews in the € 10k to € 30k range. But that's no fun. Its only usefull. Bloody boring.


On the smile side: my €2,5k bill for car repair has been reduced to a €1,75k bill. And she drives smoooooooth as butter ^^. Also, tax returns. BLOODY FINALLY! :D

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stop mentioning fire.



My apologies.

I'm sure your car will be in fer no surprises.


Do you have an extinguisher?


Right. Been fighting it, but want to ask...


Mind sharing details, or should I shut the *fruitcage* up?


Guessing the fact you mentioned it allowed curiosity, apologies if not ;)


I mentioned it in the context of driving uninsured being a bad thing.  It reminded me.

I don't mind telling you more but it isn't really a happy thread kind of a thing.




I went out for a drive in the car of a 17 year old kid who had been given a Pug 205 1.6 GTi for his birthday.

It was the kid, his mate, his mate's little brother (who was my mate) and me.


Apparently his dad was broke, struggling to pay for the school and all his wife's spending, paying credit card off with credit cards etc. he didn't tell her.

His son expected a car, she expected him to buy one.


Being skint he went cheap and knowingly bought a cut and shut car.

(You don't really get them any more but I'll explain in case you don't know - you get two crashed cars, cut them both in half and make one "good" one by welding them together).


He then told his wife he had dealt with the insurance.  He had not.



Showing off for us and egged on by me (still have regret about that) the driver drove very fast around a series of curves near the school.

We went through the curves both ways then went back a second time even faster and lost it (I now realise it was lift-off-oversteer).

We went off the road on a superelevated curve on a steep hillside. The car - spinning and rolling - hit a tree whilst still in the air.

It tore into two parts and continued to roll down the hill.


I was in the left seat in the back half of the car, next to my mate.  His head went out the window and got caught on something. The car rolled onto it twisting his head around and breaking his neck.

Our half rolled down the hill and landed in some sloppy mud on the side of a river.


The front half of the car rolled down the hill too.  The car didn't have any structure left so it just buckled, crushing and killing both of them.  It then landed on a flattish area of rocks by the side of the river.


I didn't know first aid then and I was confused and upset but I tried to do CPR on my mate.  It didn't work because his neck had torn open and the air just came out of the hole.

When the front of the car caught fire I tried to put water from the river on it but I didn't have anything to hold the water with.

I used the front of my top but it leaked a lot and I got too close and I got a burned (just superficial *suitcase* and my clothes and hair).


It was a bit overwhelming and I didn't really know what to do and I think I just kind of zoned out then and by the time people arrived to help the fire had mostly gone out on its own.


I don't really remember it that much of it, other than a bit of pink skin and some blisters I was pretty much uninjured.

I read back my own statement later and it felt like I was describing events that happened to someone else.

The statement is what I remember now, sometimes I get flashes of things, usually when I smell burning skin. It was over 20 years ago now.


I was already a bit of a pariah in the school, I only had 3 friends and he was the second one to die that year.

After that (and another thing) people thought I was bad luck and nobody would speak to me any more, I sort of lost it and that cemented the alcohol problems I still have now.


Anyway, the guy got arrested and lost his job, his wife left him and nobody got anything because there was no money to sue for.

I still get a bit anxious if I have to sit in the back left of a three door car but life moves on.




That was a bit of a grim year if I'm honest, it wasn't even the worst thing that happened to me that summer.

Sorry for the rambling wall of text, I don't really want to read it back to edit for clarity.




It's true though. More price/performance reviews in the € 10k to € 30k range. But that's no fun. Its only usefull. Bloody boring.


On the smile side: my €2,5k bill for car repair has been reduced to a €1,75k bill. And she drives smoooooooth as butter ^^. Also, tax returns. BLOODY FINALLY! :D


If you want that, buy the magazine, they do exactly that, every month.

They also have video clips on line that you can get to from QR codes on the pages or some such nonsense

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Stunt. mate.


I feel like saying something because your story hit me in the guts and grabbed by throat.


I'm sorry you had to go through that.


But my wailing about life being unfair in perspective.


You're strong, mate.

Without knowing you I respect you for that.

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Mate, I don't even have words for that.


I think I'd need a lifetime of therapy if something like that had happened when I was a teenager.


I don't even know what to say.


Don't worry about it, water under the bridge.


Jesus.  That is utterly brutal.


Burning flesh and rotting flesh are two smells I think I will never forget.


I'm sorry you've had to smell either.

You OK?


*fruitcage* me...


Stunt, I'm ever lucky enough to go driving with you it's only the best passenger seat for you!


Thank you.

No more Peugeots for me.

Two crashes in them, both from the back left seat.





Thanks for the kind words guys.

Don't worry about me, I am alive and functional and that is more than most people have.

I had to get this name somewhere and taking a tumble down a hill is part of it.



I am naturally equipped to cope with things like this, the ASD kicks in and I disassociate.

That was around the same time my girlfriend killed herself, my other mate had an embolism mid sentence and I was being sexually abused by an older kid.

I was immature then but over the years I have developed a lot of emotional resilience and I know how to use my ASD to my advantage.



My life is really good right now, better to get busy enjoying it than mope over the past and ruin it eh?

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Me too.


I imagine life would be a lot easier if dream catchers worked, karma was real or I could believe in a god.


However, I do not or cannot.


Life craps on you sometimes, the chances are about 7.4 billion to 1 against you having the crappiest life.

Most people have it worse than us.


We have the internet and the freedom to use it.  That makes us (by nothing more than random chance) the elite.








On a lighter note:



Edited by amateurstuntman
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Happy things then?


I leave for germany in just over 30 hours.


My car is performing admirably.


I have euros and spares, and will be spending a week with friends eating good food (SO MUCH FOOD AT PINOCHIOS!), drinking exemplary beer, and driving cars.


It's going to be a great week.




Also just realised (after watching Agent Carter) that in the right light, Mrs Tink looks a good deal like a certain miss Hayley Atwell. Booyah.

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Double post because I am the law.


Last minute haircut and stock wash before I wash and polish rusty and tidy it out, pack my tools and clothes and triple check I've got all the required documents and then off to Marlowe's for a BBQ before we meet up with the others at 5am tomorrow morning for the journey to dover, and then The Ring!

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