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Manly thread dies of old age: Arnie's not manly enough?


amateurstuntman

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It is doable without the lottery! Depends on your lifestyle/debt though!

 

The first step is to buy a piece of agricultural land as large or as small as you can afford - provided its more than 5 acres.

 

The second step is to jump through planning regulations hoops - if you submit to the local council a "agricultural prior notice consent form" for a building less then 465 sq/ft you will not need planning permission to build it. In this case, the building is going to be your forge for your "agricultural business" of knife making ;). Once you've done that, you can install a mobile home there - again without planning permission

 

Step 3: If you can prove your business has been a success after five years, congratulations you can apply for planning permission to build a house. Of course if you are happy with a mobile home then this isn't really a thang.

 

IF you're interested in self-sufficiency etc this is the easiest way to go about it ;)

 

&

 

IF I could convince a woman to accompany me I'd be doing it myself ;)

 

edit: obviously there is a little more to it then that (legal and land stuff) but yea you get the gist. *fruitcage* offices man *fruitcage* em

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That's pretty much how my parents ended up with a decent pile in the country.

 

I actually looked into it a few years ago, it is being clamped down on though.

 

Still possible, but the wife wouldn't go for it I don't think. She wouldn't want our 19 month old growing up as trailer trash :P

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I would love to sneak a house onto a bit of greenbelt.  Sounds very tempting.  Not sure how well a knife making business would work.  Got to be a saturated market.  I suppose there are other ways.  I was looking at the whole super green building that has loads of check boxes you have to make to enable you to build where you wouldn't normally.  I'm at a point where I'm considering buying a depressing little flat and having years and years of mortgage payments ahead of me.  I would much rather have a few acres and build my own place.

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Scorch that sounds amazing. I would be a very happy man, just need to add a Saarloos wolfhound into the mix and I'm in heaven. 

 

And a cat to keep the mice at bay.

 

As long as any visitors bring books for me, I'd be set.

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Horses are twitchy swivel-eyed lunatics.

Their owners are mental and most don't give a ###### about the mayhem they cause.

 

I know it might seem like hypocrisy from a cyclist but they clog up the roads worse than I do because they are slower - and they *suitcase* on it.

 

They get in the way and then even if the rider doesn't want to be in the way the horse can decide to rotate 90° and sidestep along, blocking the whole road.

 

At least my bike goes where I steer it and I hardly ever *suitcase* in the road.

 

Also, they go for cyclists, I am attacked by horses who try to bite me while I am on the bike.

 

Also, it ###### me off that cars slow down and give a horse room but they blast past me 5mm from my bars and shout abuse.  Why?

Horses are more of a pain in the *albartroth* than me, why are you nice to them?

 

I know.

 

It's because if you hit a cyclist at high speed you get a bloody smear and some scratches on your car.

If you hit a horse at high speed you get a crazed, wounded, half-tonne *bramston pickle* through your windscreen *albartroth*-first.  That's why.

 

*fruitcage* horses.  The French have the right idea.  They are delicious and lean.

http://www.musclefood.com/catalogsearch/result/?order=relevance&dir=desc&a=all&q=horse

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I agree, the French are right, they're delicious! 

 

My parents run a cattery and kennels with equine feed merchant supplies store on the side.

 

We get all manners of moody cows come into the store rude and completely out of order. I don't have time for them. I much prefer cyclists, you cyclists may ride two abreast every now and then but so do horses, at least you guys go down to single file when a car approaches. And you say thank you when we give you a wide berth! 

 

What annoys me most about horses and horse riders is their complete lack of time awareness.. Is it really necessary to go for a ride in rush hour? Surely it'd be less stress for all parties including the horse to go mid day when the commuters aren't using the roads? And if they insist on going at rush hour surely you would stick off the rat runs? The UK is full of little back roads and fields, go ride on those that are quiet not the busy roads and then get ###### off and ###### off everyone else!

 

/rant apologies for the thread diversion! 

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Don't forget the riders get really pissy if you pass them closer than 10 yards and going faster than half a mile per hour. Of course you could decide to get off the roads, only to find they're blocked by fat middle class teenagers on several hundred pounds of tesco burger who refuse to let anyone through

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I was in Kuwait on operational stand down for 2 days and went to a (dry) bar.  I saw many members of the 4th Alabama Battalion (National Guard) line dancing, and that was enough to last me a lifetime.

 

We nearly caused a riot, sat by the bar, pissing ourselves laughing at all these stetson wearing goons with deadly serious expressions on their faces while they slapped their feet etc.

We were all in uniform, despite being on downtime as naturally you don't pack civvies when deploying to war, so they loved Brits after that.

 

Hearts and minds.

 

Darkchild

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I *fruitcage* hate line dancing.... had a teacher force me to do it as part of pe when at school because disabled and wheelchair meant they had *fruitcage* all organised for me and so it was that and forced revision that I got *badger*s for not taking seriously.

 

I hated school I got bullied and when I fought back I was the one in the *suitcase* and whinged at... someone stole food from me (protip: don't steal crisps from overly hormonal woman on allot of painkilling meds that *fruitcage* with your mood) so I pinned him to the wall by his throat until he gave me my crisps back and I was the one in the wrong....

 

I got sucker punched by some guy so I smashed his head into the desk and I'm apparantly the *albatross*....

 

Plus I had to play nice with the rest of the PD kids on trips and *suitcase* and got to share a *fruitcage*ton of my classes with one of them and basically got none of my statemented support because they had a system of 'shared hours' by dumping 2 PD kids in the same class and because I wasn't in a wheelchair I was obviously less needing of help so got *fruitcage* all support unless I pushed for it.

 

The kid I shared most.of my support with was a horrible smarmy little twats, gelled back hair air Jordans and bragging about mummy and daddy's money, who bullied and cheated and lied and only escaped a kicking because he was in a chair. Thought it was funny to steal from.my back and hide my things. On a year 11 trip one of the pe staff had to pull me off him because he'd got mouthy and decided to try and fight me, I'd been training in bjj and ground fighting for about three years and spent 15 minutes kicking the *suitcase* out of him aiming to knock the twat out. The pe teacher ended up stopping me just before he passed out.... shame.

 

I got *fruitcage*ed out of invites to sports events because I wasn't a full time chair user, was Expected to 'pull my weight and help the others' on PD team trips by carrying bags or pushing one of the lazy *Ubarflock* who wouldn't push themselves.

 

I got *fruitcage*ed out of a national title and a place on the gb development squad because the coach didn't give a *fruitcage* unless you were the kid he was assigned to as an lsa or one of the wheelchair lot. I had surgury and it turned out afterwards I was racing in a class 2 levels higher than I should have been and for the rest of the time I got bitched at because I was 'antagonistic' 'pissy' and 'didnt understand it's not his fault he didn't do his job properly with me because he had so.many other athletes to worry about' plus when I vented to someone in the privacy of my room and opined that unless you were a chair user or acted up they didnt give a *fruitcage*, I got forced to apologise in front of the whole team because one of the members of staff stood and listened outside my *fruitcage* door.

 

Because I wasn't in a chair full time and because I didn't play nice and be the poor helpless little cripple girl that said yes sir three bags full sir and accept being talked to like I was 6 by patronising 'support workers' who were in the mode of 'isn't it a shame and they won't be able to do it so I'll do it for them'

 

I got treated like a second class spastic

 

 

If I could go back to about age 13 knowing what I do now I wouldn't have started smoking hash and weed as early as I did, wouldn't have drank as much, would have refused 2 of my operations and would hunt down about 7 people with a framing hammer for a much deserved beating.

 

On that kind of note, why do people in films use sledgehammers as weapons? I personally would think a framing or lump hammer would work better. A claw hammer is just too light though imo.

 

Ok I have booked my appointment to meet the guys to talk about shop access and had beer and pizza for breakfast does that count for this thread?1

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Could we steer this thread back to some old fashioned manlyness please? Most of the post belong in the my eye thread anyway. Thanks.

On topic: started running again last monday and did againlast Wednesday. I convinced myself I could restart at the 10km I ended at a month ago. Did it. Legs completely rigid and senews screaming. Heartbeat at 185 bpm at the last km but I did it and no f*cks were given. Feeling quite good for going 11km/h average.

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Gym last night. 

 

Cycled for 35 mins. followed by brisk walk on the treadmill for 30 mins at 6km/h on 10% incline.

 

Sweat pouring off me by the time I was done. Literally felt it dripping out of my hair.

 

Feels great not being a permanently sofa-bound lazy *bramston pickle* anymore.

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