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I just experienced birth.


sp00n

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Thanks for that... ;)

 

THE FOLLOWING IS AN ENTIRELY, 100%, TOTALLY TRUE STORY

 

Being the sad bugger I am, I bought an Antquarium from IWOOT.com.

 

It was marvellous, watching all 8 little anties scuttling rounds and digging tunnels...until I found there were only 7. Mildly perplexed, I left the thing on top of my computer and went about my work. I looked in next day, to find...6 ants, digging tunnels...

 

...then 5...

 

...then 4...

 

One day I took to watching them. My my, how amazing they were. Amazing creatures, but harmless...until I found one scuttling up the side and then clinging to the roof of the Antquarium. I watched in amazement as it tried to sqeeze itself through the tiny breathing holes in the lid...and succeeded. I pushed the little bigger back in with the blunt end of pin, and formulated a plan.

 

I placed 2 1p coins partially over the holes, held in place with blu-tac. It allowed the holes to be about half open, letting the ants breathe but not letting them escape.

 

I went on holiday to America for 2 weeks.

 

When I retured...I found one ant going about his business, albeit rather sluggishly, and the other 3 lying dead on the top. It turns out that as the temperature changed, the blu-tac expanded and contracted, and pulled the penny right over the hole, suffocating the ants.

 

Needless to say I was shocked by this occurance. I threw open the lid, and evacuated the remaining ant (READ: stood in my porch and flicked him out off a stick). Then I dumped the rest in a shady patch at the bottom of the garden, where no-one would discover the bodies and traces of mass anticide.

 

Yes.

0_o wow,. just wow, back when i was a scrapper we blew or burned them alive, not raise them, lol

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When i was a kid i used to have a sick fascination in carefully picking an ant up and flicking it into a spiders web and getting a buzz when the spider shot out and nailed the little blighter...

 

 

:huh:

......

 

:mellow:

Okay...

I was disturbed as a kid...

 

@lionel: Rhino stands there... Growling (with much better throat after having lozenge from BadAss...)

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When i was a kid i used to have a sick fascination in carefully picking an ant up and flicking it into a spiders web and getting a buzz when the spider shot out and nailed the little blighter...

:huh:

......

 

:mellow:

Okay...

I was disturbed as a kid...

 

@lionel: Rhino stands there... Growling (with much better throat after having lozenge from BadAss...)

 

 

and who says you're still not a disturbed individual? ;)

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one day last year me and my friends were skirmishing in one of my friends backyard. Low and behold we come across a 1 and 1 half inch bee. me and my friend had like fifty rounds left so we opened up on it. when were done we could not find an parts of the bee. :P

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My friend had an ant problem in his back garden, so he bought several ant repellents and chemicals, but they didn't have much of an effect <_< so what genius idea did he come up with that not even the best scientists could come up with...................................petrol lots and lots of petrol then boom :o it went up very fast burning half the garden he was trying to save :blink: but it was very funny

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Think I mentioned this before, but here goes...

 

Get a bumblebee in a jar. How you accomplish this is entirely up to you. Put said bumblebee in the freezer for about fifteen minutes. This'll give it a "Han Solo" and freeze it without killing it. Then take it out and tie a bit of string around it.

 

Let it warm up and voila! A Bee On A Leash to attack friends with*

 

 

*It may get very angry and attack you instead. I absolve myself of all blame in this eventuality

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Think I mentioned this before, but here goes...

 

Get a bumblebee in a jar.  How you accomplish this is entirely up to you.  Put said bumblebee in the freezer for about fifteen minutes.  This'll give it a "Han Solo" and freeze it without killing it.  Then take it out and tie a bit of string around it.

 

Let it warm up and voila!  A Bee On A Leash to attack friends with*

*It may get very angry and attack you instead.  I absolve myself of all blame in this eventuality

 

or even better.....Link!

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Orchestra

Leader:A-one, two, a-one two three four

Leader: Half a bee, philisophically,

Must ipso facto half not be.

But half a bee has got to be

Vis a vis it's entity.

-d'you see?

But can a bee be said to be

Or not to be an entire bee,

When

half the bee is not a bee,

Due to some ancient injury.

-Singing!...

All sing: La di di, one two three,

Eric the Half a Bee.

A B C D E F G,

Eric the Half a Bee.

Leader: Is this wretched demi-bee,

Half asleep upon my knee,

Some freak from a mena

gerie?

All yell: No! It's Eric the Half a Bee.

All sing: Fiddle di dum, fiddle di dee,

Eric the Half a Bee.

Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,

Eric the Half a Bee.

Leader: I love this hive employ-ee-ee,

Bisected accidentally,

One summer's afternoon by me,

I love him carnally.

All sing: He loves him carnally...

Leader: Semi-carnally.

(speaks)

The End.

Voice: Cyril Connolly?

Leader: No, semi-carnally.

Voice: Oh.

All sing: (Quietly)

Cyril Connolly

(Ends with an elaborate whistle)

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