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PEPERAMI TACTICAL NOODLES

AFTER-ACTION REPORT

 

INTRODUCTION

I have been meaning to write a review of the new Peperami Tactical Noodles for a few days now, but after a small group of Hunger forces managed to compromise my position I was forced to use them in anger. I thought this an ideal time to review the Tactical Noodles, as the attack occurred at a time of approximately 0230, and I could think of no better test of a new product than its performance at such short notice. If the Tactical Noodles were not battle-ready at such short notice, they would be of no use in the field.

 

BRIEFING

First impressions of the Peperami Tactical Noodles were good - they were delivered in a pleasing Olive Drab foil packet, and were fairly solid, yet light. These Tactical Noodles would be ideal for carrying in the field. There was some Coyote Brown, Black and Desert Tan on the packaging, but it should not be enough to betray your position in a woodland environment, although the yellow areas are of slight concern.

 

ptn01.jpg

 

Inside, there were 2 packets - one in similar colours to the main packaging, containing small pieces of Peperami (more on this later). The other was a small silver packet containing the SNRE (Sauce Not Ready to Eat). This is in a Tactical Silver colour and is designed to double as a small signalling mirror for communication during life-threatening situations in remote areas (LTSRA).

 

ptn02.jpg

 

ENGAGEMENT

Once I went on the offensive using the Peperami Tactical Noodles, everything was handled very smoothly. Readying was easy - a pan of water from a clean source was brought to the boil on a heat source, and the block of Tactical Noodles was added. The sachet of SNRE was added, and stirred into the water. After approximately 4 minutes had passed, the heat source was removed, and the sachet of Peperami pieces was added and stirred in. The Peperami Tactical Noodles are now ready for use, even under battlefield conditions.

 

At this point I must quickly say how I was impressed with the quick-release system integrated into the 2 sachets. They had a 'Tactically Serrated Edge' (TSE) on 2 sides, and this made it easy to release a corner from the packets for easy extraction of the contents.

 

A picture of the prepared Tactical Noodles can be seen below.

 

ptn03.jpg

 

It is at this point also worth noting the colour of the Tactical Noodles. Although the packet would seem best suited to a woodland environment, no attempt has been made to camouflage the contents themselves. The Tactical Noodles are of a fine Desert Tan colour, and the Peperami pieces are of what can only be described as a 'dark Coyote Brown'. I wonder how well the Peperami pieces would blend in with a loadout if carried separately (e.g. on a carbine RIS/RAS system, or attached to webbing with 550 Para Cord). Krylon spray paint might be needed to better integrate these with your overall loadout.

 

DEPLOYMENT

The Tactical Noodles were a joy to deploy in the field. All that is needed is a Battlefield Cutlery set - an issue set would be fine, but I used my Specialty Defense Systems Enhanced Battlefield Cutlery Set (EBCS), with Olive Drab furniture. A picture of my Enhanced Battlefield Fork (EBF) interfacing with the Peperami Tactical Noodles can be seen below.

 

ptn04.jpg

 

At this point, I executed what is known as the US Navy OTTER 'Mouth Burn' technique. I have blacked out my face for OpSec reasons.

 

ptn05.jpg

 

The noodles performed excellently in the field, providing a sturdy defence against the Hunger attack, and ranking quite highly on the 'Tactical Taste' scale.

 

The one slight problem I encountered is that occasionally, a few Tactical Noodles would perform a flanking manoeuvre, and slip off the side of the Enhanced Battlefield Spoon (EBS). The best control over the Tactical Noodles was brought about using both the EBS and the EBF in conjunction with each other.

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DEBRIEFING

After deploying the Tactical Noodles in the field, there was little debris left over. The pan and EBCS was cleaned out using a mixture of Fairly Liquid Industries Battlefield Soap Product (BSP) and an issue Olive Drab scouring sponge.

 

For the record, the equipment used for this test was as follows:

 

ptn06.jpg

 

Top: Issue saucepan, Black handle

Bottom: SDS Enhanced Battlefield Cutlery Set (EBCS), Olive Drab furniture

 

As a defence against further Hunger attacks, I set up a defence consisting of 2 Tactical Tesco cookies (see below) - one in Desert Tan(left) and one in a dark shade of Coyote Brown (right). They seem to have worked thus far.

 

ptn07.jpg

 

FINAL WORD

So, would I recommend the Peperami Tactical Noodles? In a word: yes. Effective, lightweight, quick and easy to deploy, and relatively cheap, these are the perfect companion for the modern-day soldier in the field.

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I'll pick some up in a month's time for review ;)

 

EDIT: American Ramen noodles, that is.

 

Also coming soon: A thorough review of the new HooAH! energy bars (and you think I'm kidding...).

 

(Runs into field being chased by Dafool and his Badger Cannon OO-ER! :blink: )

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I cooked some noodles in my hexi stove at Spectre, and for a brief moment was concerned that I'd start a brush fire in the camping area.

 

Despite Billy & Jimmy Mak's consternations ("The water isn't hot enough," "You'll need a lid to keep the heat in"), I managed to produced an edible meal in under 10 minutes, though the lack of soy sauce was regrettable.

 

I did also have a pack of Peperamis on my person, though I decided against combining the two as it would have required a chopping board and a sharp knife.

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LOL, great review... even though it borders on insanity :D

 

Particularly liked the 'Tactical Tesco cookies' - truly inspired :D:rofl:

 

Maybe we need a review of the tactical use of SPT Pyrokenesis in airsofting? :D :D :D

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  • 3 weeks later...

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