Jump to content

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

R22Master

Telemarketers

Recommended Posts

I you really want to mess them up try this(if your in the UK). bookmark a site called B4U search.com which has a handy find people service. When you get the call they always give you their name all you need to do then is find where they are (approximate Town location they will tell you this to try to get chatty with you before the hard sell) put this into B4Usearch

 

This will then give you there home address the name of any adults at the same address. this is also linked into an auto route type thing. You then start telling them what their personal details are such as post code. Then tell them how to get to their own home at this point they think bugger this and promtly hang up its freaky but fun. :)

 

P.S i your really lucky it will also give some of the websites they visit regularly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I love It when telemarketers phone me I always try to sell them a car or a motor bike while they are trying to interest me in something or another just keep talking over them get a pit pushy and they get really frustrated and hang up they soon learn their lesson.

 

ah im not alone, i tried selling them 44 pounds of roofing nails :)

 

and there were those times my house became a chinese restaurant....

 

I'm sorry sir? mam?

YU WANT FRY RY!?!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm...

A while ago, we had one on the line- 5 people went to the phone and started singing 'Magical Trevor' (Clicky) to the operator. Afterwards, we just hung up- however, the phone started ringing immediately after that- the person wanted an encore.

The person holding the phone simply hung up and walked away, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I don't recognise the number or its withheld I always do my best to answer with "Welcome to the house of pleasure and pain, how may I dominate you. Tonights offer is 2 midgets, wax and some chains for £90." Normally gets them off pretty quick.

 

When I worked in a call centre (boo hiss) I dealt with inbound calls. It was a small office and I was doing night shifts we used to get this real racist guy who didn't like to talk to me cause I'm from Northern Ireland. But our whole team was from Northern Ireland so he used to get pretty nasty to us. One night after a particularly abusive call I found an avid merrion site with a load of vox-pops. I downloaded them and waited for the call. When it finally came through I answered as normal and would play the vox pops continually until he hung. This went on all night and in the day he complained. However because he was a repeat caller the company did nothing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just yesterday i got an offer for some free power tools over the phone. I started speaking cantonese but THE DUDE RESPONDED IN CANTONESE. I then spoke english but HE SPOKE ENGLISH BACK. Then i tried my very limited spanish but he again, responded back, IN SPANISH. I was like wtf. Then i just logged onto ebaumsworld really fast and went onto the Sergent Heartman soundboard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Usually before they have a chance to say anything I yell,

 

"I'm going to tie you up and eat your children in front of you."

 

Then hang up.

 

usually gets the job done :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had someone asking me if I wanted to sell the flat I lived in!

 

I went along with it even though I am only a tennant so I always reffered to it as this flat or this property as opposed to my flat.

 

At the end the guy said that the information I had given him sounded like they could sell it for around 120k, but they would need to come and have a look!

 

My response was "That's wicked cause I don't even own it!"

 

There was proptly a dial tone restored on my phone line

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lmao! lots of great tips but i think i use mine the most.

 

Get the Soundboard from that kool film Phone Booth. I start by quickly loading it up as soon as they call and then while they're describing the thing they want to offer you (normaly some stupid flip cell phone with cameras and god knows what else) you just click yes to lead them into it. When they ask you for a postal code i usually put on...

 

"im aiming at you right now"

 

They're reply is typically excuse me? then i say "if you hang up i will kill you"

 

Then following that i put on the weapon talk

 

"i have a highly magnified telescopic image of you"

"now what kind of device has a telescopic sight mounted on it"

"a .30 caliber bolt action 700 with a carbon modification and a state of the art tactical scope and its staring straight at you"

 

Then i click sound of the cocking of the weapon at the end which makes them either hang up or get really scared then once more il say if you hang up il kill you. Try doing this with your friends without laughing, its hard

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

heh i work for bt so i find this extremely funny. whats more funny is that because of bt these telemarketing people have less and less people to call due to a little service called the telephone preference scheme which makes it illegal for them to call you. then all you need to do is say that what they are doing is illegal and listein to then ###### themselves :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I am on TPS for both my home phone and mobile and it rocks!!

 

Check it out here!

 

I love it when they phone my first words are which company do you represent?

 

Hehe :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If I don't recognise the number or its withheld I always do my best to answer with "Welcome to the house of pleasure and pain, how may I dominate you.  Tonights offer is 2 midgets, wax and some chains for £90."  Normally gets them off pretty quick.

That last sentence there really needs to be rewritten given the context of the sentence directly before it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh yeah they've still been making Transformers all these years with different factions and editions and stuff, funny how these things pass one by.

 

I haven't had a telebulls**tter call for a coupla days now, next one in gets to hear about my fictitious anal warts in horrific detail methinks :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just got the strangest one:

 

Irish voice:

 

Hi! I'm from 'speakingtofasttocatchthisbit'.

 

How long have you had a kitchen in your house?

My reply: I lectured him on how most houses have kitchens in them, then told him that he's not going to get any one with a question like that. I then hung up :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lmao! lots of great tips but i think i use mine the most.

 

Get the Soundboard from that kool film Phone Booth. I start by quickly loading it up as soon as they call and then while they're describing the thing they want to offer you (normaly some stupid flip cell phone with cameras and god knows what else) you just click yes to lead them into it. When they ask you for a postal code i usually put on...

 

"im aiming at you right now"

 

They're reply is typically excuse me? then i say "if you hang up i will kill you"

 

Then following that i put on the weapon talk

 

"i have a highly magnified telescopic image of you"

"now what kind of device has a telescopic sight mounted on it"

"a .30 caliber bolt action 700 with a carbon modification and a state of the art tactical scope and its staring straight at you"

 

Then i click sound of the cocking of the weapon at the end which makes them either hang up or get really scared then once more il say if you hang up il kill you. Try doing this with your friends without laughing, its hard

 

Big tony: get a sound recording of that please!, it'll make my day. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lmao! lots of great tips but i think i use mine the most.

 

Get the Soundboard from that kool film Phone Booth. I start by quickly loading it up as soon as they call and then while they're describing the thing they want to offer you (normaly some stupid flip cell phone with cameras and god knows what else) you just click yes to lead them into it. When they ask you for a postal code i usually put on...

 

"im aiming at you right now"

 

They're reply is typically excuse me? then i say "if you hang up i will kill you"

 

Then following that i put on the weapon talk

 

"i have a highly magnified telescopic image of you"

"now what kind of device has a telescopic sight mounted on it"

"a .30 caliber bolt action 700 with a carbon modification and a state of the art tactical scope and its staring straight at you"

 

Then i click sound of the cocking of the weapon at the end which makes them either hang up or get really scared then once more il say if you hang up il kill you. Try doing this with your friends without laughing, its hard

 

 

Erm, .. not to be a *beep* about that idea but:

 

It's a surefire way of messing someone up big time, .. plus due to gun paranoia in this country, .. your more than likely gonna get raided.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Erm, .. not to be a *beep* about that idea but:

 

It's a surefire way of messing someone up big time, .. plus due to gun paranoia in this country, .. your more than likely gonna get raided.

 

Bah i dont think some slameal in india's gonna care about someone living in england that wants to kill him. I just had one on the phone before i posted this. It lasted 7mins and in the end he was saying about why i wanted to kill him.

 

So i just clicked on the sound of the weapon cocking and he was gone. Pfft they must be stupid if they cant tell between the british and american accent.

 

I had a lovely girl phone me the other day offering me a new kitchen so i put on the Leslie Neilsen soundboard "ive been swimming in raw sewage.........i LOVE IT"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

we get them ringing up all the time if its female ask if you can play with yourself while she talks

not tried it yet but its bound to make her put the phone down

 

 

if they ring my cell and the numbers withheld or not known i usually awnser with

Ashleys Crematorium you kill em and we'll grill em

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and the use of session cookies.