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R22Master

Telemarketers

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one of these days one of these Telemarketers are gonna phone me up and all i'm gonna end up doing is screaming down the phone "RED SAUCE ON PAAAASSSSSTTTTAAAAAA!!!!!!" and then hang up ;)

 

Lol, that'll be a good one :D

 

I mostly get real people where I am, especially for political calls. I only get prerecorded messages when it's something like a product being advertised.

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One of our phones at work has the same number as a pizza company if you reverse two digits.

 

My favorite is to take all the details of their order, ask them to confirm that is all they want, then tell them as they are our 1000th customer this month, their pizza is free, remeber to tell the driver that!. I then then phone their order through correctly. One day I'm gonna go round to an someone who I do this to and watch the fire works. :D

 

With telemarketers I make them feel they are about to enter a hitchcock movie.

 

Them : hello sir can I interest you in double glazing ......etc

 

Me. Hang on, double glazing. .....double glazing.... ( while thumbing through a phone book ) ...... ok the response is the Eagle flys west at 0612.... Repeat the eagle flys west at 0612.

 

Then: Er... double glazing ...windows

 

Me: Oh ####!, ( to someone off phone ) its a code 21:19. You mean you really are trying to sell double glazing....####..... ####... Forget this number, forget this call and if you are a religous person start praying now!!!

 

and hang up :D

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I recall some guy posting here about how his friend who worked in telemarketing used to come home crying because of the abuse she received from irate people on the other end of the phone. In short, if your reaction does not drive the telemarketer to tears, you have failed.

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I got another one today, this time people advertising some kind of lawn care service. I stop the man half way thru his first sentance. It turns out I was in the middle of guitar practice, so I unplugged my headphones (that I use so I dont annoy the dormmates) cranked the amp and hit C. The guy tried to continue to talk and so I hit another few notes after placing the phone on speaker. He didnt seem to take a hint so I just started playing some Alter Bridge. Sad thing is he listened to it.... I hate telemarketers, the foiled my plan that time. He was on the line after I finished playing the intro to "Down to my Last"...

 

I had to tell him to stuff it the old fashioned way... <_<

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Back in Good Old Days, or maybe even today, with slight twist...

 

It could have been fun to respond to any telemarketers calls by reciting a long litany of numbers in dead monotonous voice, using Russian. These days, to get them scared one could use either chinese or arabic... Just some random numbers, like they'd have called to a numbers station.

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Reading through some of this, I almost feel sorry for the guy on the phone - I mean, he's just trying to do his job. Okay, it's a *beep* job and should be banned, but that's not his fault, he just needs to feed his kids (or his crack habit, either way)

 

 

Doesn't stop it being funny or stop me taking notes to use on the next guy who calls me trying to sell me something that I blatantly don't want.

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Reading through some of this, I almost feel sorry for the guy on the phone - I mean, he's just trying to do his job. Okay, it's a *beep* job and should be banned, but that's not his fault, he just needs to feed his kids (or his crack habit, either way)

 

 

Doesn't stop it being funny or stop me taking notes to use on the next guy who calls me trying to sell me something that I blatantly don't want.

 

Yeah, the only reason I push them around so much is because I think it's fun and I'm beligerant like that ;)

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Reading this makes me wish that I wasn't signed up on the do not call list here in the states. The most fun that we can have over here is by calling the customer service numbers on the back of snack foods.

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Consider yourself lucky, I'm on the do no call list and they still call the house!

 

Actually, same. They just spam my dorm I think is the problem.

 

I can't wait for the next batch of political calls... i've thought up some new material...

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Me yesterday

 

caller:"Hi this is talk talk calling, can I speak to Mr.smith please?"

 

Me: who did you say it was?

 

Caller: Its talk talk sir

 

Me: Ahhhhh f**k, I thought you where my ex-girlfriend, got really excited then, havent spoken to her for three years

 

Caller: No sorry sir it is talk talk, is Mr.Smith there

 

Me: See I always wait for her to call, Because I'm not allowed to call her anymore because of the silly little cat thing

 

Caller: sorry?

 

Me: Well....I kinda .....I was playing with it ......I didnt mean for its head to fall off, and the best place I could think to put it was on her bed. It didnt help that when I wiped the blood of my hands on her wall it somehow spelt "B***H"

 

Caller: Sir, we will call back at a better time *dial tone*

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I tell them yes I'm interested and let them do their spiel for a minute or so, then yell "OH MY GOD!" and hang up.

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My latest one from some overseas call center ran like this

 

ring ring

 

'hello, my name is blah blah sales pitch'

 

I cut across with 'Are you going to give me money?'

 

'What?'

 

Are you going to give me some mofo money?

 

'What? No, never!'

 

Then why ring me up Im busy?

 

'The reason is .'

 

Never mind all that sh*t mate send me some dollars to my paypal accont, yeah?

 

'What?'

 

DOLLARS, DOLLARS to my PAYPAL

 

'Ok thank you sir' Hangs up on me.

 

Its working well so far, the trick is to just cut straight across the pitch and start demanding money.

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Me yesterday

 

caller:"Hi this is talk talk calling, can I speak to Mr.smith please?"

 

Me: who did you say it was?

 

Caller: Its talk talk sir

 

Me: Ahhhhh f**k, I thought you where my ex-girlfriend, got really excited then, havent spoken to her for three years

 

Caller: No sorry sir it is talk talk, is Mr.Smith there

 

Me: See I always wait for her to call, Because I'm not allowed to call her anymore because of the silly little cat thing

 

Caller: sorry?

 

Me: Well....I kinda .....I was playing with it ......I didnt mean for its head to fall off, and the best place I could think to put it was on her bed. It didnt help that when I wiped the blood of my hands on her wall it somehow spelt "B***H"

 

Caller: Sir, we will call back at a better time *dial tone*

 

I'm sure that this really happened. We all believe you.

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one i use all the time with them is just carry on saying why to everything they say

the best one was someone rang up and said

woman:hello sir would you like faster broadband

me:why

Woman:so you can access information faster

me:why

woman:because ... some load of balls that makes no sense

me:why

woman:i just told you

me:why

woman:because you asked me to

me:why

woman:i dont know you just asked

me:why

woman:you were intrigued about our wireless

me:why

woman:im sorry sir i'm gonna have to call you some other time hangs up

 

genius

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I'm sure that this really happened. We all believe you.

 

 

Haha, say what you wish!!!

 

And who elected you voice of all of Arnies?

 

Speak for yourself unless you cannot get over your arogance that makes you belive you opinion applies to all.

 

 

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