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HappyHunter

Things not to say to a cop

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I swear to drunk I'm not...oh wait, 3 people said it already. :P

I like the idea of giving the cop a little exercise. The whole time they're writing your ticket, cruise along at about 1 mile per hour. Just enough to make them shift or walk a little every couple seconds.

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Yeah, hippehater's got my drift. Things not to DO when Police are around:

Pretend to shoplift something, making sure they see you do it. Get caught. Get public apology. :P

Buy a dozen doughnuts. Eat whilst looking at them with a "Want it? Well, you can't have it!" look.(~I've actually done this number. Funny as hell; depending on what kinda cop you get.)

Wear a shirt that says:"Micheal Kalashnakov Fan Klub". Act a little nutters. Have a way-too-loud conversation about how easy it could be to, I dunno, start a riot or something; be creative. Watch cop watch you, looking nervous with a hand tickling his holster.

In a police lineup:

Point to the guy next to you.

If you can, sweat an outrageous amount.

Start singing random songs. ("...Dust in the winnnd...All we are is...")

Start tap-dancing; or better yet: River dancing!

Run in place./Do jumping jacks.

Pretend your insane. Be creative here. (I like to talk in a reall evil voice. That really aloof creepy kind.)

Well, 11:00pm here, now. I'm off.

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Things not to say or do to a cop in the spirit of Star Wars:

 

Wave your hand in front of the cop that pulled you over and say "This isn't the speeding car you're after."

 

Try to Force-choke him.

 

Pretend to talk like a wookie.

 

When he tells you your speed, say, "You call (insert speed) speeding? This baby can make 0.5 Warp!"

 

Narrow your eyes and speak in a deep and creepy voice, "Execute Order Sixty-Six."

 

As he has you step out of the car, take an extending lightsaber toy and start hitting him with it while making the lightsaber sound effects.

 

"Man, what is it with you clone troopers and giving tickets? Don't you have rebel scum to be beating up?"

 

Act all impatiant and say "Can you hurry this up? I have a pod-race to bet on!"

 

Act ###### and say "Oh, that does it! If I become a Sith, you're gonna be the first person I kill!"

 

That's all I can think of for now.

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Me: "Dude you can't search my car! You need a warrant even if I WAS packing a butt-load of pot in the truck next the illegally obtained speaker system and the M60 I stole from a local military base."

Officer: "Um...I never said I was going to to do any of that..."

 

IIRC, they don't need a warrant to search your car. They'll ask, and you can say no even if you aren't hiding anything.

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Things I've actually said to a cop:

 

Cop: License and registration, sir.

Me: How about you get the registration, it's in the glovebox under my .45 and I don't think you want me reaching in there.

 

 

Best one of the whole post.

 

My own suggestions would be not to get out of the car and start dancing to their lights, thinking you've mad it to another club.

 

Also, don't get high on LSD and go driving. When the cops pull you, you'll see him aproach in your wing mirror and will think he is actually only 3 inches tall. You'll wonder how such a little cop drives such a big car and entertain the notion of putting him in a jam jar and driving away. Cops also don't appreciate fish driving cars...

 

Ah Bill... thanks man.

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Best one of the whole post.

 

My own suggestions would be not to get out of the car and start dancing to their lights, thinking you've mad it to another club.

 

Also, don't get high on LSD and go driving. When the cops pull you, you'll see him aproach in your wing mirror and will think he is actually only 3 inches tall. You'll wonder how such a little cop drives such a big car and entertain the notion of putting him in a jam jar and driving away. Cops also don't appreciate fish driving cars...

 

Ah Bill... thanks man.

 

my ribs hurt from teh pain

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:D  Ahahaha!  This am funnI thr34I) !!!!11

(^Ye4k, I hav3 m4d l33t hax0r sh!lIs anc/ l450r v!sl0n!!!!!11)

^If anyone can tell me what I just said...I'll let you try out my Star L85! :)

                                      Cheers, Matthew

"Yeah, I have mad leet (elite) haxor (hacker) skills and lasor (laser) vision!"

All your star L85 are belong to me.

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Then the cop, not seeing they are sausages, puts a couple of rounds into your head. :o

 

N00b! Everyone knows the Royal Marines frame any cracker they've jizzed on, and include a certificate of authenticity signed by the Queen's favorite fishmonger.

 

:zorro:

 

I feel so ashamed. :D

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here is a good one not to say..

 

 

officer i no i was doing 105 in a 45. but i am running from my neihbor...

cop: why

you: i stole his 50lbs of meth and his illegal machine guns!

cop: WHAT!?

you: well he owed me 3 grand for some dope....

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