My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

[amateurstuntman]

*fruitcage* it, more misery from me.

 

I got married on rememberance Sunday. That was a great day (no jokes yet about marriage being miserable)...

 

Wife had a miscarriage on our honeymoon. We didn't know she was pregnant until 2 weeks before the wedding, so it's gone from ecstatic highs to crashing lows.

 

 

You have my deepest sympathies, I sincerely hope that you are able to move on and leave this behind.

 

 

 

 

*snip*

 

I find the recent lack of microSD slots on flagship phones disturbing--yes, there's USB OTG,

 

*CHOP*

 

 

No such luck.

The chip that controls an SD card slot in a phone is a USB host controller.

The phone companies cheap out by not putting one in the phone, however, if there is no USB host controller that means:

 

1, You can't have an SD card slot.

2, The phone won't support USB On The Go, (OTG).

3, The phone won't be able to be mounted as an external hard drive, you have to use poxy proprietary drivers and MTP/PTP which are utter ######.

4, You don't buy the damn thing. Ever.

 

If we (the power users) refuse to buy a phone without these features then the pressure of demand will mean that manufacturers have to build them.

If we cave then they have no reason to and will win.

[FireKnife]

If we cave then they have no reason to and will win.

 

This, in all cases it is people buying the flawed tech, often those with little desire to use it though so they deal with it.

 

If it was just the main power users tech would move along to keep up with demand but hey if scores of hippies, students and general sheep keep buying the flawed iPad, then they will keep coming out flawed and we will never advance at the rate we could.

 

I hate to say this but we need another big war, tech moves about three times faster in times of conflict and seeing as the US military is always trying to use the cutting edge of kit it would help speed stuff along (oh and to those that don't believe me, do a little background into WW2, the birth of the internet during the Cold War and the advent of modern computing power both during and after a war).

 

 

'FireKnife'

[shmook]

Thanks guys, no offence taken fireknife, but the wife is devastated. We both are, but it's hit her badly. First pregnancy, her clock is ticking (she's 31 and panicking - for no reason), and several friends have announced pregnancies in the last few weeks which doesn't help.

 

It will be a few weeks before we can start trying again according to our doctor.

 

Hopefully she will feel better soon, as her body is dumping hormones left, right and centre at the moment...

[FireKnife]

I am not suprised that she is devastated, though at 31 look on the bright side it isn't like you don't have another chance, or another hundred possible chances for that matter.

 

Again, not meaning to make this sound bad but you have been told that it is a possibility and not that you are say firing blanks etc (worse to have no chance at the end of the day).

 

Still I send both of you my regards, while I doubt I will bother with having children there are those out there that it really does add to their lives and deserve to have them, unlike many others that keep dropping them left, right and centre.

 

'FireKnife'

[Cannonfodder80]

I won't post my petty bitching now as I wouldn't feel right following your post Shmook. Hope you can both move on soon

[shmook]

Don't worry about that cannonfodder, it's not a shmook whining thread, it's for everyone! Although I have posted a couple of corkers recently...

 

fireknife,know there's plenty of chances left at her age, but women seem to start to panic after 30. Also, as you said, at least we know we can, and are so lucky in that respect. We shall just have to keep trying.

Thanks for the thoughts everyone, I'll leave it now so others can *badgeress*, and also to not rub it in for people who have different situations. Hope I didn't upset anyone by bringing it up

[FireKnife]

I don't think you would upset anyone by bringing it up, but it will earn you the respect of others that you are honest about it all .

 

That is true about the panicking though, seeing as it is often the 35-45 year olds that have the drastic drop in productivity as it were. Still 31 is at least another 2-3 potential children (assuming a couple of months rest and to try again in between each one) before any drop in potential. Depends how many you want to fill the house with .

 

As for the general user whining, we seem to be getting quite a few first world problems on here from some, we really need an arrogant African orphan from a very poor area with access to the internet just so we can hear some real issues (I must admit have added a few myself).

 

'FireKnife'

[my_plague_666]

So it's not only Sony that's retarded to put out phones that don't have a SD card slot?

 

oddly enough sony's new xperia T does have a micro SD slot, as well as 16GB internal memory and a sensible form factor. in fact, apart from the underwhelming processor and rather OTT price it would fit my requirements perfectly.

[Tinkerton]

Shmook: deepest condolences, however dont let it put a damper one the start of your married life.

 

First world problems: Wife is having a tough time at Uni with all the kids fresh from 6th form being total utter lazy bitches and not doing anything to help with the group work they have to do.

 

Also they're bullying her: taking the ###### out of her accent (we both come from norfolk, but have a rather 'bbc news reader'-esque accent) and being generally horrible.

 

I've been forbidden from braking their legs.

 

 

 

Also i'm struggling with a personal choice atm, i'm completely not sure if i should seriously consider joining the TA. Wife has said she'd support me if i chose to do it, but tbh i'm unsure that its right for me, yet at the same time i feel like it is...

[scorch]

I had issues at college with people on my course trying to score help with things and taking the ###### because I was older.

 

I helped one of them one time by showing him what kind of thing was expected for the distinction grade and he plagiarised it almost word for word. Didn't help anyone after that.

[shmook]

I don't think you would upset anyone by bringing it up, but it will earn you the respect of others that you are honest about it all .

 

That is true about the panicking though, seeing as it is often the 35-45 year olds that have the drastic drop in productivity as it were. Still 31 is at least another 2-3 potential children (assuming a couple of months rest and to try again in between each one) before any drop in potential. Depends how many you want to fill the house with .

 

As for the general user whining, we seem to be getting quite a few first world problems on here from some, we really need an arrogant African orphan from a very poor area with access to the internet just so we can hear some real issues (I must admit have added a few myself).

 

'FireKnife'

 

I know we are good for time, I just need to reassure her. One would be a blessing, any more would be great!

 

I noticed a few first world problems in here, not been on much for a bit, so thought I would be a miserable sod and give a sob story. But I am sick of arrogant orphans bleating on about their issues on airsoft forums, so I'm glad there's a lull in that

 

Also, thanks tink

[johny_blaze]

Shmook, just be there for her right now and help and support her any way you can. Pretty much the same thing happend to me and my wife begining of last year except we already new she was pregnant which made it even more devastating for her and in adition the whole expirience was horrific - she woke up bleeding one morning. We rushed to the hospital were we left to wait for an hour for a doctor to check her who treated her like *suitcase* telling her stuff like she was an idiot to cry for a miscarage in the sixth week and she was wasting her time, then after they took her for the medical procedures they sedated her and after that just dumped her alone in a room, when she phoned me she was still dizzy didn't know what was happaning and could find even a nurse. She could only tell me the number of her room and when i tried to go to her the idiots at the reception at first refused to let me in as it "was 40 minutes more till viziting hours"!

After that she was crying all the time and wouldn't leave the bed for some time but we managed to get trough it and a couple of months later we found out she was pregnant again and now...

[scorch]

I *fruitcage* love this forum.

 

Seriously.

[shmook]

So do I. Johnny, that's amazing. Not the treatment, i mean you sharing your story.

 

We were around 6 weeks too, just over, but the doc was great. No hospital, but she/we knew it was a miscarriage on the Wednesday night. I think we will be ok, as we we only started trying after my dads funeral. We were going to wait until we had moved into our new house and got married, but my dad died and we thought *badger*s, why wait?

 

4 weeks later and she's pregnant. We are really lucky, so hopefully in a couple of months we will be there again.

 

I've never met anyone here, and it's like talking to some of my best pals in the pub here. The support and banter makes this forum amazing

[amateurstuntman]

That's great, I'm happy for you and I hope everyone understands where this is coming from but:

 

My wife and I have been going through this for 5 years and hope is the worst thing that we could have.

 

You need to be honest with yourselves. That thing where women start to panic at 30, it doesn't come from nowhere.

Your chances of conceiving drop dramatically as you get into your 30s.

 

You have to consider what caused the miscarriage, it could be nothing (only 50% of pregnancies go full term [that stat includes voluntary and involuntary terminations, I couldn't find the miscarriage stats]) but it could be something. If she didn't know she was pregnant she could have been doing a lot of things that pregnant women are advised not to do.

 

My wife and I are infertile but for no reason that can be measured, there is nothing wrong with either of us but we can't have kids.

The best anyone could do is that we might be genetically compatible, we have had several early-term miscarriages and it seems that we just produce a lot of inviable embryos.

 

The problem is the feedback loop, every time it happens you get stress and pressure, stress and pressure have a negative impact on fertility, it happens again.

 

Getting pregnant is not as easy as the troglodytes on Jeremy Kyle's show would have you believe, generally speaking a healthy couple in their 20s will need to hit the fertile sweet spot (2 days but can be as low as an hour in some individuals) on 10 occasions to conceive.

Or, rather, if you hit it you have a one in ten chance of success.

 

Age, stress, previous miscarriages and underlying physiological issues will all have a negative impact on that chance.

 

I guess what I am saying is this:

 

Don't think about it, relax, live your lives, have sex when you feel like it.

Focus on your own happiness, do things for yourselves, make your life around the two of you.

 

Then, if you get pregnant - all is good.

 

My wife an I naively assumed we would conceive as soon as she came off the pill (whole can of worms there, if your wife was ever on the pill you should look into that, no space here for that).

We were wrong and it has taken 5 years for me to accept that in all probability it isn't going to happen.

 

My wife can't accept that and she still holds out hope.

 

Crushing hope that strikes another blow to her every time her period starts.

 

I don't know how much more we can take really. Don't let yourself get into that situation.

 

Put this behind yourselves, live your lives, be happy with what you have and expect nothing more.

[FireKnife]

Also they're bullying her: taking the ###### out of her accent (we both come from norfolk, but have a rather 'bbc news reader'-esque accent) and being generally horrible.

 

Try going up to Aberdeen where they speak part Scottish, part random European accent and part local accent that I swear sounds the same as a person with special needs and then see how you fit in when you have a relatively well spoken accent, especially as this is also a very xenophobic part of the UK where they even think people from the central belt of Scotland are alien to them. I so can't wait to leave .

 

I had issues at college with people on my course trying to score help with things and taking the ###### because I was older.

 

I helped one of them one time by showing him what kind of thing was expected for the distinction grade and he plagiarised it almost word for word. Didn't help anyone after that.

 

My motto, never helps those that are stupid enough not to help themselves, they have a place in life as we all do and need to realise what it is .

 

I *fruitcage* love this forum.

 

Seriously.

 

Same, on other ones you would just get *suitcase* and abuse.

 

So do I. Johnny, that's amazing. Not the treatment, i mean you sharing your story.

 

Agreed. But still Shmook, good luck and well seeing as we should always look at the positives, congratulations on getting married and getting everything else in life sorted with you and the new wife.

 

My wife can't accept that and she still holds out hope.

 

But Stunt, is not hope what drives people to try, as much as I see exactly were you are coming from. I know family members that have been told, time and time again that it is not likely they will conceive and have children yet they struggle on. It does in some cases come down to luck, but not having a little faith in that luck can be the downfall for some. Though really I can't comment as one I have yet to be in the exact same position and two I prefer to be on the side of me not having children, but I am sure some solution could be found, just put hope and faith in it, but at the same time balance it out with acceptance coupled with the desire to start again. Each time you view a failure as a failure it only makes it worse, but if you view it as a potential for a new success that is what can drive people to overcome a lot.

 

Still in the case of anyone that wants children, and moreover will bring them into a loving family that deserves them I would always wish them the best of luck, not put them down.

 

'FireKnife'

[amateurstuntman]

I agree with the gist of what you are saying but I cannot agree in whole.

 

I do not believe in luck, there is no such thing. I believe in probability which can be interpreted by us poor weak superstitious humans as luck.

 

Hope can be extremely harmful, faith even more so.

 

My wife and I have compatibility issues, we have the usual 1 in 10 chance multiplied by an unknown constant (estimated to be in the 1 in 100 range) to give us our chance to conceive.

On top of that we have a further unknown chance to loose the baby in early term, so far 0 for 4.

 

That means that, assuming we hit the fertility sweet spot we have a 1:10 * 1:100 * 1:5 (minimum) chance of success. 1:5000 or a probability of 0.0002 max.

 

That probability remains the same for each time. I understand that. I don't build up expectations.

 

My wife wrongly thinks that each failed attempt increases the probability that the subsequent attempt will succeed. It does not.

 

We fight when I try to explain it to her, I struggle with emotion and in stressful situations I fall back to logic which angers her further,

 

 

Faith and hope add an imaginary modifier to the equation, a probability of 0.0002 multiplied by god's will or fate or luck or "it's our turn" or "we're good people" or any other emotional crutch add up to 1 right?

It has to be this time.

 

Then bitter disappointment, blaming herself, blaming me, blaming medicine, blaming science, blaming mathematics.

 

She goes to a fraud (she calls her a psychic) who says she sees children in our lives, children called Jack and Scarlett.

She even gave her the years of their births, then, as those dates cam and went she kept going back and being fed ###### excuses.

 

She buys the lies every time. Due to hope and faith.

 

 

Don't tell me hope and faith are forces for good, they do more harm than good.

[FireKnife]

I agree with the gist of what you are saying but I cannot agree in whole.

 

I do not believe in luck, there is no such thing. I believe in probability which can be interpreted by us poor weak superstitious humans as luck.

 

Hope can be extremely harmful, faith even more so.

 

My wife and I have compatibility issues, we have the usual 1 in 10 chance multiplied by an unknown constant (estimated to be in the 1 in 100 range) to give us our chance to conceive.

On top of that we have a further unknown chance to loose the baby in early term, so far 0 for 4.

 

That means that, assuming we hit the fertility sweet spot we have a 1:10 * 1:100 * 1:5 (minimum) chance of success. 1:5000 or a probability of 0.0002 max.

 

That probability remains the same for each time. I understand that. I don't build up expectations.

 

My wife wrongly thinks that each failed attempt increases the probability that the subsequent attempt will succeed. It does not.

 

We fight when I try to explain it to her, I struggle with emotion and in stressful situations I fall back to logic which angers her further,

 

 

Faith and hope add an imaginary modifier to the equation, a probability of 0.0002 multiplied by god's will or fate or luck or "it's our turn" or "we're good people" or any other emotional crutch add up to 1 right?

It has to be this time.

 

Then bitter disappointment, blaming herself, blaming me, blaming medicine, blaming science, blaming mathematics.

 

She goes to a fraud (she calls her a psychic) who says she sees children in our lives, children called Jack and Scarlett.

She even gave her the years of their births, then, as those dates cam and went she kept going back and being fed ###### excuses.

 

She buys the lies every time. Due to hope and faith.

 

Don't tell me hope and faith are forces for good, they do more harm than good.

 

I can see exactly where you are coming from and mine was more a general comment, rather than a specifically aimed one. I too often run things down as being chance and probability, but I have done enough things in my life that would it not have been somewhat swayed by a bit of luck would have gone very differently. Probability is the right way to look at for someone like yourself but I feel that luck is seeing probability as 'on your side' no matter how unlikely an event can seem, you still accept probability exists, but you know that a positive outcome is a possibility. In that case of going to a psychic though, sorry to say but that is one thing that angers me, people that put faith in such things worries me that we as human beings are not moving on from the rubbish we used to accept, no offence meant but it does to me feel the same as those that peddle religion to make money and those poor unfortunates that fall for it. It is just sweet words that change nothing, except the amount in your wallet.

 

At the end of the day, if you can accept what hand is dealt you, then you will get on better with life, but you can't always think that a little change may occur and make a big difference. Just don't use the concept of psychics and such or let the rage get to you, in either case. It is just a case of balancing hope and they way you deal with rejection. Me, I think I am lucky in that I can take both in stride and can use this to talk openly with others about things they want to talk about, but the missus has issues with things like this which means we do end up with times that our positive and negative attitudes clash, as it can make me seem quite non-chalant about issues, like what is going to happen if she moves away and I don't get a job near her, my answer is go our seperate ways and enjoy what we had, she doesn't see it that way and doesn't get how I can be so blase about it.

 

'FireKnife'

[Baddbaz]

As a father of 4 children all I can add to this is the more stressed you get from trying the more it affects the body's dynamics and fertility chances ,

Also tick and cross all the medical factors , twice if need be

My first Missus , after our first baby had 4 miscarriages which I forget the medical term for , where she carried long term and then miscarried , was told by doctors not to bother trying anymore !

Changed area and hospital after a move , and got a new surgeon / midwife who reccomended she had a DNA scrape as their may be tissue left on her womb after the miscarriages , she had this done and lo and behold had two more children with me ,

I am 47 and thought I was past it !!!

And have just had a baby son with my new partner ,so age is not a factor as far as I am concerned , smoking , stress , money worries, and a bad lifestyle, diet , are the cons you have to minimise ,

Just live life for each other and be happy as you are and then the worry and stresses of life will reduce and then you will probably find it just happens

And when it does you will have stress and worries on a whole new level to deal with !!

Whoever said life is easy was lying through their teeth or only had themselves to worry about !!!!

Good luck fella and I hope it happens for you !

 

[Mike_West]

My favorite pizza joint apparently folded, another one crashed its only delivery vehicle and so I had to get kebab yesterday instead.

Also, I can't get enough sleep lately.

[FireKnife]

My favorite pizza joint apparently folded, another one crashed its only delivery vehicle and so I had to get kebab yesterday instead.

Also, I can't get enough sleep lately.

 

First world issues eh?

 

Seriously I think that all that exists by me are cheap takeaways and an Iceland as that is all I keep seeing. It really is annoying though that all of them are sub-par.

 

Only decent one is a few miles away, oh woe is me

 

'FireKnife'

[Mike_West]

Hey, that pizza joint was cheap and offered a 23" caliber pizza for 8 quid! That didn't even taste like cardboard!

[FireKnife]

What is a caliber pizza? Or can you order .45ACPs on a pizza now?

 

Too bad all the ones here are expensive or made of fluff.

 

'FireKnife'

[Mike_West]

What is a caliber pizza? Or can you order .45ACPs on a pizza now?

Nah, I meant it was 23" in diameter, when 16" is usually the biggest you can get (or, worse, 12" in the expensive ones).

[FireKnife]

Come here and try the Beast.

 

It is 50cm by 45cm of square shaped win, so more pizza and if you have the Sampler, every two slices are different, two each of the top twelve flavours.

 

Failing that get the Rocky Mountain High, which is every single topping on one pizza, the lot, all the meat, fish, veg and what nots on one pizza. .

 

I stick with my Dominos usual, a Pepperoni Passion, with added bacon, peppers and spicy beef on a bed of BBQ sauce and not special tomato. Oh and a BBQ dip, none of this wussy Garlic and Herb jizz for me .

 

'FireKnife'