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My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!


Sledge

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I got:- 'This paste has been removed', when I clicked on the second link, and can't read all of the first link, due to not being a subscriber . . .

 

damn I suck. below for those that care (I didn't want to fill up the thread)

 

 

When women go out for the night, they drink wine and chat and chat. Women tell each other genuine things about their actual lives. Jobs. Kids. Friends. Men. Jen and Eric are only having sex twice a month. Sarah and Bob have started counselling. Sue and Alfredo are building a sex dungeon. Everything.

Men aren’t like this. Men do banter. We moan about work/life balance. We ramble on about football or rugby or football. Grown men don’t cry, and they certainly don’t babble on about personal stuff.

Online, women have Mumsnet — the online forum for people who have procreated and ended up as an army of terrifying, multitasking mums capable of changing government policy while talking about penis beakers. There is no male equivalent of Mumsnet. Or there wasn’t, but there is now.

It is called pistonheads.com, and is, as the name suggests, about cars. At first glance, it comprises a lot of men talking about cars in excruciating detail; 3,246 men debating the best oil to put in a diesel engine, for example. But delve deeper and a brave new world of man-to-man communication is revealed. “Does everybody between 25 and 40 seem to have this silly beard (not designer stubble) look going on?” asks CoolChris, without once mentioning a car. “Do the guys think they look more manly or something?”

“I’ve had a beard since 1967,” replies RileyBlue. “I’m not about to shave it off now.”

“I quite like growing a beard every so often,” says THX. “It’s no great fashion statement. Does your skin the world of good too.”

Meanwhile, in the Health Matters section, Martyn123 is sharing his gallstones, Mtech25 is sharing his brother’s hair transplant, and UncleRic is sharing the contents of his 13-day-old daughter’s nappy. “She’s breastfed in entirety (not by me, you fools),” he writes, attaching a photograph of a nappy that looks like it’s been dipped in chicken korma. “Is this normal? If not, could it be anything to do with the antibiotics the Mrs is on?”

It gets even stranger. R6VED wants to know what terrible things people have managed to forgive. A swathe of heartfelt posts follow. One has forgiven his dad for dying without saying goodbye. Another has forgiven his dad for ruining his childhood. Another has managed to forgive his ex-wife and his ex-best friend for getting together. There are pages and pages of men discussing mental-health issues in an open and honest way. One thread on stress is almost as long as the thread on embarrassing personalised number plates.

Finally, there is a forum on pets. There is a man posting pictures of his new kittens, and there are rescued hedgehogs, fighting gerbils and 1,932 pictures of pet dogs. The conclusion we can draw is that men like talking about their pets. The other conclusion is that men like talking about everything. We can share. We can empathise. We can be supportive. Of course, we can only do all this anonymously. It will be a while before this spreads to the pub. Thank goodness.

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I hate giving directions to old people who still use old road designations or defunct company names as references.

 

 

Seriously, if you won't join us in the 21st century and use Google maps or a satnav, you should at least have the common decency to buy a *fruitcage* map.

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I hate giving directions full stop.

 

I get asked at work all the time. I work in a *suitcase* hole 'tourist' town popular with stag and hen parties.

 

"'Scuse me mate, where's my hotel?"

 

Me; "what's it called?"

 

"Dunno, can't remember."

 

Me; "well, what road is it on?"

 

"Err, dunno." Shouts to a mate who doesn't know either.

 

Me "well, if you're too stupid to remember where you're staying then theres nothing I can do, now bugger off."

 

"*fruitcage*IN HELL MATE I WAS ONLY ASKING. I FOUGHT COPS WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP PEOPLE".

 

Me "swear at me again and I'll find you a different hotel and even give you a lift there. Do one."

 

Wankers.

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I've seen that tv show. I don't envy you.

I'd be done for police brutality doing your job faced with the muppets you get up there.

It's frightening the amount of restraint you need sometimes.

 

I seem to be ok though. I'm a stroppy sod usually, and worried before I joined that I would just end up lamping people quite a lot. Turns out though that it's actually made me more mellow.

 

Who knew?!!

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I work the doors at nightclubs and woooosah moments are a regular occurance for us guys , I am sure that half the people I have to deal with were starved of oxygen somewhere in their brain development stages of life !!!!

Drunk people are *rickrolls*.

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