scorch Posted March 31, 2015 Report Share Posted March 31, 2015 Good news, your auntie Susan just got a new job. Now you've got an in.My aunt Susan hasn't worked since '91 when she started burning through my uncle Peter's pensions. Humans are natural killers. My little sister, at the age of 2, threw a pint glass at my head. Just to see what would happen. Link to post Share on other sites
hitmanNo2 Posted March 31, 2015 Report Share Posted March 31, 2015 Makings of a scientist right there. Or perhaps a sociopath. I'm not sure. Link to post Share on other sites
paranoiddroid Posted March 31, 2015 Report Share Posted March 31, 2015 Children are naturally inquisitive and they are vicious little bastards. I mean look at some of the *suitcase* we did or witmessed at school. I.saw a kid trap a member of staff between a pair of gas taps he had turned on and set alIght. Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted March 31, 2015 Report Share Posted March 31, 2015 I know kids can be *suitcases* It was the calculated way he did it that surprised me. Full strength too. Best hide the keys to the gunsafe in a better place... Link to post Share on other sites
Lowprofile Posted April 1, 2015 Report Share Posted April 1, 2015 That's actually quite creepy, no offence meant of course, but that really is creepy Link to post Share on other sites
paranoiddroid Posted April 1, 2015 Report Share Posted April 1, 2015 Which bit the neck break or the burning gas taps. God I feel like *suitcase*, in pain either not sleeping or sleeping too much. Shaking, dizzy spells and generally feeling *suitcase*. Link to post Share on other sites
Cannonfodder80 Posted April 1, 2015 Report Share Posted April 1, 2015 My boy has clearly decided he wants to be an only child as he likes to use me as a climbing frame and has an unnatural ability to kick or stamp on my balls without looking, laughing the whole time Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted April 1, 2015 Report Share Posted April 1, 2015 Snap. They are experts at ball-hoofing. That and the perfect nose headbutt. Link to post Share on other sites
scorch Posted April 1, 2015 Report Share Posted April 1, 2015 Nozzle on my XDM is cracked. *fruitcage* Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 I have been raging at my ipad more and more recently. I know, I know, but I got it out of convenience as I had an iphone at the time. I hate it. For instance, I use whatsapp for some messaging on my android phone. I foolishly thought I could download the app to ipad and sync the account. There isn't a whatsapp for ipads. What? Really? Also, it keeps trying to autocorrect ipad to the way apple write it, with a capital 'p'. I click the x every time as a meagre token rebellion. *fruitcage* apple. Link to post Share on other sites
paranoiddroid Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 I wanted macdonalds on the way home from the pub and just feet bloated and and hideous after the burger, milkshake and chips.... Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 Macdonalds drunk is no fun. Kebab. Always. Link to post Share on other sites
Stuey Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 I have been raging at my ipad more and more recently. I know, I know, but I got it out of convenience as I had an iphone at the time. I hate it. For instance, I use whatsapp for some messaging on my android phone. I foolishly thought I could download the app to ipad and sync the account. There isn't a whatsapp for ipads. What? Really? Also, it keeps trying to autocorrect ipad to the way apple write it, with a capital 'p'. I click the x every time as a meagre token rebellion. *fruitcage* apple. Yeees. Yeeeeeees. That's the spirit. Knew you'd come round. Try opening web.whatsapp.com on your ipad, then do what it says. Might be almost as good. Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 Thankyou, I shall. Sorely tempted to sell the bloony thing and buy a proper android tablet. Link to post Share on other sites
amateurstuntman Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 First thing to do with an android tablet is to film yourself and 2 friends smashing the ipad "Office Space" style. I wanted macdonalds on the way home from the pub and just feet bloated and ###### and hideous after the burger, milkshake and chips.... I get that with my occasional cheat-day pizza. Although I think milk was a bad choice. Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 I would, but I need the money generated from its sale to fund the new toy Link to post Share on other sites
darkchild130 Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 Ditched my Ipad some time ago and got a surface pro. Now that's a real tablet. Darkchild Link to post Share on other sites
paranoiddroid Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 I love my android tablet... shame I need to get it fixed Link to post Share on other sites
Tinkerton Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 PDroid, what tablet and what's wrong with it? Shmook. We told you. We all told you. It's your own fault. Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 I'm so sorry everyone Link to post Share on other sites
paranoiddroid Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 Cracked the glass on a tab 7" not the lcd but just the glass Link to post Share on other sites
Azubi Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 Woke up feeling like I have the worst hangover, but I haven't been drinking... Link to post Share on other sites
amateurstuntman Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 I get that from dirty food now. I've been eating so much raw veg and "clean" food that drinking rockstar gives me a wicked hangover. That *suitcase* can't be good for you. Delicious though. Link to post Share on other sites
paranoiddroid Posted April 5, 2015 Report Share Posted April 5, 2015 It's brilliant when you can barely eat because of meds. You use the calorie content to cope Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore1-6 Posted April 6, 2015 Report Share Posted April 6, 2015 Just been asked 'why did you fail my soldier on his promotion course?' The answer, "Sir, he's an absolute bag of *suitcase* and couldn't command himself into his webbing correctly every morning" wasn't what he was expecting - but damned if i'm honest.Now I have to turn that particular sentence into a course report. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.