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My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!


Sledge

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Nice. 

 

I had sausage and bean casserole last sunday, made with elk sausages.

 

The place I get my game meat from does loads of weird *suitcase*. Beaver salami being one of the strangest. 

 

I am so so tempted to make a batch of BBQ pulled pork with a big hunk of wild boar.

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Guys, what do I do? I'm quite messed up by my breakup and it's strongly influencing my work. My boss is quite understanding and suggests putting me on sick leave so I can be replaced for a week. But I'll be subject to my own depressing thoughts at home. Im living with my parents for the time being as well. Any hints for a guy nearing depression?

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When I had depression in 2002, then at the end of 2004 (diagnosed that time), I plunged headfirst into work and PT, taking my mind off the things that made me feel depressed.  The second time, after about 8 months it gradually subsided, but imo dwelling on the facts (especially if they are beyond your control) will only make it worse.

I forced myself to move on via distracting myself with endless mundane tasks, to the point where time lessened the impact of the issue.

 

Darkchild

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in response to FireKnifes' dilemma - pull a mosby.

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Lone_Bullet:

 

NEW HOBBY TIME! Learn coding! or woodwork, or leatherwork, or welding. take the sick leave and go on that road trip that you always wanted to do but never got around to. Find a restaurant with a 'secret menu' and work ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT. 

 

*suitcase*, man, you're in Belgium, BREW SOME EPIC BEER! :D

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Guys, what do I do? I'm quite messed up by my breakup and it's strongly influencing my work. My boss is quite understanding and suggests putting me on sick leave so I can be replaced for a week. But I'll be subject to my own depressing thoughts at home. Im living with my parents for the time being as well. Any hints for a guy nearing depression?

 

 

1. Understand you are not alone.  Dark Child and I are both "out" as having had depression.  I was medicated for mine, I don't know about DC.

2. See a professional, depression is the most diagnosed condition in the UK.

3. It is not your fault, blame is futile.

4. Be careful about what you focus on, I tried to spend my way out of depression, trying new hobbies etc. but I was still depressed and newly poor.

 

Staying with your parents is a good idea, nostalgia and familiarity can help to reinforce positive thoughts.

Be open with your irl friends, they will help.  If they don't, they aren't your friends.

A diagnosis of depression will help your employer to open up more options within the company policies.

 

You'll be fine, all this will pass in time.  Like tears in the rain.

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I find exercise is incredibly useful with regards to depression - Even just going on a walk/hike with friends through the woods now and then. As others have said, starting new hobbies, getting back into old ones can really help. If you haven't heard of it, Mindfulness is a particular method/technique that's gaining traction quite quickly - here's a quick definition from Wikipedia:

 

Mindfulness is the intentional, accepting and non-judgemental focus of one's attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment,[1] which can be trained by meditational practices that are described in detail in the Buddhist tradition.

 

Its' Buddhist origins might prompt a sense of distrust, but pretty much every clinical study performed using the technique has shown a strong positive effect on the people who practice it. It's been picked up by the NHS as well IIRC.

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If I may put on my analrapist hat...

 

So you have this external factor of your breakup - and of course your emotions. To a certain extent there is little you can do about that. A bit like flying a kite - you have some control over it but you are at the mercy of the winds. The fact that you'd be getting depressed is perfectly natural and I'm not sure it's something that necessarily requires therapy and certainly not medication. In short I think you just need to ride it out. 

 

I remember you saying that you wished to live/work in a northern country for a short time. Maybe this would be a good oppurtunity to do so? A change of scenery and routine would put some distance between you and your problems - literally.

 

This is a little bit out there but maybe something like this? http://www.wwoof.net/

 

You could live a lot more simply and remove some of the day to day stresses. More importantly though I think it would reinforce your sense of self-reliance and your sense of being a "complete" person rather then just a yin without a yang, or whatever.

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I never had any therapy after I was diagnosed, and I refused medication, because I would've been banned from handling weapons or deploying on the ground (I was based in Northern Ireland and was operational at the time).  

Being stopped from doing my job would've made my depression worse, so I just carried on as though I was normal in the workplace and slogged through on my own.

 

Work, PT and hobbies are the key imo.  Distract yourself long enough so the feelings fade.  It may take years.

 

Darkchild

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Thanks for the kind support here. It's why I visit Arnie's.

 

Going to Iceland again is no options since I'm financially bound to a mortgage on my own. She quite simply left me to deal with a €232.000 loan on my own.

I'm barely able to pay that off. But in the mean time I'm planning to buy a tent and some camping gear. Travel shouldn't be expensive so I'm going to Scotland again and have a peek at Ireland.

I'm in a better mood now, my parents live at a relatively quiet place and that's helping a lot with stress. I'm already researching mindfulness.

 

Problem will be seeing 'her' again to fix all the administration. I'l afraid I'll switch between pleading and being angry. I'm thàt kind of guy.

Friend do support me quite a lot. which is nice. You indeed get to know your friends in times of despair.

 

First of all, I'm trying to to say no against opportunities. Second I'm looking for PT, it helped me last time, it'll help me again.

Running in the woods seems nice.

 

Thanks again.

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 But in the mean time I'm planning to buy a tent and some camping gear. Travel shouldn't be expensive so I'm going to Scotland again and have a peek at Ireland.

 

Thanks again.

 

If you go to Scotland (in the summer) be sure to add insect repellent and a mosquito net! Speaking from an unpleasant experience :(

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Thanks for the kind support here. It's why I visit Arnie's.

 

Going to Iceland again is no options since I'm financially bound to a mortgage on my own. She quite simply left me to deal with a €232.000 loan on my own.

I'm barely able to pay that off. But in the mean time I'm planning to buy a tent and some camping gear. Travel shouldn't be expensive so I'm going to Scotland again and have a peek at Ireland.

I'm in a better mood now, my parents live at a relatively quiet place and that's helping a lot with stress. I'm already researching mindfulness.

 

Problem will be seeing 'her' again to fix all the administration. I'l afraid I'll switch between pleading and being angry. I'm thàt kind of guy.

Friend do support me quite a lot. which is nice. You indeed get to know your friends in times of despair.

 

First of all, I'm trying to to say no against opportunities. Second I'm looking for PT, it helped me last time, it'll help me again.

Running in the woods seems nice.

 

Thanks again.

 

Never see her on your own again, you can get your emotions all tangled up and make terrible mistakes that make things worse.

If you have to sort admin out take a "*badgeress* buddy" with you.

Make them swear to never leave you alone with her.

 

If you go to Scotland (in the summer) be sure to add insect repellent and a mosquito net! Speaking from an unpleasant experience :(

Ah, good old culicoides impunctatus.

 

They never bothered me, they aremost active an hour around dusk and dawn and mostly stay near water.

If you avoid water with overhanging trees and pitch your tent while it is still daylight you will be OK, have a nap around dusk to avoid the buggers too.

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So, my galaxy S5 doesn't charge up and is in for repair. Been running a really old Sony Ericsson x10 mini in the mean time.

 

Decided to try and fix the screen on my xperia Z (stepped on it, unresponsive to touch, the reason I got the galaxy) and ordered a screen off eBay.

 

Screen arrives, I strip the phone down. Come to fit new screen and it seems a touch large...

 

Turns out I ordered a Z1 screen, not a Z.

 

£30 down the pan.

 

Brilliant.

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Lone_bullet

 

Wrt the depression, talk to your gp and if they can ask for a referral to someone to talk to professionally.

 

 

Depression is hard especially when the reason for the depression is ongoing as the others said, a hobby, space and a change of scene helps try a hobby you can lose yourself in.

 

If you decide to go down the medication route. (Not necessarily a bad thing) remember it's a means to allow you to sort the issues that are causing the depression and not a way of life and be careful with it.

 

The boy had an antidepressant scrip a few years back. (In its role as a painkiller weirdly enough). It made a voice in his head reappear from his teen years and he spent 3 days searching for a place to hang himself not busy enough he'd be found before....

 

Thankfully he went to see the doctor on the day he was going to do it. It's amazing how quick you get an appointment when you walk in and announce 'i'd like to see someone today because these tablets are making me want to hang myself'

 

The medical route isn't a bad thing eve with the horror stories seriously mate reach out to people and take all the help out there.

 

Even reach out to one of us lot if you want to talk to someone who isn't right there with you and thus involved.

 

I can't speak for anyone else but I'm fairly sure that if you msged Darkchild or tink or me we'd all sit and listen even if you just want to vent.

 

And as for my phone issue the problem is I have no spare handset and rely on it for net at home.

 

My main irritation at the moment is not being well enough to lift the communal hoover up the stairs to hover my flat

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