Jump to content

My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!


Sledge

Recommended Posts

Cyclists.

 

Be they lone, shaven-legged, polystyrene-domed road clutter, the five abreast, mountain-biking ****wits, the 12 year old with no lights going hell for leather from road to pavement and back again or the 2 miles-per-fortnight vicar's wife..

 

When I become galactic emperor these people are going into the vats.

 

All of them.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 24.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Tell them. Then take photos as proof.

 

Watch the faces on the kids when they get grounded for 6 months :D

 

Teenage drinking doesn't p*ss me off totally - hey, I enjoy the odd beer at home on a late night, or with a meal. But I can't see ANY point in just 'getting smashed'.

 

But hey, I'll be the one laughing when they die of a liver failure.

 

But.... but you're like....

 

12 aren't you? :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Link to post
Share on other sites

I enjoy the odd beer now and then but i dont go over the top, i like abit of Jack Daniels mixed with anything.

 

"rant"

 

People who smoke cannabis on the streets, yes thats right those who smoke it on the street, yet when the police come along they cant arrest them because "they cant smell it" yet i can smell it from miles away, it stinks.

 

"rant over"

Link to post
Share on other sites
Cyclists.

 

Be they lone, shaven-legged, polystyrene-domed road clutter, the five abreast, mountain-biking ****wits, the 12 year old with no lights going hell for leather from road to pavement and back again or the 2 miles-per-fortnight vicar's wife..

 

When I become galactic emperor these people are going into the vats.

 

All of them.

:(

Link to post
Share on other sites

Garages...

 

Sure sir we can collect and deliver your company vehicle for it's MOT...

 

On a Friday I finish at 4pm.... they can drop the Van back at 6pm, so Now here i sit in an empty office, on a glorious sunny afternoon wiaitng for some grease monkey to get me my van back.

 

And as for the lease company, thats right they book the Van into, no not the town I work or live in, they book it somewhere 20 miles away. Imbeciles

Link to post
Share on other sites
Cyclists.

 

Be they lone, shaven-legged, polystyrene-domed road clutter, the five abreast, mountain-biking ****wits, the 12 year old with no lights going hell for leather from road to pavement and back again or the 2 miles-per-fortnight vicar's wife..

 

When I become galactic emperor these people are going into the vats.

 

All of them.

 

At some point, the 12 year old with no lights on his bike (these seem to be chavs for some reason. Can't think why) will probably end up underneath my car. I'll be upset because the scumbag will have damaged my car.

 

On the subject of GTA: San An. I'm really not happy at the things I have to do to get the Hunter. I want that goddamn gunship, it's great fun in GTA: VC, I even maxed out my money with it. I dont want to have to complete the flight school with all golds, I want to be able to steal it from the Army base with a minimum of effort.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry, I'll use my staple gun and staple it back, when I find it that is?

 

 

 

 

Hopefully it's not being feed to the neighbourghs cat, or rotting in the compost heap, then I'm b*ggered.

Link to post
Share on other sites

ok, here's what grinds my gears- the fact that cans of beer are so bloody titchy in the US!

 

seriously, I've been thinking I've developed a serious drinking problem of late, until it suddenly occurred to me that, given that most US beer is about 4% (there's no way most of it is any higher, I speak as a stella-swilling englishman, and I know what its like to drink 10 cans of 5% stuff versus 4%), and the US seems to think beer should come in cans that only contain 12 oz THAT...

 

I'm actually drinking LESS than I did in the UK. Even though I'm spending more and creating more rubbish in the process.

 

seriously. 12 oz is a half-pint in any british pub. Drinking 12 of these at one sitting is the equivalent of 6 pints. Given that these are about 4 percent, that the same as drinking 6 pints of Carling ###### Label (stuff I'd never ordinarily touch on the grounds that you'd get drunker going for a walk than drinking that stuff, plus it tastes of camel wee), that means that, for a chap used to drinking 5% plus real ale or stella, I'm now drinking less than I was in the UK, enjoying it less, and also bloody well spending more on beer!

 

what the hells up with that? land of the free? you can stick it!

 

*flags down a passing plane bound for blighty and a decent pub to get rat-arsed in*

 

*pulls out megaphone and points it in the general direction of the Six Bells in Bishops Castle*

 

"LANDLORD?!!!!! PINT OF BEST PLEASE! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE DAY I'M HAVING!!!!"

Link to post
Share on other sites

On my entrepid adventure at american I found out one thing and that is.......

 

Budwiser tastes like ###### any day of the week.

 

I seriously could taste nothing but water. : ( Also is having a drink every other day count as a drinking problem? If so I'm screwed. : (

Link to post
Share on other sites

apparently it means a drinking problem here.

 

friends warned me when I came over- you can't go to the pub all the time there, they'll think you're a tramp.

 

what? but...I LIKE going to the pub...well, not the pubs here, where its impossible to get served unless you find a seat at the bar, and even then you have to wait for ages, and if not you have to wait on a waiter to serve you, and then you still have to tip AND spend more on less beer thats not as good or strong or tasty as the stuff I can get by walking into any real-ale pub in the UK.

 

obviously I mean the pubs back home.

 

and yes, Bud is lousy here- its weird, but ordinarily the stuff a country sends overseas is the rubbish stuff, but in the US, its like the other way round- bud here is seriously lousy, but the funny thing is is that if you ask a waiter or barman what percentage alcohol is in the beer, they'll tell you, without hesitation, that all the beers are in or around the 5% mark, when they clearly aren't.

 

and worse, beer manufacturers here are under NO obligation to put the abv on the side of their products. This means that you can't gauge how much you've drunk unless you've already got a pretty good idea what 5% does to you.

 

Sorry, I mean absolutely no disrespect to America or AMericans, but having come from a country where drinking is a business to be take seriously (they aren't even any obligation to fill the beer all the way to the top of the glass! and they don't use pint glasses but call them pints! and the heads can be massive!! WTF?!?!?), it all can be a little traumatic.

 

ALl I want is to be able to walk into a bar, ask for a pint, actually GET a pint, that has a reasonable head on it (meaning less than a half-inch), and comes to the top of the glass.

 

I'm not going to spill it down myself, for gods' sake...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Not recently. Thinking more Magners and Kopparberg.

 

Actually, people saying they don't like cider is one of my pet peeves. They've tasted some cheapass battery acid stuff and decided they don't like it. Kinda like tasting Tesco's 18p for two litres cola, then saying all cola is *beep*. Bah.

 

:zorro:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Agreed I like my ales and I like my ciders. I do tend go for Ales more so but that just beacuase I can get 3 bottles for £4 down the road. Anyway Crazy_Harry I am sure you can get the good old Jordie Juice in the us. Granted it's not the best of ales around however it is a good constalation prize ; )

Link to post
Share on other sites

Nothing like a cold Magners on a hot day. :) It's just these people who, like a five year old refusing carrots, insist they dislike something they've never bloody tried! White Lightning is hardly the same as a decent cider you morons! :angry:

 

And breathe. I'm fine.

 

:zorro:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and the use of session cookies.