Jump to content
Sledge

My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

Recommended Posts

Speedaway Motorcycles, Birmingham.

 

I figure its time for an oil change on the Guzzi Cali. As it turns out, the Guzzi Griso speedo sensor has packed up so I order one of them as well. So I go to order parts.

 

Now bear in mind that the Guzzi Cali uses the same engine that Guzzi has used since the early 1960's with very few modifications. It has powered small tractors, military trucks and motorcycles. There are hundreds of thousands of them out there, maybe millions, so you'd think a Guzzi main dealer would have parts aplenty for what is possibly the most iconic engine in motorcycling after the BMW Boxer.

 

Order placed on the 4th. 6th it changes to 'processing'. I hear nothing. Called up today.

 

Guy on the parts desk sounds like serving me is all too much effort.

 

"Hi, I'm following up order number **** which I placed on the 4th April". Phone goes quiet, with muffled voices in the background. At this stage Im not sure whether I'd called Speedaway, or MI6 HQ and had just given the order to launch nukes at China.

 

He comes back. "Is it in stock?" Is this the parts supplier asking the customer if they have something out of stock?

"Well, most of it says available, the speedo sensor said special order: 7 to 10 days. Do you at least have the California parts, I can wait for the sensor."

"Its all out of stock."

 

WHAT? So between 4th April and now, not one person has asked for some simple maintenance parts for the third most widely manufactured motorcycle engine in history, from the only company in England which has a fiche diagram ordering system?

 

And they can't try the closed airspace excuse on me since that only stopped planes on 15th April, and they set the order to processing on the 6th. Either theyre sloppy, or they send orders to Italy by carrier pigeon and it choked to death on the ash cloud.

 

I then ask for another gasket I need to the Cali that has just started leaking - the timing cover gasket.

 

"I also need a Cali timing gasket"

He starts to look for it. No response after about a minute. I am online and ask HIM if HE needs HIS part number. He says OK, I find it.

"GU twelve hundred, twelve hundred"

"Oh yeah, I remember it now."

"Do you have the paper or metal type?"

"Let me ask................We have the paper version."

"Can you order the metal type?"

"...............yes"

"How long will that take to come?"

"..............2 weeks". GAH.

"Okay, do you have the paper type in?"

".....................no".

"How long will that take to come?"

".....................about 10 days".

"I'll wait then."

 

I'm amazed he had the brains to know how the phone worked.

 

 

-=-=-

 

UPDATE:

 

Called Moto Mecca, they have everything on the shelf including the sensor. Cancelled my order with Speedaway, sorted :)

Edited by GuzziHero

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Allergy medications make me sleepy. And I was wondering why the *fruitcage* I was wandering like stoned through the last two weeks. Whoopin' A.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Guzzi, dont blame the parts man. If its an old bike, chances are they wont keep parts for it anymore. be lucky they even make parts for it nowadays! most car manufacturers start making parts obsolete 10 years after they stop selling the car, sometimes even less.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Cali is 1994 and the engine has been the mainstay of Moto Guzzi since 1967. Most parts are still interchangeable with the very latest models, in fact the currently-sold Cali Vintage still uses an identical engine.

 

The Griso that the speedo sensor for is a 2007 model, the sensor is the standard one fitted to models still in production.

 

Plus... Moto Mecca had every single part sitting on the shelf.

 

I appreciate where you're coming from, if this was an unusual model or one that has been discontinued for 5 years or more, then I would understand. As is... nada!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rant #1:

 

I was just driving down a dual carriageway, minding my own biz.

 

I was coming toward a set of pedestrian lights, which were green. The opposite carriage way was clear, so a group of people were crossing to the middle island. One had a white stick, so I slowed a little, amusing myself with the thought, that he might just walk out in front of me.

 

Blow me, he did!

 

Thankfully, I managed to break & swerve, coming to rest, with my door in front of him. My window was open (nice day), so as his stick hit the side of my door, I heard him mutter, 'didn't you see the stick?'

 

Before pulling away, I couldn't help retorting, 'Yes but I thought that meant you were blind, not suicidal'. :unsure:

 

& #2:

 

A new game for cold callers. :D I don't get that many, so make the most of them when I do. Sure, when it's inconvenient, I've done the swearing till I'm blue in the face thing. Occasionally I go all '70's dirty old man & ask what they are wearing while Darth Vader breathing. The heavy, comedy Chinese accent 'why you ling dis number? Why you ling me, you stupid iriot?', is another fave.

 

So, this is my latest: Answer the call with the normal 'Hello?'. Then, what ever happens, say, nothing. :huh: Take a dump, wash your hands, make a paper airplane, watch the telly. What ever. Just don't say a word. Don't hang up, just listen. It's brilliant.

 

Paul from the Accident hotline today had me in fits, as he struggled to come to terms with it, repeating his greeting script: 'hello, this is the accident hotline, how are you today?,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Hello? Hello?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, This is the etc, etc.'

 

10/10 for perseverance, Paul rang back 3 times. :lol:

 

I was bighting my tongue, trying not to laugh out loud.

 

Rant #3, (I've been saving them up)

 

Pole taking folk that come to your door, wanting to talk about voting. They knock & say, 'hello, Mr X?', so I say, 'yes, possibly, before we continue, I think it's only fair we level the paying field, hang on.' I then close the door & take my time getting a pen & paper, open the door again & say 'so your full name and address is?', followed by, 'how long have you been a resident in X area & what changes would you like to see?' If they fail to instantly provide the information, I do a comedy 'shoe-shoe, go away' in an effeminate voice, with camp 'shoe-shoe' actions & gently close the door. Thus far, I've had no less than 5 of these encounters & have left each one speechless & laughing. With absolutely no idea who I'm voting for. As we have no monster raving loony party candidate. :blush:

 

 

Greg.

Edited by greg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a blood-splattered meat cleaver I keep in a drawer next to the door JUST for this purpose - simply remove all of your clothes apart from your socks, splash yourself with red food colouring and smile like a rapist.

 

Never had any more visits from the mormons.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a blood-splattered meat cleaver I keep in a drawer next to the door JUST for this purpose - simply remove all of your clothes apart from your socks, splash yourself with red food colouring and smile like a rapist.

 

Never had any more visits from the mormons.

Back in the '80's, I spent a Halloween, opening the door to kids, with a loaded (but not tensioned) crossbow & black balaclava.

 

On each of about 10 occasions the kids ran off screaming.

 

God only knows what would happen, if I tried that prank now.

 

Oh how the times have changed. :rolleyes:

 

 

Greg.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rant 1 - The Ash. I just wanna get home. I find it hard to come to terms with it all though, feeling somewhat lost that I can't direct my anger at anyone. If it was HR, the Travel Idiot I have to deal with or even Terrorists then at least I would have someone to direct my frustration at but with this I can't! I can hardly call a volcano a *Ubar* now can I?

 

Rant 2 - STC, my mobile provider have a problem with their PAYG system. I can't put credit on my phone and I have currently run out. Not good when I need to make a few calls over the next couple of days.

 

Rant 3 - New villa, new internet connection. You'd think it would be easy but no. I spent an hour on my UK phone number calling a Saudi tech support centre, speaking to a guy who didn't have a bloody clue. I still haven't got my router working, the one they recommended in the first place, because apparently it doesn't support the connection. GAH!

 

Nothing has gone right today. From the volcano ###### out more ash this morning and stopping flights again after getting my hopes up to a bad day at work, and now gash internet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds sad but,

 

One or more of my housemates has been stealing my shower gel.. You may be like.. its only *fruitcage* shower gel, but its my goddam shower gel, the extra strong mint stuff from natural source (kinda hard to find, most places only stock the normal mint).

 

So today I have invested in a bottle of green food colouring. I shall add it when there is only a little bit left and let the thief get stained green.

 

This will be fun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So today I have invested in a bottle of green food colouring. I shall add it when there is only a little bit left and let the thief get stained green.

 

:lol: Good show sir! Will it not just get washed off though? They will be in a shower after all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Guzzi, dont blame the parts man. If its an old bike, chances are they wont keep parts for it anymore. be lucky they even make parts for it nowadays! most car manufacturers start making parts obsolete 10 years after they stop selling the car, sometimes even less.

 

 

Mmmm, not quite, that motor is the bike equivalent of the Rover V8.

Imagine phoning a Range Rover dealership and not being able to get hold of a sump gasket.

 

 

Sounds sad but,

 

One or more of my housemates has been stealing my shower gel.. You may be like.. its only *fruitcage* shower gel, but its my goddam shower gel, the extra strong mint stuff from natural source (kinda hard to find, most places only stock the normal mint).

 

So today I have invested in a bottle of green food colouring. I shall add it when there is only a little bit left and let the thief get stained green.

 

This will be fun

 

It'll just wash off.

Put horse linament in it.

 

Or

 

If you are pure evil, some of your body fluids, you choose but they are all pretty bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm

 

I've had food colouring stain my hands for a few days before.

 

So the linament stuff is like extra strong muscle rub? I can imagine the shriek as they got clean the nads..

 

 

I was thinking of grinding up some habereno chilies (scotch bonnets) I have lying about and mixing them in.

 

Maybe we should have a vote.. any more suggestions are welcomed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Use bleach. Theives deserve it. I don't care if they're sponging off their housemate's shower gel, breaking into houses to steal TVs or carjacking commuters, they all deserve to be strung up by their thumbs and horsewhipped to death. But failing that, going blind from bleach in the stolen shower gel seems fair.

 

I'm currently annoyed because I have to go to the JobCentre on Friday for a timewasting "back to work session", which is something I can't really miss, and therefore can't go shooting on Friday with the TA. Annoying... <_<

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mmmm, not quite, that motor is the bike equivalent of the Rover V8.

Imagine phoning a Range Rover dealership and not being able to get hold of a sump gasket.

 

^ This is the correct motorcycle.

 

Plus, it was the parts guys totally gormless attitude. He didnt know nuffink, and didnt care either!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe we should have a vote.. any more suggestions are welcomed.

Razor blades, rusty nails, anvils, vinegar & rat poo. Iron filings, coppers sulphate crystals & 'monster crab' carp bait additive.

 

& possibly, 'Wicks' shed & timber preserver, in dark brown. Which never washes off.;)

 

 

Greg.

Edited by greg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So the Griso is still off road waiting for a speedo sensor.

 

Why's it off the road?

 

I didn't think a speedo was a legal requirement.

 

 

Greg.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not really a rant, but it's shocking enough to share with you guys. Plus it follows up from my last moan.

 

 

Phoned the JobCentre today, to see if I could get out of the thing on Friday, so I'd be free to go shooting with the TA, and the person I spoke to was *VERY* helpful and sorted it all out for me in about 10 minutes, phoned me back to save my phone bill, booked me a new appointment for next week, arranged for me to get my money paid without having to go in, everything I could have wanted....

 

I was pretty surprised by how easy it was, let me tell you...

 

So, today is now officially a good day.

 

Oh, and a very happy birthday to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second... :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats to both Hedg & Guzz, a happy ending is always nice to hear.

 

Here's one for my old sparing partner FireKnife:

 

I just got a call from a nice girl I met in Austria. She wanted to know if I was looking for a *fruitcage*-buddy. :huh:

 

This is the 3rd time this has happened this year! :blink:

 

What ever happened to 'do you want to go out on a date?' It's so much more civilized than, 'remember me, fancy a *fruitcage*-fest'.

 

Call me old fashioned (I am old) but can't we at least pretend to be a little coy? I mean, the chase is usually better than the catch, so sticking it on a plate, kind of takes the fun away. :angry:

 

 

Greg.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Plus, it makes you wonder how many other ****-buddies she has/has had. This is why I don't do the relationship thing. Committment is dead, or at least dying for the most part.

 

Most girls are trying to act like boys, and trying to make most boys act like girls...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I didn't think a speedo was a legal requirement.

 

 

Greg.

A speedo is a legal requirement.

 

As a rule, lots of guys who build rat-bikes tend to use those magnetic speedomabobs designed for pushbikes.

They're good for 100mph or more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and the use of session cookies.