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My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

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I have several friends who I'm convinced are married and planning kids - despite not wanting either, and just doing it to 'fit in'.

 

Massive life altering decisions, to keep up with the Jones's.

 

Befuddling, but hey, they're adults, and capable of their own decision making. I would never dream of vocalising my thoughts to them though... What would it accomplish other than upsetting and embarrassing people? 

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Your threat was too reasonable.

 

He would have known you were joking if you'd threatened to send the Arnie's SWANT team around to his house to remove his double posting mechanisms (thumbs).

 

 

 

 

Surely that's a ban-page?

 

 

 

Balls!

 

 

 

 

I had a 3 hour conversation yesterday with my friend from school.

I hadn't spoken to her properly since about 15 years ago.

 

She has just gone through unsuccessful IVF and wanted to talk to someone in a similar situation.

We spoke about Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Ayrton Senna, Life, Death, the bleakness of existence and the cruelty of a society that measures success in children squeezed out.

 

We both had a bit of an existential crisis.

 

We are both unique and interesting but have both shat out.

 

 

I think she is going to ditch her safe job deporting crims and go back to international human rights.

In no way have you 'shat out'. Please don't think like that, and tell your friend too.

 

To me, having a child is the most difficult thing you can do. The learning curve and lifestyle change is incredible.

 

Giving birth near as dammit killed my wife, she was given a 50/50 chance that night as she bled out in front of me. Only a decent on call surgeon and several litres if donated blood made sure my world didn't fall apart. She had to undergo a full hysterectomy at a relatively young age, and it put my son in intensive care and transported to a specialist hospital in Manchester (from Blackpool). The aftermath tested our marriage and relationship to bloody breaking point. She constantly feels inadequate as a woman and placatory (is that a word?) words will never console her...

 

Please don't get me wrong, I love having my little boy, but it's constantly stressful and you're life isn't your own any more. I'd like to say I wouldn't change a thing, but with the things they went through, we both have said if we had the opportunity to do it again, we wouldn't take the risk.

 

Apologies for this post, I know it's not good reading, but what I'm trying to say in a way is that having children should never be a mark of success, and there are a myriad of reasons why people don't or can't.

 

I'm waffling, and bit pickled. Sorry. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this. I'm trying to help, but am *fruitcage*ed if I know if it's working ;)

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Arnies members are a varied and wholesome bunch.

 

Everybody, people like different things. We all have other hobbies as well as air soft, and some of them are weird to other members (goslings! They juggle baby geese!) and so don't be surprised when life is like that too.

 

As for me, I want kids desperately, and I'm fortunate enough to have discussed this before marriage, and have married someone who agrees with me.

 

But I've got friends without kids. Couples who've been together much longer than me and mrs tink, and they're happy without.

 

Who am I to judge their life choices?

 

Today's rant.

 

Not quite enough fuel to get to York and back tomorrow.

 

Too much fuel to warrant going to the good shell garage on the way there.

 

Quandary. Fill up with good fuel now, or wait and fill up with probably lesser fuel?

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Find some reason to drive about till you are at the level to justify the good fuel now.

 

The folks bought another buick lesabre, one that seems even older than the other.  They supposedly got a good deal on it, but honestly they just need to have the one tire fixed on the oldest car and have mother drive the first lesabre instead of buying this one.  They say "well, you need a car, and that other one is junk" but to me, a no life worthless sack of *suitcase* that I am, does not require a car.

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Who am I to judge their life choices?

 

More people should be like you.

 

I'm bored of people saying "you'll be having kids soon then" when they find out how long me and the gf have been together.

 

The answer is usually "yes, just as soon as I can whistle the national anthem out of my *albartroth*"

 

Neither of us want them, and I'm bored of being treated like we're being selfish for it.

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Heh.

 

I agree if you cant/dont want kids there is a sense that...your life isn't complete in the minds of others and they almost try to push you too it.

 

I don't think kids is an option for me, I'd have to come off pretty much every tablet im on and...those nine months would be bedbound screaming and crying and just... The risk of harm to the kid from my falling constantly would be huge. Really basic stuff like going to the shop alone as a stay at home mum would... I'd need a carer with me to do it. Plus i honestly don't think i could put my partner through it. He lost one after birth like 36hrs after birth and had the two other times they tried for a child end in still births and emergency surgery to save his no ex and being asked o allow them to remove the plug told his wife may die of they don't. Ibi don't want to hurt him and the fear and guilt is something he still has issues with. Neither of us want kids and we have discussed it and we are happy.

 

Iv been looked down on told I'm immature and have broken priorities and need to grow up (that said by a girl who got knocked up by a 23yr old when she was 17 and lives in a council place with her new partner with a dedicated room for her kid that he has never used because she can't get unsupervised visitation because she's in a relationship with someone on the register) now i was tempted to be really nasty and catty there. All i posted was being surprised how many people had kids of my contemporaries (aged 20 nearly 21) and because i suggested here was an alternative life pathway than leave school/uni get married pop out kids immediately god the vitriol and abuse. Everyone who commented seemed to feel like my being surprised and openly admitting that I couldn't see having kids at the point i was at and I'm happy with my life as it was then and couldn't see children being a positive at that time (21, third year of uni means I'm not settled in a career yet so when i get a job its bottom of the totem pole and id need time to establish my career, relationships at uni vs relationships outside of uni are really different and i id want a couple of years after uni to get the relationship on a good path and couldn't see how adding kids straight way was good for the relationship. Stress additional challenges at a time of massive change similarly id want the first few years of married life to be about establishing an US how we do things work on things work out problems vs married then immediately after kid so.. They've never experienced married life without having a child is want time to explore marriages challenges tribulations an rewards before taking that step)

 

 

I wasn't nasty or vitriolic aboutitjust shocked how many have had kids by that point and an admittance that at 21 i was not in my view ready to have kids and Jesus you'd have thought id walked onto their front room and done unspeakable acts to their cat on the Sunday china from the level of abuse and nattiness' i got. I was called immature, told i was wasting my life, told i needed to grow up by the aforementioned girl with the sex offender boyfriend (you have no idea how tempted I was to post something like 'the *fruitcage* you know about actually having a child changing your life, you lost custody to your ex every hearing has said you can't have custody and you can't even have visits without being supervised because you prioritise *fruitcage* a sex offender over your child' when she was attacking me telling me i needed to grow the *fruitcage* up. My mother worked in SS so i got updates on how the disabled lot from school she fondly imagined I was friends with, the group i got stuck with in pe and sat at break times and at lunch etc etc because 'your all disabled so you have to be friends' segregation was a thing) and i got just insulted and abused as if me saying i can't see being ready and on a place in my life where having kids is a good thing somehow attacks and hurts them... As if me saying I'm happy where i am in life and enjoy the time o myself and the ability to do stuff without needing babysitters and detailed plans and having my free money (like the extra after bills) be all free to do stuff with vs needing to put it into 'family wants' was somehow me saying that they *fruitcage*ed up and had *suitcase* life choices or whatever.

 

There is a social pressure to settle down spit out a couple of kids and get married and i do know people who got married pretty much because society said they needed to and the same for having kids.

 

 

Thankfully I'm used to people thinking I'm subhuman and subnormal so I'm not massively bothered that certain people look down on me because I'm not getting married soon and i don't intend to have kids and i don't feel the need to justify myself to them when they ask why not. As if 'because we don't want children' isn't a good enough answer they want to know of its a medical thing or a issue with one of you getting the third degree and the stinkeye as if there's no greater sin that to not have exhausted every option to ensure you can procreate, no one more contemptible than a happy DINKie couple.

 

Although in my case there is a fairly vocal minority who tell me i shouldn't have kids at all and in fact i shouldn't be allowed to have children and the government should ensure that so i can't win really can i?

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I haven't really thought about kids but maybe that's because I've never been in a relationship for any decent amount of time.

 

I feel I'd probably like to adopt as there's enough kids out there without families to love them but that's not to say I'm against biological children or people who do have them.

 

And Stunt as been said, you've not shat out. From what I've read you've had a pretty rough time of life but you've still powered through and come across as an awesome guy who I'd love to meet one day. I wish you all the best man.

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More people should be like you.

 

I'm bored of people saying "you'll be having kids soon then" when they find out how long me and the gf have been together.

 

The answer is usually "yes, just as soon as I can whistle the national anthem out of my *albartroth*"

 

Neither of us want them, and I'm bored of being treated like we're being selfish for it.

 

Everybody should be more like me. 

 

That's an order. 

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To be honest with you, kids are over rated. Unless you get someone knocked up by accident. Then they're "God's little miricals". Atleast, that's what my friend calls his kids. By the attitudes his children have, I'll go from agnostic to straight atheists...

 

Speaking of ducked up *suitcase*, I met up with a man I worked with years ago. He brought his daughter to coffee. Last time I saw her she was a 10 year old tomboy singing M.I.A Paper Planes in her front lawn, now she's a model for a local Jean company and drop dead gorgeous.

 

Had to bite my tounge from saying anything creepy.

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Kids can and are great. Most of the time it's *suitcase* parents bringing up their children in *suitcase* way. Or the child has experienced something horrific, that affects them in a strong way. Having had a varied amount of friends and learning their experiences, there are people out there that should be hung, drawn and quartered. I hope no-one should ever feel embarrassment or shame expressing a past incident. You'd be surprised (and sickened) by how many victims are made to feel they are at fault.

 

Hang on, I'll get off my soap box now.

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Some of the *suitcase* I see to do with kids in *suitcase* environments will make you want to elevate you anger straight to 'murder'...

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I'm in Wales!

Lovely place here!

So why this post here?

Cardiff... It's like they've dumped the surplus of traffic lights in that city.

UK road markings are, in my opinion, confusing at best. Half of it unreadable, the other half looks like a colour book.

Speedlimits weren't clear as well, but that's more the fault of the author of my Capitol Guide. Apparently I was speeding constantly ( 80nwhere I could go 60). I might be in deep feces when I get home... Most motorists are quite gentlemanly though!

 

Oh, and I get the hate against lorry drivers on the UK motorways now...

They simply park on the entrance of a motorway parking, blocking it from anybody else. How are you even born like that?

 

Rest of this post in the schnitzel department!

 

Sent from my C6603 using Tapatalk

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I'm in Wales!

Lovely place here!

So why this post here?

Cardiff... It's like they've dumped the surplus of traffic lights in that city.

UK road markings are, in my opinion, confusing at best. Half of it unreadable, the other half looks like a colour book.

Speedlimits weren't clear as well, but that's more the fault of the author of my Capitol Guide. Apparently I was speeding constantly ( 80nwhere I could go 60). I might be in deep feces when I get home... Most motorists are quite gentlemanly though!

 

Oh, and I get the hate against lorry drivers on the UK motorways now...

They simply park on the entrance of a motorway parking, blocking it from anybody else. How are you even born like that?

 

Rest of this post in the schnitzel department!

 

Sent from my C6603 using Tapatalk

 

Speed limits are easy - if there are number signs, that's the limit (in MPH, not KPH, you dirty forren!) If there's no speed signs but lamp posts/street lamps (in a village/city/town) it's 30 (unless you've gone past a 20 zone sign, then it's 20 until you see a 20 zone ends sign.

 

if there's no number signs but the odd black diagonal stripe one, it's 60MPH on single carriage way roads, or 70MPH on dual carriageway roads (lanes of traffic physically seperated by something, like a motorway.

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Thanks! This helps a lot!

Thia filthy forren even bought stickers with the kph/miles conversion and stickers in order not to blind these weirdo's driving on the wrong side of the road.

 

But thanks!

I was driving 60 mostly outside towns, helped by my gps. So i'm pretty good

 

Edit: I confused things. I didn't ever do 80mph, but 80 kph, oof

 

Sent from my C6603 using Tapatalk

Edited by Lone_Bullet

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Everyone speeds in Wales. It like the national sport. That and driving arrogance.

 

The Welsh are atrocious drivers.

 

You should have visited somewhere far nicer. Like England :P

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Also, a lot of 20 zones are actually 30 limits as they are recommended by the council, but not enforceable as 20 mph.

 

Just to confuse you further... :P

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In america, we do 60 everywhere. Usually, the bodies slow us down if we need to go slower.

Edited by Gunnman

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I did! My car is coping nicely at the moment.

I'll be returning the 9th of may, but already decided I will plan another trip to Wales at another time. So darn nice here! So greeeeeen!

 

Thus I'll have another opportunity to practice my right hand driving.

 

Sent from my C6603 using Tapatalk

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Driving on the correct side, you mean?

 

Rumour has it that all of Europe rode on the left until Napoleon changed it the right because he was left handed. How true that is, not sure...

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How do you know if it's enforceable?

  

if it's black numbers on a white sign with a red circle, it's enforceable.

 

Not necessarily. My council have said signs and they aren't. I double checked with a traffic sgt and he confirmed.

 

No idea how you tell otherwise, sorry.

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In no way have you 'shat out'. Please don't think like that, and tell your friend too.

 

 

Eh, I just meant played for and missed.

 

Sorry to hear about your troubles, from my interactions with you I feel like you would breeze through the mandatory parent exam in Stunt's Britain without even needing more than the basic parent GCSE.

Probably no re-training required.

 

I haven't really thought about kids but maybe that's because I've never been in a relationship for any decent amount of time.

 

I feel I'd probably like to adopt as there's enough kids out there without families to love them but that's not to say I'm against biological children or people who do have them.

 

And Stunt as been said, you've not shat out. From what I've read you've had a pretty rough time of life but you've still powered through and come across as an awesome guy who I'd love to meet one day. I wish you all the best man.

 

I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING!

 

Thanks dude.  <sobs>

 

I'm in Wales!

 

UK road markings are, in my opinion, confusing at best. Half of it unreadable, the other half looks like a colour book.

 

 

That's because in Wales half the road signs are in Welsh, which is unreadable.

 

It's just conditioning.

Because I grew up in multiple countries I don't find any road signs difficult.

British ones are pretty good on a global scale.  Pretty consistent, pretty readable.

 

The colouring thing is useful because they are colour coded for relevance.

 

Green - A road

Blue - Motorway

Brown - FAO tourists

Red - MOD/Hospital/Warnings

 

Many of then have pictures in stead of words to make the accessible to foreign and uneducated drivers.  You do have to know what they mean ahead of times in some cases though.

 

 

Hope you had a nice time.

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