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Sledge

My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

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I search for random to disturbing things between regular searches.

 

Badger culling, laura ashley sofas, airsoft sites in the south, how to build a jet engine, spaniel puppies to buy, how many lego bricks to fill a bath, massacres in the 1900s..

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Anyone ever feel genuinely worthless?

 

Because that's where I am right now. I'm so tired of trying to be OK.

 

I snapped at work and went into the kitchen tohave it out with my KM as he was being a bit of a knob as usual (Normally it's given and taken as banter but he was ignoring me on the radio for a simple thing that was causing me so much aggro). I actually wanted it to turn into a physical fight, I was craving it.

 

And now I feel like a right douche.

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I absolutely screamed at one of my cadets last night, after warning them to stop *fruitcage* around in my lesson over and over again, I just lost it.

It's been kinda playing on my mind since - I don't think I was out of order but I definitely went too far and lost my temper, which isn't cool.

So yeah, a bit.

Seriously though, if this has been a persistent issue for you, then please consider seeking proper support. Professional support.

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Ive had a bunch of panic attacks recently and the other day i smashed the communal fire alarm in my flat building with a stick (it wouldnt turn off) so my parents (im 28) have made me see a therapist. So it happens to chads like me too, dont worry! 

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The other day I was in Asda walking along the centre (transverse) aisle and a woman walked backwards/sideways out of one of the standard (longitudinal) aisles pulling her trolley from the front and not looking where she was going.
Her child was pushing it from the front.

I saw her coming and I knew she was going to hit me with the trolley.

For some reason I decided not to avoid her.

The trolley wheel hit my foot and the trolley stopped.  Her child head-butted the handle with his teeth and she fell over.

 

Sometimes you just want to watch the world burn.  It's a good sign that you feel bad about it.

That turd of a kitchen troll won't feel bad about the harm they cause because they are human and humans are (on the whole) garbage.

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The other day I was in Asda walking along the centre (transverse) aisle and a woman walked backwards/sideways out of one of the standard (longitudinal) aisles pulling her trolley from the front and not looking where she was going.
Her child was pushing it from the front.
I saw her coming and I knew she was going to hit me with the trolley.
For some reason I decided not to avoid her.
The trolley wheel hit my foot and the trolley stopped.  Her child head-butted the handle with his teeth and she fell over.
 
Sometimes you just want to watch the world burn.  It's a good sign that you feel bad about it.
That turd of a kitchen troll won't feel bad about the harm they cause because they are human and humans are (on the whole) garbage.
But did you get more fake ice lollies?

I have also been intentionally watching things go wrong at work due to a mistake on someone else's part.

I am tired of carrying other people when the reason they need carrying is apathy.
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Apparently this morning my wrist decided it wanted to move in a different direction to what it should have when emptying our glass bins (yes I was stupid and did a large, full one myself) and I've either twisted it or sprained. Cue spending £20 on a wrist support and painkillers (needed more meds anyway).

 

Was meant to have my SAR candidate day today but we couldn't spare me from work so I now have to hope they've slipped my application to the next round (sometime in the first half of 2019) which is playing with my anxiety, what if they don't get in touch and I miss that round? What if I've annoyed them with showing interest, asking questions but not being able to commit to the candidate day on a Saturday with three weeks notice?

 

This week has been pretty sucky. But also alright...

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Get in touch with them to explain, apologise for not attending and ask to be put on the next round.

Life happens, I'm sure they'll understand that but they'll be better disposed towards you if you take the time to explain yourself.

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Already have. Told them about three weeks ago when we realised due to having a manager off on loan and several on leave that it's not feasible.

 

Its just wondering if they'll get back to me.

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Want to kick the car to pieces now. Spent over 12 hours trying to fix a broken regulator. Have given up and will fob it off to a garage.

 

All the right bits, all working, just a *suitcase* design it seems.

 

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When my last car suffered from a catastrophic engine-based explosion, I vowed I would do everything in my power to never own my own vehicle ever again. 

I've owned 2nd hand cars for the last 21 years I've been driving, and the pure, steering wheel-biting rage of an unexpected problem that costs a fortune to fix or have fixed is something I never want to experience ever again. 

I appreciate everyone is different, but I do rather enjoy the fact I will give mine back at the end of the lease, not even bei g given the option to buy it, and get a new one. Any problems it may have in the meantime just require me to drop it off at the dealer and be given a courtesy car until its fixed. 

Apologies if this is sounding smug, it's not meant to. I just got to the end of my tether with my daily drivers causing issues. 

 

 

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