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My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

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All the morons who drive around with fogs and spots on when its not foggy should all crash into a telegraph pole. The same pole. At the same time.

 

Every time I see one of these dip****s, I want to turn their fog lights off...with the front of my bus.

 

 

Amen to that, brother. Although I desire to do it with belt-fed 7.62mm gunfire...

Edited by Hedganian

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People I don't know knocking on my door at all times of the day asking me to tow them up the street since they have noticed that I am the only one in my street who hasn't got stuck and

 

coincidentally

 

I am the only person I have seen in the last three days with a set of snow socks for his car.

 

 

I overtook a stranded Land Rover Discovery on a hill yesterday in my MKI Skoda Octavia.

 

People of south England: You Suck.

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Snow socks? I'm intrigued

 

But seriously, what's the deal with all these people buying 4x4s that don't have off-road capable tyres on them? The most off-roading they do is parking at Waitrose, so what the hell are they driving Land Rovers for??

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Brilliant invention.

Like snow chains, you stick them over your wheels.

 

Unlike snow chains they don't damage your tyres, alloys or the road.

They are also a damn sight more easy to fit, you stretch the elastic over the top of the tyre, drive forward a bit and stretch them over the top (formerly the bottom) of the tyre.

Alternatively you can jack the wheel up and just stretch it over the tyre.

 

They work brilliantly, after all the SAS recommend you take your socks off and replace them over your boots for more grip traversing icy slopes.

Pulled off from a standing start on a 30% slope on sheet ice in a FWD 1350Kg car with 180bhp and 225 section track day tyres no problem at all.

 

Sure, they are £55 and you might only use them twice a year but the sheer smug factor is worth every penny.

 

I drove into the carpark of my local (down a dip in the road and up the other side) and was greeted by the look of total confusion by the staff who were only there "because we can't get out of the car park in our cars" and who hadn't seen a customer in 7 hours.

 

There's a billion smug points right there.

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I Googled them, and found a few different brands and whatnot - are you aware of any major differences between them? Any to avoid or try to get?

 

The cheapest I've found so far are here - I assume they're okay?

 

When my first paycheque gets in, I'll be ordering some - can't seem to find a supplier that actually has shops to buy them from, it only seems to be mail order - which will, of course, be too late for this winter's snow, I guess... :rolleyes:

Edited by Hedganian

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But seriously, what's the deal with all these people buying 4x4s that don't have off-road capable tyres on them? The most off-roading they do is parking at Waitrose, so what the hell are they driving Land Rovers for??

Back when I had my landie it was fitted with Colway tyres with treads big enough to swallow whole rabbits.

On motorways it used to make a loud "ZZZZZzzzzzzzz" noise which was, of course, drowned out by all the other noises a landie makes at speeds greater than 10mph.

 

I suspect that most Chelsea Tractors are fitted with road-biased tyres in order to minimise disturbance during telephone calls or spoil todays episode of The Archers on the way home from The City. :rolleyes:

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The local post office almost succeeded at making me go postal. Those lazy gits were fooling about with my Colt SAA for the last ten days and apparently will deliver it tomorrow. If they do. The customs procedures took the whole previous week, and why?

Monday: they send me the note asking for my personal info and translation of the invoice.

Tuesday: I pick up the note and send my reply.

Wednesday: my reply is clanking about in the sorting office.

Thursday: my reply arrives.

Friday: I call the lazy sods asking if they already cleared the package. They say they have it planned for the day, but may run out of time and move it to "Monday, maybe Tuesday". Well *fruitcage* you, gentlemen, who even let you into that duty?

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Hed, those are the exact ones I have and they are very good.

I think Michelin invented them so theirs are a bit more...

 

Their is a shop near me that has them but it is a chandlers and cable splicing/inspection place that also do garden rope products.

Weird I know.

 

So I don't know what kind of chain of shops you could even start looking in...

 

Today I was doing a conversion course to a new piece of equipment, the guy taking the course told us we were pressed for time, I assume that's why he only spent the first two hours spouting irrelevant waffle.

 

Oh well.

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People who drive at dawn in one of the worst affected areas, in a black car covered in snow refusing to put lights on because THEY are able to see!

Lights are so people can see you, you complete *wheelbarrow*! This was right next to a few stationary cars helping a kid who had slipped on the ice while on their paper route.

How much effort does it take to flick a switch and how exactly is it going to effect your performance?!?

 

Also people who think the best way to get up hills in snow is to floor the throttle and slide about the road until they make it.

On my theory test I was asked what to do if I was towing a caravan and it started to snake; what is the chance of me doing that at 17? Nothing about snow/ice covered roads, which explains the lack of ability of a lot of drivers

Edited by triggerhappy16

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*snip*

 

People of south England: You Suck.

 

You only just realised this?

 

 

On topic:

People who are detered by a couple of inches of snow. It gets even worse when they are detered by the snow.... when the roads are clear.

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The snow hasn't got in my way. Ironically, I was snowboarding in France when it kicked off.

 

Got home yesterday to find my local area held to ransom by about an inch of snow.

 

Ironic that I'd spent the previous 16 hours on a coach traveling through France from the Alps. No problems.

 

I did a bit of window cleaning today, & from my icy ladder laughed as pedestrians & motorists struggled to get anywhere because of a little snow, ice & a just above zero cold snap.

 

Knowing that just 24 hours earlier I was enjoying the hospitality of a fully functioning town 5,000 feet above sea level,under 3 feet of snow, with an average temp of -20C: Phoned up a pizza delivery company while I was out there, it was delivered to my hotel room within 20 minutes.

 

Phoned Dominoes in West London, last night to be told, Health & Safety prohibited deliveries 'with all this snow'! :lol: Welcome home. :(

 

 

Greg.

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At the end of the day, it's simple - places that always get severe snow and icy winters are going to be better prepared for it. Here, where it's still relatively rare, we're not. Why? Because the bean counters don't want to buy 20 snow ploughs and 40 gritters per 10-square-miles because for over 9-months of the year they sit around costing money and doing nothing.

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<snip>

I overtook a stranded Land Rover Discovery on a hill yesterday in my MKI Skoda Octavia.

 

People of south England: You Suck.

 

huzzah! the mk.1's (a4's as we call them in the trade, the newer shapes are the A5's) octavias are awesome! standard, or vRS edition?

 

On topic, it really ###### me off when customers come in complaining that their front windscreen wipers arent working "that'll be the fuse, then" (standard thing on all skoda fabias, there's no overload cut off so if they're frozen to the screen, the motor just keeps drawing power until the fuse blows) "oh, no, i've check all my fuses!" really? well come in and we'll have a look. one 10amp fuse and 30 seconds later "well i never! they were fine when i checked!"

 

idiots! <_<

 

Stunt: you have a PM.

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Children....other people's children.

 

Yes I dislike them in person, in my house and in general. However even worse are the new parents....

 

No I don't want a photo of your child this Xmas dressed as santa/elf/reindeer or even a pumpkin at halloween. And seriously do you really expect me to put it on display to further your own smugness?

 

But worst of all are the new parents who keep asking my other half and I "When are you going to have kids?"

 

THE ANSWER IS NEVER - PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE PUT US OFF!!!!!!

 

We also like buying nice, expensive things / Holidays / £ 5k on Systema PTWs etc. We are enjoying our lives thank you very much and don't feel the need to spawn another child on the planet to justify our existance...give me another back lab anyday, at least you can train that to the gun...

 

Red

Edited by Red5

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I confess. The real reason is that I love kids so much I haven't the heart to say no when they ask me for sweeties. I'm positively angelic! :innocent:

 

Btw your nick is a reference to Wedge Antilles right?

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Yay!! Rant time…

 

1) The “Santafication” of Christmas!!! He’s FATHER CHRISTMAS…I am not German, I am not American, I am..in fact..ENGLISH (Not British…bloody Welsh) and to me he is Father Christmas. Even my Kids are coming home from School saying he’s “Santa”…WTFingF!!

 

2) The Welsh

 

3) Christmas as a whole…way to go Catholics…steal MY Yuletide will ya!

 

4) Drivers who stay in the Middle Lane of a Motorway…it’s a MOTORWAY not a Freeway. Please refer back to the Highway code and retake your *frootcagio* driving lessons as you phishing well can’t drive!

 

5) The Welsh, and Wales in general. (I’m an anti-welsh bigot and comfortable with that, next to the “Ginners” they’re the worlds greatest threat *wink*)

 

6) Ginger haired men…one word “Abomination”, two words… “Hair Dye”, use it.

 

*Disclaimer: unilateral, bigoted comments accepted in good faith, ‘cos I is Spescil*

 

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