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My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

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Well, it's nearly Christmas! A time to laugh and joke, to sing and... who am I trying to kid? I hate this time of year, it always makes me irritable and angry. And that tends to spill into other areas

ahhh.... that reminds me...   The losers who say that I'm wasting my money on airsoft... you spend $4000 on an ATV... and you accuse me of wasting money??

Wow, you've chosen to play today's edition of 'Wheel of Fortune!'   Let's see what you've won!   CONGRATULATIONS! For using homophobic language (because I'm sure as *suitcase* you're not calling m

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Next person to go on about that will have it tested up his bunghole... I'm trying to not get the thread locked, dude.


Don't worry, like all threads in off topic that get banned another more inane and pointless one will take it's place, it is just a case of who is first off the bat to start said new thread.


But it is only meant in the spirit of light hearted banter, nothing extremely rude or offensive has been said to anyone so it is all fine ok?





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There are children involved in this.


Ok that is where i draw the line.


About 30 miles past everyone else lines but i suppose i have to draw one somewhere. ;)


But anyway, like i say we haven't hurt anyone and what we are discussing is, as far as i can tell, open and honest. It is not like we are making loads of stuff up just to prove we are big men.



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I don't like it when your out with a few mates having a good time but then you have to call it a night 'cause you've got work in the morning :(


I got a text at about 7pm from an ex/friend asking if I fancied going for a drive 'cause shes just passed her test. So we end up in a pub having a few drinks (shes drinking J2O BTW) and she says that shes scared of driving home in the dark on her own and asks if I want to go back to hers ;) So what do I do? I decline because I've got work tomorrow and a semi-important client meeting :yikes: But I have arranged to meet her tomorrow so we'll see where it goes from there :P


So there you go guys, I could be knuckle deep in vag right now but I decided to do the right thing instead. Goddamn conscience <_<



Edited by Silent_Assassin
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Or just some *fruitcage* man power and determination.


You people and your 'energy' drinks and food.


Should just have gone and got knee deep in clunge!


Not me, I need sleep and I have porn


If your porn is that boring, download something better eh :D



Edited by FireKnife
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That Snickers advert.


First of all it should be a "Marathon" I think we are all agreed on that.


Second Mr T saying "cold water never hurt nobody".


It's a double negative and it's not true either, what about all the people who were on the Titanic and all the bloke onthe Piper-A.


Rubbish really.

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The CHILDREN, won't somebody please think of the CHILDREN!

That's just wrong mate.


You need to take a long hard look at yourself. You're a mod, you should know better. I'm a hair's breath away from reporting you. :unsure:


It's the 'gripes' thread. I'm 'griping'. ;)




Edited by greg
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Second Mr T saying "cold water never hurt nobody".


It's a double negative and it's not true either, what about all the people who were on the Titanic and all the bloke onthe Piper-A.


perhaps that was his intention all along? to lull the poor sap into a false sense of security with the use of double negatives when in fact it was a clever ruse to have the toe dipping mincer suffer some hideous cold mater related injury!


we really need a tin foil hat emoticon here :unsure:

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Unless they get AIDS


Then suit up.


Actually that is a gripe of mine, stupid people that don't understand the risks of AIDS and not wearing a condom. It's isn't just the fear of getting a girl pregnant it is also a way to make sure you don't get killed off by something bad.


It isn't exactly a problem to put one on either, i find it is best to keep it in your hands then when you go down on your girlfriend go no hands for a few seconds to slip it on, she is still on the way to a climax and your ready to dive straight in. And you know it is safe (well 99%).



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Baby on Board signs.


I dont care that you ****. I dont care that you **** more than I do. I dont care one jot that you ****ed one or a few times and caused a chemical chain reaction that has created a little pink squishy thing that will grow up to **** even more.


I dont care what their names are. Unless they're something like "Dong-head" and "Gonorrhea". That makes me laugh. I dont care that they graduated college. Lots of people do it. So what?


I dont give a flying chicken poop if you consider yourself a proud grandparent or a yummy mummy. Lets face it, after popping out a couple of little worm-eaters, you probably aint yummy no more. All those late nights of eating pizza while little poo-poo-pants screams for the attention you aint giving it have destroyed any last vestige of your yumminess. You are so un-yummy, even a starving cannibal would go "AWWW HELL NO!".


And finally...last but not least...I care less than I do about the national anthem of Swaziland than I do about the fact you are a 'Mum-To-Be'.


None of these signs are going to make me drive any differently, or respect you any more. In fact, I'm going to go fit some bull-bars and spikes to my Dennis Dart so it looks like that Beetle from The Cars That Ate Paris. Because if I'm gonna hit you, I'm gonna do it right and make this world one moron or maybe more lighter than it was before.


And then I will burn all your god-damned signs.

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They should be illegal.


A fireman went back to a burning car to fetch a baby that was - according to the sign- on board.

The car went up and he was killed.

There was no baby in it, the owner had just left the sign in the car.



A simple reason why the baby on board signs should be illegal.

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