My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

[Hedganian]

Hey, I drive a car - want to make something of it?

 

Tell you what, bring your best bike, I'll drive down, and we'll hurtle into a head-on smash doing 90mph each, and we'll see who comes off best.

[Spudgun]

Yup, that sums it up for heap of 4-wheel drivers I've come across. They have this mind set of 'I'm in a safe car, so I can drive like a total pratt'. 4x4 drivers are the worst. The ones I've been almost creamed by have this attitude of 'I've got a huge vehicle, you've got a small bike, you WILL make way for me, even if I'm in the wrong'!

[GuzziHero]

Hey, I drive a car - want to make something of it?

 

Tell you what, bring your best bike, I'll drive down, and we'll hurtle into a head-on smash doing 90mph each, and we'll see who comes off best.

 

Fine.

 

But if I live, I use a bus for the rematch

[Hedganian]

That's fine, I know a guy who'll lend me a Chally 2...

[amateurstuntman]

It was 100,000.

There was a finished house up the road sold for 145,000 a couple of months ago.

The place is a bit of a mess but we should be able to get the basics done for 8 to 10 grand.

The plumbing and electric will come to about 4½ and there will still be an ugly gaping wound where there should be a kitchen.

 

Then all it will take is some plaster, a lick of paint and some furniture and we'll be able to get some foster kids in.

 

It's all a big adventure.

 

It's funny how plans change, if my surveyor hadn't found asbestos in the other house I'd be in a completely finished 3 bed and riding a motorbike to work (remember the thread?). Now I am in a place 500 yards from work that needs all my motorbike money to rebuild it.

 

*edit*

Chally 2? I have access to 2 of only 12 Euro-kit HMEEs in existence, 40+ mph self leveling suspension night vision, armour.

Almost road legal.

[Stealthbomber]

Oooh, I got a house related one too.

 

Timer for the immersion heater blew up the other week.

Just got around to purchasing a replacement and went to fit it today.

 

Thing is, as it turns out, that some f**king retard (who fitted my new kitchen last year) had decided to tile over the wiring and then, to top things off, built a row of fitted cupboards over the junction box.

Having chiselled off half a dozen tiles (the missus wasn't happy about that) and then taken the cupboards off the walls again, it's become apparent that the whole malarkey could have been avoided simply by fitting the bloody cupboards to the walls 2" higher up.

Absolutely no idea why the cupboards absolutely had to be at that particular height.

[Triggerhappychappy]

Just to annoy you no doubt

 

Todays rant: the price of razers*.

 

Needed to replace my rusting old 3 blade disposables that I've had for far too long, so pop along to Boots and take a look at their quite good selection; *fruitcage* me. £8-15 for some silly 4 or 5 bladed bloody razer, and then about the same again for a pack or 3 or 4 replacement heads? No thanks ta, so I went with the Boots own-brand 3 bladed razers 4 pac for the princely sum of ~£4. Wow, they are actually really good & didnt cut my face to pieces like a lot of cheap disposables can do sometimes.

 

* I know, they've always been expensive technically, but anyway..

[GuzziHero]

It was 100,000.

 

No offence but...

 

ONE HUNDRED BAT-LOVING GRAND?

 

Is that what somewhat-damaged houses go for these days?

 

Jesus mother-lovin', I'm glad I inherited this house...

[Hedganian]

Just to annoy you no doubt

 

Todays rant: the price of razers*.

 

Needed to replace my rusting old 3 blade disposables that I've had for far too long, so pop along to Boots and take a look at their quite good selection; *fruitcage* me. £8-15 for some silly 4 or 5 bladed bloody razer, and then about the same again for a pack or 3 or 4 replacement heads? No thanks ta, so I went with the Boots own-brand 3 bladed razers 4 pac for the princely sum of ~£4. Wow, they are actually really good & didnt cut my face to pieces like a lot of cheap disposables can do sometimes.

 

* I know, they've always been expensive technically, but anyway..

 

Perhaps you mean razors?

[GuzziHero]

Yup, that sums it up for heap of 4-wheel drivers I've come across. They have this mind set of 'I'm in a safe car, so I can drive like a total pratt'. 4x4 drivers are the worst. The ones I've been almost creamed by have this attitude of 'I've got a huge vehicle, you've got a small bike, you WILL make way for me, even if I'm in the wrong'!

 

 

My fave one so far happened last week. Im in a bus station in an Optare Solo. Light to exit turns green. I see a car coming through the red from my left, it goes past, and another follows it! I think 'sod it' and go anyway and pull in between them. Woman driver then berates me for pulling out on her... When I tell her she ran a red, she just tells me to **** off, and that I still shouldnt have pulled out on her.

 

Car drivers ALWAYS think theyre in the right no matter what they do. I accidentally pull out because a car has an indicator on when he's not turning, I gesture an apology. Same thing happens when someone rounds a roundabout without an indicator on, I apologise again. If a car driver is in the wrong, 9/10 times he will blame the other person for it.

[greg]

Tell you what, bring your best bike, I'll drive down, and we'll hurtle into a head-on smash doing 90mph each, and we'll see who comes off best.

I hate to tell you this but two mates of mine have done exactly that, with fatal consequences:

 

The first was an fz750 v's a lorry & obviously the rider (god rest his soul) was killed instantly. It was the riders fault, he was on the wrong side of the road, doing about 140.

 

The second was his best mate, about a year later on a 1000rx. He was doing a similar speed & a car driver pulled out of a side turning. The rider over braked & was thrown clear, suffering little more than a bruised shoulder. The bike went straight through the car, killing both the driver & passenger, god rest their souls.

 

Had they both been doing the speed limit, no one would be dead.

 

Either way, I wouldn't be so sure you are all that safe in your tin box.

 

Yup, that sums it up for heap of 4-wheel drivers I've come across. They have this mind set of 'I'm in a safe car, so I can drive like a total pratt'. 4x4 drivers are the worst. The ones I've been almost creamed by have this attitude of 'I've got a huge vehicle, you've got a small bike, you WILL make way for me, even if I'm in the wrong'!

I couldn't agree more. I hate road bully's. In my younger, (more stupid) days, I was a little hot tempered & would take revenge by giving them a £50 fine. Back then, that's how much it cost to repair the damage left by a size 9 sidi motor cross boot.

 

A GS riding mate of mine recently had a situation where a guy wanted to come into his lane. The GS rider decided to hold his course & the car kinda slowly shifted across, assuming the bike would move. Bless him, as he held his course even as they made contact. The car driver then hit the breaks & they came to a stop. The only damage was to the car, where the GS's top box had dented the rear panel. Despite 2, following whitenesses, the car driver tried to claim this was down to the biker,,,,,,,,,,,, for not moving out of the way! What a *Ubar*.

 

 

Greg.

[amateurstuntman]

No offence but...

 

ONE HUNDRED BAT-LOVING GRAND?

 

Is that what somewhat-damaged houses go for these days?

 

Jesus mother-lovin', I'm glad I inherited this house...

 

 

Well, I did some checking and a house like mine in a finished state in Stoke on Trent would cost 65 to 75 thousand.

So I imagine it would seem pricey to you.

This town is a major commuter hub for London, it is only 40 minutes on the train so lots of people want to live here.

My house is a 15 minute walk from the train station, 300 yards from the bypass with good access to both motorways.

It is also rural enough to her the birds tweet and out the back of my house there is a load of flowering trees.

 

Seems expensive but it is the cheapest house that any of my group of friends live in by about 60 thousand.

 

I'll never have to move again if I get this right.

 

On the subject of idiot drivers:

Where I live now means I have to use a roundabout that I didn't before.

I have to use it every time I leave the house.

If I am turning right (which I do all the time) somebody always pulls out in front of me. Always.

I thought you gave way to traffic approaching from the right?

 

It can't just be every driver in the world misjudging my speed, I'm indicating correctly but I have used my horn more times this week than in the last 6 months.

 

Thing is, if I hit one of these buffoons the "safe" part of my car, the front, is going to slam through their 2 inch thick door right into the driver's seat.

Is it really worth certain death to cut me up?

[Stealthbomber]

FWIW, I didn't mean to start a "car vs bike" thing.

When you're on a bike you pretty much assume every car driver IS going to act like a nob and you're never usually surprised.

 

What bugs me is, as a pedestrian, drivers seem to treat you like you're scum.

I know I shouldn't get in the way of cars but if there are no cars coming when I start to cross the road and then one roars up while I'm in the middle of the road it wouldn't kill them to actually use a little situational awareness, ease off the gas and give me chance to finish crossing before they arrive.

Instead they remain at exactly 29.9mph, arrive in front of me as I'm walking and then glare at me.

 

The worst one is when you're trying to cross a side-road adjoining a busy main road.

I stand on the pavement and look for signs of any car indicating. They're all nose-to-tail with nobody indicating so there's no sign that anybody is going to turn so I start to cross the side-road.

That's when, inevitably, some test-pilot WILL get about 10ft from the junction, indicate and then turn into the side-road without braking.

Again, with the application of a little situational awareness, a driver can easily see a pedestrian waiting to cross the road.

The driver will (I assume) know they're going to turn into that side-road and (in my little head at least) should indicate not only to make other car drivers aware of thier intentions but to warn pedestrians too.

 

It baffles me how any driver (car or bike) can be trundling along a road, see a pedestrian start to cross a side-road in front of them THEN indicate, turn into the same side-road and act all upset cos there's a pedestrian in front of them.

 

To me, the thing that highlights most IS the total lack of awareness these drivers have.

It's like they're in a trance and aren't aware of anything that isn't directly in front of them.

 

Ages ago I was hit by a driver turning into his driveway.

I was walking along a suburban pavement minding my own business and the next thing I know I'm bouncing across a car bonnet.

Turned out that a car was driving along the road the same way I was walking (thus, was behind me) and just turned into their drive when they reached it regardless of the fact that I was walking across it.

The driver (a 40-something woman) said "You just stepped out in front of me".

Eh?

I was on the chuffing pavement!

 

TBH, I'm not sure what the law is there.

I mean, I guess I could have looked over my shoulder as I cross each driveway but, c'mon, I'm on a pavement.

I just wonder if a driver still has right of way when entering their drive?

I mean, they are, effectively, driving across a pavement to get to their drive and the pavement is for pedestrians, right?

 

 

Another moan, kinda related to something Hedg' and Greg were talking about, is when people on car/bike forums go on about how sad it is when somebody gets killed.

Obviously it's always a tragedy when somebody dies but, I gotta say, I'm a firm believer in learning from mistakes. Preferably other peoples.

If we don't learn from mistakes then we're doomed to repeat them and, for that reason, when some nob on a bike decides to splatter himself over a house or when somebody tries to find out if their convertible car handles better upside down then if they did something wrong we need to acknowledge it rather tham mindlessly sympathising with them.

 

Never ceases to amaze me how far up their own bottoms some peoples heads are.

"I was driving along and, when the truck appeared, I couldn't get back onto my own side of the road cos I would have hit the guy I was overtaking. To avoid a head-on collision I HAD to drive through the fence which was when I hit the tree. It was the only thing I could do".

Etc.

Get a forking grip.

Understand that your mistake happened long before you found yourself alongside a car with a truck heading toward you and that it WAS a totally preventable accident if you'd acted differently.

 

Or, to summarise, everybody slower than me is a moron and everybody faster is a maniac.

[Azubi]

Stealth, she would have been at fault as she had to cross a pavement.

 

It always amazes me that many people lack situational awareness too. My villamate is a perfect example of this. He has driven into the back of two cars that I am aware of in as many months at traffic lights because he simply hasn't been paying attention. One of them was into the back of a car when we were all convoying down to a place and he was fannying around with his ipod as opposed to watching where we was going and another time he drove into the back of a X5, again when he wasn't paying attention. He's never had to drive far, did 6-7 miles to work each day back in England and hardly ever left Preston.

 

As for roundabouts, you are supposed to give way to traffic coming from the right. Many people don't seem to realise this, nor do they know where they are supposed to be positioned on a roundabout. Saying that, is it many people, or is it just that we notice the few people doing it all wrong and ignore those doing it right? I went across Snake Pass from Sheffield to Manchester on the way home from airsofting last Sunday and it was raining and it's very windy and there were a group of 3 bikers riding like complete and utter twunts. They were speeding up to blind corners, overtaking cars. It's easy for me to sit there in my car say "*fruitcage* *albartroth* bikers, all riding like pricks" but it wouldn't be true as there were other groups riding sensibly. Just like not all car drivers are ignorant pricks who don't know how to drive either.

[Hedganian]

It's easy for me to sit there in my car say "*fruitcage* *albartroth* bikers, all riding like pricks" but it wouldn't be true as there were other groups riding sensibly. Just like not all car drivers are ignorant pricks who don't know how to drive either.

 

QFT

 

I'm a military trained driver, I have so far passed THREE driving tests and plan at least two more in the next few months, when I go away for my HGV course. I generally think I have a pretty good idea what I'm supposed to be doing while on the road.

 

I'm also a cyclist. It's obvious that most car drivers either don't notice bicycles on the road, or genuinely believe that they shouldn't be there. I have taken off several wing mirrors from cars cutting too close to me, in a few cases getting knocked down in the process. Drivers seem upset by this, regardless of the fact that it's their fault. A bike is as wide as its handlebars, NOT its tyres, give cyclists room! You should overtake a bike with the same amount of space as a car - not a few inches if that.

 

I have been run off the road by cars driving in the bicycle lane for no reason. I have nearly been killed by a Jaguar illegally overtaking me on a roadabout while I was clearly indicating to turn right - said driver then told his insurance company that the collision was my fault because I was in the wrong lane. A lie - read the Highway Code, a bicycle turning right at a roadabout can and will stay on the left as it is too dangerous to cross into the middle of the roundabout, go around then cross back to the exit they want....

 

But I also notice people on bikes - I won't call them cyclists, they don't deserve the name - who run red lights, hop on and off the pavement, go the wrong way up one way streets, cycle at night on a black bike in dark clothes with no lights, and so on. It's no excuse for motorists to treat anyone on a bike like a target, but I can kinda understand it.

 

A friend of mine once stopped at a red light on his bike and another bike overtook him and was about to go through the light when he reached out and grabbed the back of the guy's seat, bringing him to a halt (my friend had extremely good upper body strength and the other bike wasn't going that fast). The guy turns around to shout abuse at my friend just as a 44-footer hurtled through the junction in the exact space where the moron on the bike would have been if he'd gone ahead. The guy turned white, realising his narrow escape. My friend looked him right in the eye and said "Red lights mean stop. Next time, I won't be here." and rode on as the light turned green.

 

The point is that whatever vehicle you're in control of, or even on foot - there are rules that apply to you on the road. Read the Highway Code, follow it, and everyone will be better off.

[amateurstuntman]

Nobody reads the highway code.

I have been in countless arguments over its contents. Even Stealth who I believe to be a good driver made a common mistake.

 

Motorists can never have "right of way" they can only have priority over other road users.

If you are part way into crossing a road and a motorist turns into the road they have to stop for you, it's the law.

 

Nobody knows for instance that if your exit is blocked on a roundabout you are not allowed to go onto the roundabout, if it becomes blocked as you approach it you are supposed to keep going round until it is free.

If everybody did that roundabouts would work.

 

One thing that bothers me, aside from situational awareness is spatial awareness.

One road I have to drive up quite often is plagued by traffic calming measures.

Parked cars on the side then a gap with a big traffic island in the middle.

I can drive in an arrow straight line along that road, missing parked cars and the traffic islands easily, it seems like everyone else can only get past them by wildly slaloming from left to right and driving into the oncoming lane.

 

It makes me angry because I know these are the same people who hold me up in the road I live in crawling through gaps a couple of feet wider than the car as if they a mms away from loosing paint on both sides.

 

Morons.

[Hedganian]

Roundabouts would work a lot better of the idiots in Council road planning departments didn't put traffic lights on the exits to stop cars trying to leave, thus backing traffic up onto the roundabout.

 

While the Highway Code says you're supposed to keep going around if your exit is blocked - how many cars can realisticly keep circling the roundabout before there is no room for more?

[GuzziHero]

Roundabouts. Car drivers can't exit because of a tailback or aforementioned STUPID ****ING PEDDIE LIGHTS right after the exit, so they'll just block off the traffic trying to cross from the left...

 

I caught a 'superior' at work quoting the highway code wrong. He insisted that buses, like HGVs, are restricted to 40 in national speed limited single carriageways. Nope...

 

I totally HATE car drivers. I will quantify this by making 2 exemptions:

 

a. car drivers who also have a licence in another category such as truck drivers, bus drivers or bikers. These people are a higher form of intelligence than car drivers and usually driver better regardless of what theyre in. Van drivers are not exempt. My mate is a van driver and is the worst driver I have ever had to travel with...except some taxi drivers.

 

b. car drivers when they aren't in their cars. Like I said earlier, people can be highly intelligent and well-mannered and they're fine people to know. They don't become a car driver till they sit in the idiot seat and turn the key. Then, their braincells all go asleep until the engine stops. It's like the feeling of safety they get when driving acts as a general anaesthetic. They wake up at the end of the drive with no goddamn idea of what just happened.

 

I blame modern cars. They coddle the occupants so much that it's like snuggling up in a warm duvet. And you know what happens when you snuggle up in a warm duvet. You go to sleep...

[amateurstuntman]

Not me.

 

I'll admit that I drive in a fashion that most people would class as "dangerous".

 

However, by driving slightly faster than most people are comfortable with in combination with actually paying attention to what is happening around me I maintain that overall I am a safer driver than an oxygen thief who drives slowly but doesn't know what is going on.

 

The other difference is my car.

 

I don't choose tyres based on price I choose them based on performance.

I upgraded my brakes.

My car rides hard, it doesn't cosset me.

The clutch bites hard in the same place every time.

The gearshift it short and free of slop.

I have fitted a quick steering rack and polybushes.

 

Now it may not be a Caterham 7 but I am much more connected to the road, I can feel changes in road surface and act accordingly, in poor weather I can feel the difference in the grip and traction available to me.

 

I am familiar with the limits of performance that my car is capable of and I know when I am near them.

 

Unlike almost every other driver on the road I love to drive.

 

I drove my friend's Focus estate diesel and it was like sitting in a bucket of wallpaper paste looking at a video of a road going past.

[Stealthbomber]

Nobody reads the highway code.

I have been in countless arguments over its contents. Even Stealth who I believe to be a good driver made a common mistake.

 

Motorists can never have "right of way" they can only have priority over other road users.

Fair comment.

It's more a turn of phrase than an absolute truth though.

 

I used to be quite involved with boats, including moving them around on the roads.

Often used to irk me when, as you're trundling a 30ft powerboat up a street towed by a tractor, some twunt would start down the road from the opposite end, knowing full-well that there wasn't going to be room to pass.

Yes, the road might have had a "priority from other direction" sign on it but you weren't there when I started to drive along it.

Just cos you've now appeared at the "priority" end of the street what do you expect me to do? Beam myself up to the mothership so you can get past?

 

Same thing with traffic lights. Yes, I know you're not supposed to cross them unless there's room to get to the other side but, again, when you're towing a 30ft boat you can't really leave 50ft of space cos some cock from another direction will fill up the space.

So the lights go red and then more nobs from opposing directions will pull out and try and force their way in front of me.

Green does NOT mean "go". It means "Go if there's no obstruction".

 

Roundabouts would work a lot better of the idiots in Council road planning departments didn't put traffic lights on the exits to stop cars trying to leave, thus backing traffic up onto the roundabout.

 

...STUPID ****ING PEDDIE LIGHTS right after the exit, so they'll just block off the traffic trying to cross from the left...

 

This.

 

To be fair, I can sometimes see why they're there. After all, pedestrians need to cross roads too.

However, putting pedestrian crossings at the exits of roundabouts just cos it's convenient is just plain window-licking-retarded.

Just cos it's the easiest solution doesn't mean it's the correct one.

Dig a tunnel and put in a subway or build a bridge.

Instead they put in pedestrian crossing then there are accidents so they put up a speed camera.

Arghhh!

 

I totally HATE car drivers...

 

...I blame modern cars. They coddle the occupants so much that it's like snuggling up in a warm duvet. And you know what happens when you snuggle up in a warm duvet. You go to sleep...

 

To be fair, it's not "drivers" who're muppets. It's car users.

A driver is somebody who knows how many cylinders an AUDI R8 has, who pauses to wipe birdshit off their vehicle, who enjoys taking the long way home in their car and, alas, in later life will go on to own a Ford anorak and wear a flat cap while driving an MGB which spends 362 days a year in their garage.

 

A car user, OTOH, is a person who makes use of a vehicle to move their children to school and as a means of transferring food from Asda shelves to their refrigerator and will, in later life, give up using a car entirely as soon as personal teleportation devices are invented.

 

It's the 2nd group who are a PITA and, alas, they outnumber motorists by about 100 to 1 on our roads.

[amateurstuntman]

All your points are right.

 

A driver will never fill a diesel car with petrol.

A driver will never have their engine blow up because the oil light has been on for 3 weeks.

 

I had to help a guy out this winter.

Fair enough he got stuck on some ice, a lot of people did.

Not knowing his gearbox had a winter mode, not knowing where the cover for his towing point was, not knowing where the screw-in eye for his towing point was and not knowing that you need the key in the ignition when being towed to stop the steering lock from activating.

Those things are not acceptable.

 

The problem was he had quite a nice car, presumably bought by mistake or chance.

[GuzziHero]

New rant: Sonic The Hedgehog.

 

I still play a megadrive regularly, and just bought a Sega collection for PS2 so I could play it on that. And for some reason all my skill and experience with this game has gone right out the window! GAHHHHHHHH!

[Hedganian]

I have long held the belief that modern cars are too comfortable.

 

I *love* getting behind the wheel of military land rovers. They're noisy, uncomfortable, slow, heavy, and fuel-guzzling monsters. But when I drive one - I'm *DRIVING* it. I'm not doing anything else. There's no radio to listen to; no gadgets to fiddle with; no settings to adjust; no heated, electric, massage seat; no cruise control; no automatic functions; no engine management computer... There's nothing to do when behind the wheel except drive the vehicle. Just me and an almost entirely mechanical device around me. If something goes wrong with it, REME guys with spanners can fix it, without the benefits of computers to tell them what the fault codes are.

 

They make me smile, sometimes. People look at me strangely because I will volunteer to drive. Any distance, I don't care. Give me the land rover and send me off somewhere. I don't mind. I'm happy to do it. Beats climbing over assault courses in the rain any day...

 

 

What I don't understand about drivers, same as anyone else - they buy or obtain a new car (or other appliance). Okay, great. Do they read and understand the manual?? NO!

 

 

I did, however, once fill a petrol hire car with diesel. And I'll tell you for why. The army gave me this car. Every other vehicle the army had ever given me to use was diesel. All the green fleet runs on diesel. Even the motorbikes. All the white fleet runs on diesel. We'd always had diesel hire cars previously. This hire car had nothing anywhere to say what fuel it used, except on the "works ticket" (which, in case you don't know, is the piece of paper which authorises the use of the vehicle for the time period or journey involved), which - I admit - I didn't pay that close attention to the space where it says the fuel type.

 

So I put 50 litres of diesel in it after returning on Sunday evening, took it a quarter of a mile to the barracks, finished the paperwork, left it and went home on the train. On Monday morning, I've got the admin officer on the phone giving me chapter and verse. To which I was very apologetic and said that if the hire car used a different fuel to every other vehicle in the armed forces, why wasn't it clearly labelled. All the diesel hire cars say DIESEL on the dashboard, on the fuel cap, on the keyring, everything. This one didn't say anything. I was tired and I didn't think about it. Sorry...

 

They didn't give me another hire car, after that.

[amateurstuntman]

Army Rovers aren't slow, take the speed limiter out and they'll do 100mph.

 

The speed limiter is a bolt in the accelerator that hits the floor before the pedal, limiting its travel, unscrew it and you get more throttle and more top end.

 

Boom! Tonne time.

[Hedganian]

The new ones we have don't have bolts in the accelerator pedal. They're still slow.

 

We have two new Wolf landies, though, but I've not been fammed on them yet so not allowed to drive them. (It's the army, they insist you need 3 days to learn how to drive one type of landy, even though you already know how to drive another type... )