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Unless she has a fetish and likes to be chained up in the yard? Someone out there must.

 

 

 

Yeah, the problem is that the yard tends to be fairly open to view, and then the police get involved, and even if she *wants* to be chained there, you still get into trouble for "Outraging Public Decency" <_<

 

Buy a house with a basement, it's much more private. Invest in some good soundproofing, and you're golden. :D

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.... i'm talking about cooking you perverted bastards

 

Be the modern man, cook for her you lazy sod :P

 

Mine has skills, they all just involve bending, shaping and certain assets that i get to use.

 

and you're golden

 

.......showered :P. Maybe she likes that too.

 

'FireKnife'

Edited by FireKnife
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Be the modern man, cook for her you lazy sod :P

 

I actually cook better than her ... i was of course talking about other "skills" that are usually performed in bed.

 

.......showered :P. Maybe she likes that too.

 

This is heading very fast to the "i seriously don't *fruitcage* want to know for *fruitcage* sake" territory.

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You sick *fruitcage*....

 

Come on, i was only joking. Though the fact that some people actually do that freaks me out somewhat.

 

:P

 

i was of course talking about other "skills" that are usually performed in bed.

 

So long as she can say the same about you :P

 

'FireKnife'

Edited by FireKnife
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Fireknife I think you have clearly established that you have a strong sex drive, enjoy dirty women, and can think of an euphemism from almost anything. These "Attributes" shall be remembered by all who have read them and will thus no longer need reminding, hourly, of them.

 

Please carry on good sir's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Edited by boomheadshot (infidel)
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Rant: When Arnies has a "Database Error" for hours....

 

Whole *fruitcage* day more like :P

 

Where is Marlowe when you need him? ;)

 

These "Attributes" shall be remembered by all who have read them and will thus no longer need reminding, hourly, of them.

 

You must be reminded every day :P Until i or Arnies dies.

 

Anyway new rant: NHS. How come when i have an appointment for 11am i have to wait and am only one of two people in the waiting room. I mean it wasn't an important appointment but i saw medical staff with tags on walking around and not doing anything. Then when they do call me up as i pass to the practitioners room all the other rooms are empty? No wonder people complain when the medical staff spend most of the time prancing around and not actually seeing the patients at the right time. <_<

 

That and the woman behind the receptionist counter had one hell of a moustache, any more growth and she would have looked like Freddie Mercury :P

 

Coprophilia

 

I Google'd that, saw scat and clicked the back button so fast the computer nearly froze.

 

'FireKnife'

Edited by FireKnife
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That and the woman behind the receptionist counter had one hell of a moustache, any more growth and she would have looked like Freddie Mercury :P

 

with your reputation, that probably gave you a twitch...

 

:P

 

 

i would have been posting sooner, this thread is my new favourite thing, but not been able to get on here all day due to aforementioned database errors!

 

edit; new rant

 

that t**t on the gilette adverts who bounces into the gym changing room, whooping and back slapping.

 

if he tried that when i was there, he would probably soon be picking his teeth up with broken fingers.*

 

for some reason, that ad really riles me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*if i bothered going to the gym any more :P

 

 

edit 2, does the swear filter even work? t**t got through, and so does b*****ds.

Edited by shmook
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you guys are doing a sterling job about everything regarding the smooth runing of the forum, apologies if i sounded like i was whinging about being off here for a few hours like a petulent child, that wasnt the case.

 

was just wondering what was going on, and im sure we all appreciate the effort everyone* puts into the runing of this place :)

 

 

 

 

*meaning the mods, not the regs who manage to derail every thread at the earliest opportunity :P

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*meaning the mods, not the regs who manage to derail every thread at the earliest opportunity

 

That's why i am here :P

 

Yeah and from a humanitarian perspective, Fireknife almost had to talk to someone today.

 

Was more interested in chatting to the hot 21yr old girl sat next to me, then i remembered where i was and thought, 'hang on a minute, why is she here?'

 

So THAT'S why our threat level rose a few levels ...

 

Trust me, i have a special level for that kind of thing :P

 

'FireKnife'

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I meant a real someone but yeah ok ;)

 

She was real, she didn't have those clearly airbrushed out bits on her :P

 

I can't wait til the GF gets back. That and free house for two weekends, it is true that good things come to those who wait.

 

'FireKnife'

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Was more interested in chatting to the hot 21yr old girl sat next to me, then i remembered where i was and thought, 'hang on a minute, why is she here?'

 

You were in the STD clinic, right? :flamed:

 

I can't wait til the GF gets back. That and free house for two weekends, it is true that good things come to those who wait.

 

I've been waiting years. It's getting beyond a joke now... <_<

 

Oh, and shut the hell up, you smug git, or I will END you! :P

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You were in the STD clinic, right?

 

GUM clinic to be pedantic but yeah, i get a regular check ever 6 months. I just like to know and get about 60 free condoms each time. :P

 

Oh, and shut the hell up, you smug git, or I will END you!

 

Give it another 2 months and i will be single again myself anyway, somtimes bad things come to those that wait :P

 

I've been waiting years. It's getting beyond a joke now...

 

Hate to sound harsh her but have you actually been actively looking? What ways have you looked at finding someone?

 

'FireKnife'

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It doesn't matter. Wherever or however I meet them, no matter how awesome things are, a few months later they leave for no good reason, and never want to talk to me again.

 

I'm obviously doing something wrong. The last one chose going back to her abusive ex over staying with me, despite everything seeming to me to be beyond fantastic.

 

*Sigh*

 

I don't know. But never mind, if I'm lucky I won't have to worry about it for long after I leave for Afghan...

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It doesn't matter. Wherever or however I meet them, no matter how awesome things are, a few months later they leave for no good reason, and never want to talk to me again.

 

Look at it this way, you found someone, they showed an interest in you and you made something of it. Ok it didn't last but hell none of my relationships get past the 6 month barrier (well one has) but i don't worry about it, i just move on a look for the next person.

 

However i always find someone in the oddest places and when i least expect it, annoyingly when i am not settled were i am, or in the money as it were.

 

'FireKnife'

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