shmook Posted January 23, 2015 Report Share Posted January 23, 2015 Near, it's just that if he managed it yesterday, surely I can do it today. I have been inwardly chuckling as I watched him spend an hour at it this afternoon. Progressing from WD40 to screwdrivers to hitting the key with a hammer. Oh how I also laughed as he had to arrange recovery for it. I got my early dart. I will also get paid tomorrow morning as I meet the recovery truck and help load it! I've done the grand total of 1 hours work today, yet will be paid from 0730 to 1430, plus an hour or so tomorrow morning at time and a half... Link to post Share on other sites
Gunmane Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 Some sort of kink in the neck for two days now, driving me up the walls amongst other things. Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 Sore throat again. It's been on and off for nearly 2 weeks now, and it's a right hurty *bramston pickle*. I'm rather sick of it returning each time. Link to post Share on other sites
paranoiddroid Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 A sulking partner moaning about being cheated out of seeing korn and slipknot by having to deal with work *suitcase*. Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore1-6 Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 http://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/jan/14/synthetic-biology-spider-goat-geneticsWhy are we messing with genetics? Have they never played Half Life? Or Resident Evil? We don't need mutant goats ables to create high strength defence mechanisms. Link to post Share on other sites
Skarclaw Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 steady on those genetic modifications will allow us to artificially grow super tensile goat legs for use in infantry drones. Link to post Share on other sites
Desolation mkII Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 I look forwards to gaining goat like powers Link to post Share on other sites
scorch Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 The ability to devour and digest anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Desolation mkII Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Including spider milk Link to post Share on other sites
Tw1tch Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Left my codeine in an unsecured locker at work on Saturday (my bad I know, shouldn't have been so eager to get out but I was going out for a quick catch up with a good mate and I'd spent the shift trying to persuade her hah). Some thieving *Ubar* has had it. To say I was fairly grumpy would be an understatement. Link to post Share on other sites
shmook Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Tailgaters. Driving to work through my town, doing 30 (limit). Some knob came screaming up behind me and sat 4 mm off my bumper. I slow down to 25, he gets closer. I slow down to 20, still doesn't take the hint. Little scrote got the message when I stopped in the middle of the road and got out to have a quiet word with him. He suddenly wasn't so big and hard and drove off to somewhere far more important than being up my chuff, which seemed like his life mission up to that point. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_West Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Local courier company. The *Ubarflock*. Friday: they ring me up at 11AM to tell me that they have a parcel for me, worth a hundred quid or thereabouts, and I am to pick it up at home immediately. The problem is, I'm at *fruitcage* work, and I just can't travel halfway through the city in minutes to pick it up. Of course thanks to utterly moronic company regulations, they cannot arrange delivery at a scheduled hour, because *fruitcage* you. Delivering a parcel between 5PM and 6PM is apparently beyond them. The courier starts mumbling something about taking the parcel home and delivering it "later". On a *fruitcage* Friday evening. Taking parcel home. A hundred quid worth of photographic equipment. My only response was "Are you nuts?!" On Monday it turned out that "Are you nuts?!" is a secret company code for "I'm an insufferable *Ubar* and deserve to drag my *albatross* to the company warehouse, located in Zombieland, past the wretched hive of scum, villainy and dilapidated architecture." The bus shows up there twice an hour, and the bus stop is located literally in front of a massive heap of *fruitcage* coal. And I wasted a day off at work for that *suitcase*! Link to post Share on other sites
hitmanNo2 Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 McDonalds tea. Hotter than the devil's bumhole after consuming a Tindaloo followed by a pint of hot sauce. And tastes like it too. Still, on the plus side, hash brown and double sausage and egg McMuffin. Link to post Share on other sites
scorch Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 McDonalds tea. Hotter than the devils bumhole after consuming a Tindaloo followed by a pint of hot sauce. And tastes like it too. Still, on the plus side, hash brown and double sausage and egg McMuffin. McDonalds drinks are proper *suitcase*. As you say, the tea tastes like Satan's sweaty ringpiece, and the coffee is nasty brown bitter-tasting mud. And they always look at me like I shat on their counter when I ask for a milkshake with my breakfast, so I usually have the orange juice. Link to post Share on other sites
hitmanNo2 Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Yeah. Definitely will go for an orange juice next time if they can't comprehend a milkshake. Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore1-6 Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Not to mention the price mark up on anything carbonated. Link to post Share on other sites
Hedganian Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Local courier company. The *Ubarflock*. Friday: they ring me up at 11AM to tell me that they have a parcel for me, worth a hundred quid or thereabouts, and I am to pick it up at home immediately. The problem is, I'm at *fruitcage* work, and I just can't travel halfway through the city in minutes to pick it up. Of course thanks to utterly moronic company regulations, they cannot arrange delivery at a scheduled hour, because *fruitcage* you. Delivering a parcel between 5PM and 6PM is apparently beyond them. The courier starts mumbling something about taking the parcel home and delivering it "later". On a *fruitcage* Friday evening. Taking parcel home. A hundred quid worth of photographic equipment. My only response was "Are you nuts?!" On Monday it turned out that "Are you nuts?!" is a secret company code for "I'm an insufferable *Ubar* and deserve to drag my *albatross* to the company warehouse, located in Zombieland, past the wretched hive of scum, villainy and dilapidated architecture." The bus shows up there twice an hour, and the bus stop is located literally in front of a massive heap of *fruitcage* coal. And I wasted a day off at work for that *suitcase*! I take it you couldn't just have it delivered to work? Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_West Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 I take it you couldn't just have it delivered to work? Nope, as only the sender can change the delivery address, for an additional fee, and the couriers apparently can arrive at 11AM as well as 5PM, depending on whether they can be arsed or not. If I'm done for the day at 4PM, there's really no reason to sit at work until 5PM just because some schmuck couldn't get there on time. That and they apparently don't give a *suitcase* if someone pays extra to have the parcel delivered to a customer at specific time of day. They just take the money and *fruitcage* around like they don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Hedganian Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Sounds about right. Link to post Share on other sites
FireKnife Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Not to mention the price mark up on anything carbonated. I always remember that comment that if McD's sold only burgers they would have a profit margin of 0% but they make up for it with over-priced extras. Also related, the last McD's sold in Iceland over 6 years ago still looks brand new today. It has been left out since the last McD's shut down there. Seriously what is in that *suitcase*? 'FireKnife' Link to post Share on other sites
paranoiddroid Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Wasn't there a TV show years ago where the kid died because he ate a 4 year old maccies burger "teen angel' or something and that did look normal so it wouldn't suprise me if a real mcd burger didn't change. Link to post Share on other sites
FireKnife Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Wasn't there a TV show years ago where the kid died because he ate a 4 year old maccies burger "teen angel' or something and that did look normal so it wouldn't suprise me if a real mcd burger didn't change. The *fruitcage*? Seriously all I recall was shows that were light hearted and silly for kids. Only thing that 'dark' would have been like those weird 80s episodes of Doctor Who. Though I do recall a mystery show with that bloke from Art Attack that was a bit sketchy sometimes. 'FireKnife' Link to post Share on other sites
Cannonfodder80 Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 Also related, the last McD's sold in Iceland over 6 years ago still looks brand new today. It has been left out since the last McD's shut down there. Seriously what is in that *suitcase*? 'FireKnife' Simple. A large ratio of surface area to volume means the burger dries out quickly and so can't rot, just like the way jerky is made. Unfortunately tin foil hat conspiracy theorists who don't understand science think we're being poisoned by the government and big businesseshttps://skepticalteacher.wordpress.com/2010/11/14/the-myth-of-the-non-decomposing-mcdonalds-hamburger/ Link to post Share on other sites
Danke Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 The salt helps too. Link to post Share on other sites
scorch Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 An excerpt from this morning's conversation with a customer. Customer: "I know what I'm talking about, I'm an engineer. You have to send me this part free of charge" Me: "So where did you say the wheel was fouling? I've never heard of them doing that." Customer: "It's fouling on that little silver thing." Me: "Silver thing?" Customer: "Yes, that little silver fixing." Me: "Do you mean the rivet?" Customer: "Yes, that's what its called. Rivet" Me: "So... What kind of engineer did you say you were?" The customer is always right. Except when they're a *fruitcage* liar. Link to post Share on other sites
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