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My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!


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Good news, your auntie Susan just got a new job. Now you've got an in.

My aunt Susan hasn't worked since '91 when she started burning through my uncle Peter's pensions.

 

Humans are natural killers.

 

 

My little sister, at the age of 2, threw a pint glass at my head.

 

Just to see what would happen.

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I have been raging at my ipad more and more recently.

 

I know, I know, but I got it out of convenience as I had an iphone at the time.

 

I hate it.

 

For instance, I use whatsapp for some messaging on my android phone. I foolishly thought I could download the app to ipad and sync the account.

 

There isn't a whatsapp for ipads. What? Really?

 

Also, it keeps trying to autocorrect ipad to the way apple write it, with a capital 'p'. I click the x every time as a meagre token rebellion.

 

*fruitcage* apple.

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I have been raging at my ipad more and more recently.

 

I know, I know, but I got it out of convenience as I had an iphone at the time.

 

I hate it.

 

For instance, I use whatsapp for some messaging on my android phone. I foolishly thought I could download the app to ipad and sync the account.

 

There isn't a whatsapp for ipads. What? Really?

 

Also, it keeps trying to autocorrect ipad to the way apple write it, with a capital 'p'. I click the x every time as a meagre token rebellion.

 

*fruitcage* apple.

 

Yeees. Yeeeeeees. That's the spirit. Knew you'd come round.

 

Try opening web.whatsapp.com on your ipad, then do what it says. Might be almost as good.

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First thing to do with an android tablet is to film yourself and 2 friends smashing the ipad "Office Space" style.

 

I wanted macdonalds on the way home from the pub and just feet bloated and ###### and hideous after the burger, milkshake and chips....

 

I get that with my occasional cheat-day pizza.

 

Although I think milk was a bad choice.

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Just been asked 'why did you fail my soldier on his promotion course?'

The answer, "Sir, he's an absolute bag of *suitcase* and couldn't command himself into his webbing correctly every morning" wasn't what he was expecting - but damned if i'm honest.

Now I have to turn that particular sentence into a course report.

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