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My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!


Sledge

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Umbrellas. Agreed. Every other weekend I play airsoft, often in the p*ssing rain, and get soaked through. Do I use an umbrella? No. I don't even wear waterproofs. Oh no. Sometimes, I won't wear anything at all (NOTE: This statement is not necessarily true).

 

Getting wet doesn't stop me, but then again I'm well 'ard, see. But come on, a little rain never hurt anyone. 'cept Noah. And he's dead.

 

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Another pet hate, and a related one, is waterproof trousers. Why, oh why, do people buy these, besides giving them as unwanted Christmas presents? "Ooh look deary, you can use these at your soft-air matches!". Erm, no you can't, because they rub together and are LOUD! You berk.

 

Waterproof trousers: Just say no!

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Another pet hate, and another related one, is airsofters who try to wear waterproof trousers.

 

See also: Trying to do a stealth-based RAF Cadet night-ex with someone wearing waterproof trousers.

 

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Final rant is about colds. I have one. Grrrrr...

 

Then again, it's an ideal excuse to gorge Halls Soothers (blackcurrant flavour, of course) in the middle of school classes, much to the annoyance of teachers. It's also an excuse to cough in the middle of one of my headmaster's talks. Oh yes - fun fun fun!

 

 

Ummmm... in the Army we wore wet-weather gear all the time. Full camo oversuits. You will die if you get too wet in the cold, and at the very least get sick and or get hypothermia. Staying dry means staying alive... Especially in the cold.

 

Oh, and umbrellas can protect your hair. I've never seen a coat that can protect your hair...... (no hoods don't count cause they mess it up too...)

 

oh... and maybe you wouldn't have a cold if you had stayed dry ;)

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OXFORD BOOK OF FACTS AND STUFF

that you wished you didn't know

 

The MAG

The Mag is a boring creature. It's huge glasses enables it to see with great range from her window on the top floor. And is know for her big mouth she uses to complain. The mag is a dangerous creature. Many people have gone blind thanks to this pesky creature who waits for it's

prey in Boots. When the Mag's prey has turned up she imidetly prepares for battle by folding out her umbrella and pretending to walk out of the shop and en pocke it's prey in the eye to make him blind.

The Mag covers this up by saying "O it looks like one of those boys with bb guns have shot you in the eye" and walks of. Since the Mag is a lonely creature who also lurks by her window waiting for something to complain about "Usally thing's like Airsoft, Magazines, Games, The Youth population and anything fun or new. Thanks to the fact that

the Mag is a lonely creature. The Mag under the m@ting session

usally calls the local plumber and lies that the toilet has been broken.

When the plumber comes and bends down to see what the problem is

she knocks him out with her walking stick and finishes him of. Confused and misrable the plumber tries to walk home with a sore bottom.

 

THE MAG IS A INVISIBLE CREATURE THAT IS HARD TO NOTICE

 

Yes this is true. About 3 out of 10 people are Mags and they are spreeding fast. Due to this the British goverment has decided to exterminate this dangerous and vaile creature. Here is a list uppon what the dangerous Mag creature does.

 

1. Drives slowly to make you come late to work

2. Slowly takes out money out of her purse when paying to waste other peoples lives

3. Tries to lure you children buy giving them biscutes and presents to

make them belive in their propagande " usally things like you can convert a squirrel to fire 3002344525.66 cal bullets or Don't watch tv it turns you into a monster

4. Drives car on full revs at low gear to consume the rest of our world's

oil whilst having the lights on to blind people and eventullay run over them "Since they seem kind the police doesn't give them a ticket"

just to get to the shop 20 feet down the road

5.Talks for a long time knowing that it annoyes people but since the have to be polite they have to listen and eventually makes them late for work

6. Stupid lies and propoganda about airsoft games films and sex

7. Scares your children saying things like " good night and don't let the bed bugs bite" The child immedlaty things that a bed bug is a horrible monster from Mars Attacks and shall forever want to sleep with the light on.

 

What YOU have to do about the Mag

 

Since the mag is so dangerous and grows rapidly doesn't mean that you can't protect yourself so here is a list of what you can do

1. Paint her window blackso she can't se thru 2 this will confuse her and it will take her a week to find out

2. Keep your children away from her so they don't turn into Mag zombies

3. If a Mag tries to assault you at Boots steel her wlaking stick and she will fall.

4.Run

5.Don't leave your children with her whilst going on hollydays

 

 

Im going to write a book and this shal be the first page so what ya think of it

Id be glad if somebody could finish it of for me :D

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they enjoy shineing their bright lights in your face too. WHY oh WHY!

Probably so they can see who you are... :D catch 22 baby

 

I have a phobia for the mechanisms in toilet cisterns. Go to your toilet and remove the lid, isn't that the most hideous thing you have ever seen?? *shivers*

 

I try and like everyone, but, I tell you one guy i DO NOT like.

 

Costa Coffee today, i leave my wallet in there.

 

I run back in 10mins later, ("Ohmy god etc") and ask a waiter if a wallet has been handed in recently. The waiter point blank denies a wallet being handed in today. Suddenly, a bloke of about 20 comes up to me and the waiter and says to the waiter- "I just handed in a wallet which was left".

 

The waiter suddenly remembers and fetches my wallet- with money. What a bastad- e was gonna keep it for himself- seriously, you can't get worse than that- its just plain theft. I would have reported it but i was just glad to get my wallet back- needless to say i thanked the man profusely

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Another rant: people who don't like Dafool. What's wrong with them? The man is a legend! Ok, so English isn't his first language, and sometimes his posts are a little... unusual. But the man brings light and laughter into an all to dull, boring world. So here's to Dafool!

*Drinks vodka and Coke*

 

Oh yeah, the multitude of coffee types available now. The reason I don't drink coffee? I don't have time to go through all the "tall/short, fat/skinny" cobblers. And Coke's going the same way. "Coke, please?" "Certainly, sir. Vanilla, Diet, Diet with Lemon, Diet Caffeine Free, Diet with Lemon, Diet Caffeine Free with a hint of gnu unrine?" "Aaaargh!"

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sometimes his posts are a little... unusual

 

That, dear boy, is a slight understatement...

 

Oh yeah, the multitude of coffee types available now. The reason I don't drink coffee? I don't have time to go through all the "tall/short, fat/skinny" cobblers. And Coke's going the same way. "Coke, please?" "Certainly, sir. Vanilla, Diet, Diet with Lemon, Diet Caffeine Free, Diet with Lemon, Diet Caffeine Free with a hint of gnu unrine?" "Aaaargh!"

 

Mmmm...gnu urine...

 

You may also like this, Sledge...

 

-> 'Small, Medium, Large'

 

Then check out 'Coffee House Propeganda' on the same page.

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some things that annoy me:

 

stubbing your toe.

my god is this the shittest thing that could happen. its so annoying because its so easy to avoid, but you still do it.why?

 

inappropriate dinner mixes.

when you get youe chips (fries for americans), and they are put next to baked beans.the bean sauce makes the chip(fries) all soggy and rank.that ######s me off.

 

hitting your funny bone.

its not funny.thats all there is to say.

 

badboyz.

he ripped me off (read thread in appropriate forum for more info if u want). or in fact anyone who rips anybody else off.

 

people who cheat.

not necessarily just at airsoft, but everything.cheats need to be battered with a large salmon.they're bent. a waste of everyones time.why do they even bother ?

 

depreciation.

why do things loose so much value.like cars? they loose a few grand as soon as you leave the forecourt.why? its not really any different to 10 minutes ago when it was new.

 

if i think of any more, i will share them with you.

 

thankyou for this thread.

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You only have 5 channels with nothing on? lucky bumb. I have about 100 channels and the only decent show is Stargate SG1 (Atlantis just isn't up to scratch at the moment and BSG is just getting wierd) BRING BACK FARSCAPE and Firefly.

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My pet hates,

What am bestest gun threads

people who's response (ie the whole of their response) to a noobs request for help is USE TEH SEARCH without any other helpful comments.

people who have no sense of humour

that song by the Canadian girl that completely misses the point about irony

L33T type gobbledegook REALLY gets up my nose

if I think of any more I may post 'em (then again I might not)

 

 

editted cos my spelling is like the seasons, always changing :rolleyes:

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What am bestest gun threads

 

Ditto...

 

people who's response (ie the whole of their response) to a noobs request for help is USE TEH SEARCH without any other helpful comments.

 

Only the duplicate threads of common questions, mind... ;)

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If it's a current thread yeah if it's dropped off point 'em in the right direction. Its more the ones who dismiss noobs as nobs and forget that they had to start somewhere as well.

 

one other pet hate

 

people who come onto a site with the sole intent of causing trouble. We can do without A-holes like that.

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