If you are going to go down,

[Shao14]

It appears quite a few members here are busy with final exams these days, and it reminds me of an email one of my friends forwarded me a few years ago, so this IS old, but still someone might not have seen it. So, here it is, do it at your own risk, and I take no responsibility of your actions whatsoever.

 

**********************************************************************

If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam

can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it.

Here are some suggestions...

 

Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes.

Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work.

Turn it in a few minutes early.

Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the

secret documents!!"

If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long

answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the

integral symbol.

Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left

nostril.

Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your

answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO

sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the

instructor is.

Bring cheerleaders.

Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say

to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every

lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you?

Where's the regular guy?"

Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max

level.

On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to

refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this

question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be

creative.

Bring pets.

Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of

relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the

country" and run off.

Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very

small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If

you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the

first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, and nothing else.

Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as

vulgar as possible.

Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one

up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it

on the person nearest to you.

As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping

your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them

stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the

profits if they are allowed to stay.

Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another

seat, continue with the exam.

Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start

commenting on how easy it was.

Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is

a multiple choice exam, spell out

interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc..).

Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers

completely blacked out.

Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently,

scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.

Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor

that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour

to go drink).

Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during

the exam, you start to hold your mouth and make "I'm about to bring

something up" sounds.).

Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell

him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my

head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a

white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until

they drag you away.

Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the

class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you

belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right

to take the exam.

Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you

don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives

is on!!!"

Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.

From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the

instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave

one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River

Kwai.

Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could

possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations.

Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the

exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

Bring cheat sheets FROM ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like

history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing,

you're getting kicked out, too) and staple them to the exam with the

comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question,

ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

One word: Wrestlemania.

Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do

before concerts start.

Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray

to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you

every few minutes throughout the exam.

During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,

anything you can reach.

Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90

degree angle.

Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked

to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook

with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical

instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why My Professor Sucks".

[doc_newstead]

Don't know how it works elsewhere, but in my uni exams you were allowed to leave after 30 minutes. For 'Organic Chemistry', I just sat there for the alloted time, and then left right on the dot. Amusingly, my course lecturer had turned up for the exam, and decided to 'have a look' at my paper.

 

Name

Student ID

Date

 

That was all I'd wrote. I wonder what went through his head? He looked genuinley confused as I smiled at him and wandered out of the room. Ah, memories... I got 8%. There's a lesson in there somewhere, I'm sure.

[Shao14]

I think most school allows people to leave after 30 minutes. One of my college roommates completely slacked off during a summer term, and handed in a blank paper 30 minutes into the final exam. The prof was a bit uneasy, and tried to encourage him to at least try to answer some of the questions and told him they were not really hard. But he didn't, and just took the course again.

 

You two must be related.

[doc_newstead]

[COXY]

5?

 

RS exam, sat there and did nothing... but i was one mark off getting a G

 

Yeah, in college we could leave after 30 mins, its funny watchin everyone leave when its an hour exam.

[doc_newstead]

You two must be related.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Sadly, I'd attended nearly all of the lectures. I was just really bad at it

[sp00n]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

 

I actually laughed at something on the internets for once!

[Connery]

I actually laughed at something on the internets for once!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Is THAT what that bone-chilling sound was?

[clmwrx]

I so wish that that form of find x worked for every geometric problem

 

As we speak I am studying for a chemistry exam.

[Sledge]

Is THAT what that bone-chilling sound was?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

All I heard was a sound like the beating of leather wings...

 

[hk_chick]

 

wish I'd had some of those ideas to hand. when I was going throgh 'a phase' as a teenager, I thought it would be a good idea to take A-level sociology (hadn't done GCSE)

 

by the time the exam came around, it was clear i had no interest in the subject or had the foggiest what the questions were about.

 

so I sat there and atttempted to write an answer, gave up, and wrote a nice little note to the examiner apologising for wasting their time, explaining I couldn't stand the subject and wasn't sure what the hell possessed me to take it in the first place and to have a nice day.

 

bastards wouldn't let me leave after 30 mins. I then had to sit there and doodle for a whole 3 hours. hmph.

[expvideo]

I've actually done some of these things!

 

For example, I intentionally showed up drunk as hell (at 2 in the afternoon). I also liked to answer questions with other questions. Especially questions that I should by all means know the answer to. I like to speak giberish in essay questions, and I like to make up words in English class.

 

But some of those things are just wild...

[Night_raven]

*copies a few idea's down for exams in january*

[Predator_2k]

That actually made me laugh, wait for that triangle dont you need more information :S, you cant just work it out like that can you?

[Shao14]

*copies a few idea's down for exams in january*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Make sure to bring a cameraperson with you.

[Night_raven]

Make sure to bring a cameraperson with you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Ive got one idea already (if its not on the list) an its a modification of an office dare.

 

when everyone starts the exam, i'll ask to go boom boom, ... an as i go i'll flick the lights on and off 10 times . ...camera worthy .. yes

 

Laugh factor ..+1000

[expvideo]

Bring along a walkman. Sing loudly (and horribly) along to the latest Ashley Simpson album.

[PariahWolf]

That actually made me laugh, wait for that triangle dont you need more information :S, you cant just work it out like that can you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

You can do it. The route of the sum of 2 sides squared in a right angled triangle equals the remaining side.

[Shao14]

You can do it.  The route of the sum of 2 sides squared in a right angled triangle equals the remaining side.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

What are you? Pythagoras or something?

[-Drake-]

On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to

refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this

question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be

creative.

i laughed so hard i think i pee'ed a little >.>

 

in school we always uses the "only smartys have the answer" in every question we didnt know

[Shao14]

i laughed so hard i think i pee'ed a little >.>

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I dare you to write that as an answer for a question on your exam.

[Dmitri Kalashnikov]

I like what Calvin did for a test question. I might use it on my Biology lecture exam tomorrow. Basically it said:

 

When did the Pilgrims arrive at Plimouth Rock?

 

1620

 

As you can see, I've memorized this fact long enough to answer the question. I will now forget the fact and never bother to remember it again. You've taught me to fool the system.

 

Or do what George Carlin said to do (and Calvin actually did) next time someone says to explain something 'in your own words':

 

Explain Newton's 1st Law of Motion in your own words.

 

YaKa fOOb muG PuBwUCk cHuMBle fuzZ SPLoiORt GiJag WhatOoM!

 

OOH! I should have done this today with my Spanish exam! I should have written in one of the paragraphs where I had to write about my vacation at my favorite place where it asked, 'what are you doing':

 

'Yo comprando queso maloliente y tengo el pollo loco en me pantalones."

[blanksight]

on the exams i had no chance of passing, i used to advertise the forums i use with page large letters and descriptions etc. i got the redcoats.co.uk into every exam i tooke where i had missed out an answer.

[evilhippy]

Always been good (on the outside ) in exams, but:

 

I tried very hard to not bother with learning much for the good old GCSEs, and despite this I got totally average marks. I was high for pretty much the entire exam period (about 4 weeks) so I missed a few exams completely.

 

Most notable was that I attended, out of the 4 German language exams, only 2 of them, and I got a `B` grade for German.

 

I must have aced the 2 I did do, somehow; I was pretty good and in the top set for it and everything but only about in the middle of the group's marks during the run-throughs and class exams.

Somehow I must have got perfect marks for the speaking and writing (the 2 I did) exams, a lot of it was guessed as I hadn't revised much so I must have been one lucky mo' fo'!!

[SmashJoehanson]

I laughed during my french speaking test. It was on tape and you were only allowed to do it once.

I hadn't revised at all and couldnt remember the answers

 

(My french teacher hated me, every lesson I brought up the 'french isnt going to come in handy ever' argument. )

 

Cheers,

Smash Joehanson

 

PS: I got a D