IRS Audit Strategy...

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Ralph arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by

his

attorney.

Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it

appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported

 

employment income. How do you explain that?

Before the attorney could speak, Ralph replied, "I love to

gamble and I usually win."

The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.

"I can prove it," said Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Ralph said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"

Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.

The official's jaw dropped. Ralph said, "Now, I'll bet you two

thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The official could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the

bet.

Ralph then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.

The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asked. "I'll bet you six

thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and pee into that

wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere

in between."

The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no

way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!

Ralph climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket

completely, and pretty much peed all over the desk.

The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a

huge win! But then he noticed that Ralph's attorney looked ashen

 

and was visibly shaking. "Are you okay?" he asked.

The lawyer replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Ralph bet

me twenty thousand dollars he'd pee on your desk and you'd be happy

about it!"

Cheers

Matt

[Kingmob3]

Oldie but goldie! I seem to remember a tarintino version involveing a man at a bar...

KM3