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Gun Names


elsquirrelito

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I think there is kind of a bond between a fellow and his weapon. When I trained with my local swat team I noticed that a few of the guys named their M4's. One was called betty if I remember right.

 

I've named my VSR Jane. I don't go about naming all of my guns but a sniper's rifle is special. It's his pride and joy.

 

Cheers!

 

- CapaciousZepher

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I remember having to name my real steel a long time ago. Her name was Pepper, after my favorite stripper that would give me "special" treatment. My favorite was when some dumbass left his weapon behind to take a dump and female officer took it. When he came back he had to beg for his weapon to take him back. Nothing quite like watching someone beg on their knees for "Sharlene" to take him back. The conversation went like this.

 

Dumbass - "Hey you guys seen my weapon?"

LT. - coughs nosily

DA - "Mam, can I have my weapon back?"

LT. "How did I get your weapon soldier?"

DA- "I left it behind mam."

LT. "What's your weapon's name?"

DA "Sharlene, mam."

LT. "Do you think Sharlene likes being held by me son?"

DA "No mam."

LT. "You need to ask her take you back."

DA - "Will you take me back Sharlene?"

LT. "That's no way to beg for forgiveness to a woman! On your knees and BEG!"

DA-*on knees, hands clasped together in front* "Please, please take me back baby!"

LT. "Louder!!! She is ignoring you!"

DA - *grovels even louder* "Please, please take me back Sharlene!"

LT. "Still not good enough, women hold grudges you know."

DA - *Now on his knees, hands lying on ground begging pitifully* "PLEASE BABY PLEASE!!!"

LT. "Ok, you can have her back. If I take her again, you are going to have to explain the Master Sergeant how Sharlene left you for me.

*LT. gives weapon back to DA*

 

We laughed and laughed at that idiot. From then on, I learned how to take a dump holding on to a tree with my weapon. Always remember to face the tree, don't put your back to it. Not cool when a log rolls down a tree into your pants.

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Mmmm. . . no, i don't get it myself. I mean, i like my SR16, but it's still just the SR16 . . . i mean, if i gave them names, it might not be my girlfriends name that i called out . . . and that'd just be weird!

 

you mean you havent called out SR16 in bed???

 

mine are called Rasputin the XM8, Georgie W, the M4, and Pinkie (as in pinkie and the brain) is my XM8 Compact. others ive had were betty the G3(left me to be with my best mate) Jessie the G36C (dumped her) and karla the XM8, she died.

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*whispers* look at Ghost_Riders profile */whispers*

 

He's got a name for all of them, thats alot of names :blink:

 

Yeah, and they all have reasons. However, they've not all been named - my Aug STILL doesn't have a name, cos it's not told me what it is.

 

ICS M4 is Roseanne, because she's a heavy american biatch.

 

Pair of TM Mp5k's are Brian and Dave. Brian was named after the titular character of the Monty Python movie, as Brian had been my 'saviour' many times when my g36 had runn out of ammo or battery. However, "he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" ;) - Dave was named Dave because I wanted a similar 'normal' name that sounded like it and Dave just sounds reliable.

 

TM Mk23 Socom - SPOD. An acronym for Sniping Pistol Of Doom

 

Pair of KSC Glock 19's - Dexter & Sinister. My first pair of pistols, named after the heraldic designations for left and right. I like names with a little depth for pistols.

 

Koshai CO2 revolver - Shiela. Well....because she's a tank :)

 

TM Spas 12 -Matilda. There's a quote from a made for tv movie whose name escapes me, but it's always stuck in my mind. "When you hear the racking of a 12 guage, you know they didn't come to waltz." - Hence Matilda.

 

TM/STAR G36 SL9 - Angelina. Like her namesake, the Sl9 is not everyone's idea of beauty, but she was my ideal gun/woman

 

Mac-11 - Ruby. An cheap american who never shuts up.

 

Pair of TM Hi-capas - Anubis and Horus. These were named after the Egyptian gods of Death and Vengeance....again, because it felt right.

 

S&W M500 Revolver - The Samaritan. This is my handcannon, and the name is a hellboy reference.

 

Maruzen M870 Gas Shotgun - Natalie. Well, wouldn't you want to 'pump' Natalie Portman? ;)

 

As to why I name them......."Once you know the true name of a thing, you understand its nature and its weaknesses."

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Or the "Camo-Kärcher with a waffle sticking out of its *albartroth*".

 

A friend of mine has two Hi-Capas called "Ilo" and "Riemu". They are synonymous finnish words for joy and ... do you have another word for joy? Anyways, the fun thing is that he shoots people with Joy and <insert another word for joy here>. Damn, doesn't work that well in english.

 

My rifle is called "Antaumus". It's means sort of the same thing as pleasure. Not exactly but almost. I shoot people with Pleasure.

 

Whatever the support gunner is using is called a Milking Machine.

 

-Sale

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Dumbass - "Hey you guys seen my weapon?"

LT. - coughs nosily

DA - "Mam, can I have my weapon back?"

LT. "How did I get your weapon soldier?"

DA- "I left it behind mam."

LT. "What's your weapon's name?"

DA "Sharlene, mam."

LT. "Do you think Sharlene likes being held by me son?"

now from here i would not have been able to resist the line.

"Hell yes mam!"

 

i don't care what punishment i'd get it'd be worth it.

 

Ghost_rider. indeed we do name battleships. but then 3000 sweaty, horny blokes don't live in my m4, i'll leave the name thing ;)

 

as for only women naming cars. i'll tell that to my m8 phil, who's owned such synonymous wonders: Custard, for its faded yellow paint, and lard, due to the fact it was beige...

pete

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