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What am best spelling?!


Jett

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Okay, I've drawn this up to help the many members of Arnies' (and of the internet as a whole should the Stargate forums be down for maintenance) that are having difficulty with their spelling.

 

From the dawn of time mankind has struggled with words. They are a complex and unforgiving system which, unlike their slutty cousin, mathematics, cannot be tricked into being something it isn't. Words are the best way we have of expressing our feelings, they help us convey meaning, explain our surroundings and, most importantly, give us a more socially acceptable alternative to mindless and uncontrollable bellowing.

 

But words are not our friends, at least, not on the forums. For some reason, the ability to 'surf' has completely eroded many people's ability to communicate and has, in some more extreme cases, left users with little more than a badger's grasp of the communicative arts.

 

But fear not! For over the last several minutes I, Jett, have conducted some of the most extensive research ever seen into the myriad of spelling and grammar forms found on the Arnies' Airsoft forums. Snooping, probing, reading posts that don't concern me and performing searches for 'am', I have put together the ultimate spelling guide for noobies and forum veterans alike. So read on, and no-longer will you be flamed for writing like a Ukrainian mental patient!

 

P.S. This guide is not meant to demean, belittle or abuse anyone in particular; unless you own an M4, G36 or AK variant.

 

 

1) *fruitcage*

- The four letter word. Not, as some 'gangsta' [sIC] people would have us believe, three letters.

 

EXAMPLE: "No I don't want to go paintballing, I'm not a ..."

 

 

2) *fruitcage*

- Remember it this way; it rhymes with 'cat'.

 

EXAMPLE: "Oi, where's my other hi-cap you pikey ..."

 

 

3) *fruitcage*

- Again, often abbreviated but this is a relatively simple word to spell, clock without the 'L', see? Easy!

 

EXAMPLE: "Listen here you ... , I won't tell you again; barrel sock on when you get hit!"

 

 

4) *fruitcaging*

- The plural.

 

EXAMPLE: "I can't believe I've just spent £500 on a real-steel, mil-sim, real-tree, tactical set of ... underpants.

 

 

5) *fruitcage* *fruitcage*

- The serious 'softer's most common misspelled word string.

 

EXAMPLE: "Oi! Don't tell all your mate's where we are! You've been hit, you can't talk. It's not fair on the others out there is it? Just play the game. If you're not going to take it seriously then we don't want you here, I don't care how much fun your Dad said it was, you ... ...!"

 

 

6) *fruitcage*

- There's no place for this word on any forum, no matter how well spelled it is, okay?

 

 

So there you go. Now none of you have any excuses for misspelled words or cock-awful grammar.

 

Word.

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It's kicking around in either Off Topic or Humor. Not sure which, I had the link in my favorites before my old hard drive died.

 

Edit ~ Linkage. Can't rememer how far in "fruitcage" gets mentioned, but this is the thread that caused it to be added to the word filter. Also note the last post Ghost Rider makes. Think I'll quote that the next time the issue of racism on the forums crops up. ;)

 

:zorro:

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Do you know that if you hadn't picked the name "Sledge", the word filter would never have been altered to change "f***" to "*fruitcage*", because he never would have posted about the Peter Gabriel song, and the whole fruitcage phenomenon would never have started, so it's really just because of our favorite TV show that every time I try to say "*fruitcage*" it's changed to "fruitcage".

 

Edit: Wait.. "they actually used that track on the TV ads for Sledge Hammer in the states"???!

 

That just blew my mind.

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I notice the fairly innocuous f-e-c-k (beloved of many Father Ted fans and Irish folk in general) is now *fruitcaged* out... is this really necessary?

 

I know we all know what it means but as it's a fairly harmless little replacement for the big eff word...

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