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Best complaint ever!


Smith5

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Today I had a customer complaint that went straight to number one for all of the stupid things people will complain about.

 

I work in a restaurant, and making drinks for people takes up a lot of my day. So I made a woman a cuppaccino, something Ive done a million times and could do perfectly in my sleep. Now a cuppaccino, for those who dont know or might feel like making the same complaint, is a hot drink, of the not-cold variety. A point that most people grasp. Its made using boiling water and steamed milk.

 

So what was the complaint...

 

'Its hot!And I nearly burnt my lips on it.' she says!

 

I was almost lost for words when she told me this and struggled to keep a straight face. Even after she had found out it was hot, why the hell did she not consider leaving it a minute or two to leave it to cool slightly, seeing as most hot things will do this on automatically when left alone for a bit.

 

I just thought I needed to share this, either to enlighten all you people who were unsure of what a hot drink was and how to approach drinking such things, or just to give the rest of you a glimpse into the dumbass world of the average customer.

 

Anyone got any others to beat that?

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I believe someone once sued McDonalds over coffee being hot.

Also, when they first started doing those apple pies people complained they were hot, so they made it policy to not let you buy them until they had stood for long enough to cool a bit.

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Dunno if mine beats the hot-drink story, but in my thankfully brief employment with Tesco customer services, one woman wanted compensation because she had went shopping, parked her car, unpacked her shopping, and realised she'd bought an out-of-date chicken.

 

No problems so far. Refund for the chicken, fair enough.

 

She then explained that as she was driving out of her garage she'd damaged her wing mirror, and that Tescos should pay compensation to her because if we hadn't had an out-of-date chicken on the shelf, she wouldn't have picked it up, then been forced to return it and then damaging her car on the way back to the store.

 

This obviously higher and more advanced form of logic was way beyond me, so unfortunately she didn't get her compensation for the wing mirror.

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I believe someone once sued McDonalds over coffee being hot.

You are correct, and they won the case. And rightly so.

 

The coffee was served at hotter temperatures than was legally allowed. At the temperatures that McDonald's was serving their coffees, the liquid was capable of (and indeed did in this poor woman's case) causing third degree burns. The managerial staff at that restaurant knew this but did nothing about it.

 

Ain't no coffee worth third degree burns, mang.

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Frappuccino is the name and registered trademark of a blended ice beverage sold by Starbucks.

 

Tell her to open her *fruitcage* ears.

 

What ###### me off is that you get helpful staff, mixed in with mongy staff and you end up with a 'lowest common denominator'. At Maplin once, I asked if I could test an LED with a multi-meter, and the bloke said "No, they don't so that, they're just for testing currents". He complained muchly, right up until the point where I inserted the LED into the LED testing point, and switched the dial so that it lit up.

 

"Oh.... I never knew it did that"

 

banana.gif

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I used to work in Starbucks (3 years, man and boy), I've got a million.

 

A friend that worked with me had a large carribbean lady come in and (imagine it in a nice deep carribbean accent) kept demanding to have that "Rrrring Doughnut!" and pointing repeatedly at the Bagels. Clearly labelled bagels. Being told it's not a doughnut. Yet she insists it is and she'll have it.

 

Once, a customer looked at me in dismay after I handed him a Large Cappacino - it was evident in his face that he thought something was amiss.

He didn't say anything straight away so i carried on serving the qucue (one man serving 50 and they still find time to give me grief :)) A few moments later he starts waving the cup at me and saying "Oi, oi!"

 

Obviously this is all a serving scroat like me deserves - having a job such as that means I'm an intellectual midget that only resopnds to mono-syllabic phrases - I ask him what his boggle is and he tells me "This isn't how you make one of these!"

 

Well.. "Sir" (if that is your real name) i think you'll find that I'm known as a "Coffee Jedi" for several reasons, one of which is that I can make any specified drink to the exact recipe and when it comes to lovely, frothy drinks such as yours - I even have to know how much they will weigh (Liquid and Foam being different densities and so forth). I'm paraphrasing of course, I was rushed and had no time to quibble. After telling him my experience was years long and his claiming that tehy make them different in another starbucks leads me to beleive that either they made it wrong or this guy has it wrong.

 

I ask him what it's usually like and, suffice to say, the drink was completely and uttely not what he asked for.

 

You've got to love people that complain their drink is cold. Put a thermometer in it. 95 degrees Celcius. Had your GODDAMN ASBESTOS TONGUE CHECKED LATELY?

 

Conversely we have peole asking for Frappachinos and then complaining they're cold. You just WATCHED me blend ice and ask you for whipped cream on top whilst holding it!

 

Pfht.

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I worked at a convienence store for a while as my previous job. I had a couple complaints. One, this woman wanted $20 worth of Lottery tickets. Ok, Fair enough, no problem. So I print out 4 $5 tickets for ease of viewing on drawing day. WHILE THEY ARE PRINTING, she says "Oh, I wanted them on Single ($1 each) tickets". Once they are printed, THEY CAN'T BE CANCELLED! I never wanted to strangle someone more.

 

My second one was a man decides to pay using a Mall gift certificate. I kindly informed him that we don't take certificates over $20 in value, since the change depletes the register, with no real money placed in return. Einstein here thinks I must have said "You must use the whole certificate to pay with one" and starts picking out stuff. He complains about the policy (after I check him out and he paid), and I inform him of the REAL one again. He starts Hulking out at this point. He yells at me screams at me, all atound bitches at me. FOR HIS MISTAKE!!!! I offer to refund the objects he didn't want. I try to do that, but I keep messing up since he is still going on and on.

 

This job caused me to hate Humanity.

 

I worked there for 7 months, waaaay too long.

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I'm pretty sure we have it worse off in America as far as stupid kids go...since we reward stupidity at school.  It goes like this:

 

You're stupid? (mostly just not trying though)

Here's an easier test.

 

I swear, my generation is fubar.

 

Oh we have that too. Group all the thick kids together and put them in a class where they won't learn anything, because, if they're thick how can we expect them to learn how to do anything?

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I worked at a convienence store for a while as my previous job. I had a couple complaints. One, this woman wanted $20 worth of Lottery tickets. Ok, Fair enough, no problem. So I print out 4 $5 tickets for ease of viewing on drawing day. WHILE THEY ARE PRINTING, she says "Oh, I wanted them on Single ($1 each) tickets". Once they are printed, THEY CAN'T BE CANCELLED!

 

Your fault, I want my money back.

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Here is only one of a million...

 

I worked on a technical hotline for an oil filter manufacturer. Quick change places would call me for the correct application to put on a vehicle. I had a Valvoline guy call me one night asking if we could rearrange our numbering system because his guys were taking way too long to find the proper filters. He said it would take them like 20+ minutes to get the stuff they need.

 

I proceed to tell him that we've NEVER had a complaint of this kind and that the numbers currently used have been in service for years. I suggest that maybe his employees could suggest to him a better in-house inventory system? He then berates me for a better part of 10 minutes. Like it's my fault that his whole shop...including him...is too goddamned stupid to figure out that each filter starts with VO and ascends up the number chart accordingly. VO1 to VO65...it's not rocket science!

 

This is why I NEVER, under any circumstances, let quick lube places change my oil. If you knew the amount of screw ups and problems, you'd all change your own oil forever. Apologies to any good quick change people or places...

 

Hannibal

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I worked in a supermarket in my youth (for my sins.) And at the end of the day we would do the "facing up" (bringing all the shelf stock to the front of the shelf and stacking it nice so that the shelf looks full again).

 

On a saturday, which just happened to be the longest goddam day of them all, there would be this old women that would come in, and not matter how much or how little of this task I had done, she would always go to one of the shelf's that I had done, sweep ALL of the stock away and go stright for the Tim/Bottle/Packet right at the back of the shelf.

 

Just like the Goddam Milk Maid women in "Clerks" (Amen.)

 

I felt like calling down the wrath of god upon her, but I still sadly lack that power. :angry:

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On a saturday, which just happened to be the longest goddam day of them all, there would be this old women that would come in, and not matter how much or how little of this task I had done, she would always go to one of the shelf's that I had done, sweep ALL of the stock away and go stright for the Tim/Bottle/Packet right at the back of the shelf.

 

She, like all good customers, knew that the newer stock is put at the back of the shelves, and the older stock at the front, simple common-sense.

 

hbc.

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Im lucky that I work in a job where you dont get many complaints (bus driver)...or at least I dont so I must do my job well :)

 

But I did get a complaint about something I feel I did right. This is about the worst situation Ive ever had in 10 years bus driving.

 

Im parked in Stone, waiting off a few minutes and theres a drunken (or possibly drugged) guy, smoking at the bus stop. Then he walks up and stands on the bottom step of my bus, breathing his cancer into it and babbling about almost nothing. If there had been passengers on, Id have told him to get lost, but not knowing what he was on I tried to humour the fool. Sometimes its better to defuse someone like that rather than deal with them if they go off.

 

So he wants to go to Hanley. I dont go there, I go to Longton. Finally I say, "I gotta go mate". He says "Err...Ill come with you then" and steps off the bus to get money out of his pocket. I shut the doors and go...Im not dealing with that for 45 minutes.

 

So a few weeks later Im coming out of Longton and have to pick up a passenger and hes at the stop too. He isnt going where Im going. He gets on after the real passenger does, stands on the bottom step and yabbers at me about how Id left him at the stop. I tell him 'Im going, with or without you' and after a bit more yabbering I shut the doors and pull off with him on. I tell him Im now going to the (nearby) police station and he asks to get off. I let him...never seen him again!

 

---

And then theres the time I was going to Hanley on a run just before Christmas and a guy stops me between stops. I dont usually stop between stops (its against company policy) but heck, its Christmas and Im feeling charitable. This was the conversation:

 

Him: "Going Hanley, mate?"

Me: "Yep"

Him: "Well, while youre going that way, can you give us a lift?"

Me: :rolleyes:

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Speaking of large black women and their uncomprehensible language:

 

I was in line at one of these all-you-can-eat places, but it was a "high-class" one, so each area station had a guy there to put a pile of food that's going to make you fatter than the 800-lb man and then promtly kill you onto your plate. (NOTE: these are common in the Deep South, which is where our story takes place) In front of me was a very large black lady who looked like she had been eating at fast food or otherwise unhealthy establishments all her life. So, in her Sunday Best, she's out at this place.

 

She approaches the table, points at a rather large pile of Tortellini, and asks:

 

"DEMSHRIAMP!?"

 

Imagine, if you can, a black lady, hollering this in an unintelligible tone. When the server just gives her a blank stare, she repeats herself. Louder. Pointing at the tortellini.

 

"DEMSHRIAMP!!"

 

The server and I make eyecontact, both of us very confused. "Ma'am, this is tortellini," the server says.

 

"DEM NOT SHRIAMP?" She hollers. Apparently, if they can't understand you, you need to speak louder.

 

"No ma'am, this is tortellini. Its pasta." She grunts, and heads over to the deep-fried ###### table to get something more artery hardening than tortellini...

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