richie_j Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I once had a woman tring to return a kettle. I worked in GAME. Link to post Share on other sites
GuzziHero Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I once had a woman tring to return a kettle. I worked in GAME. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> ROFL How the hell did she expect you to replace that? Did she just walk into the wrong shop by accident? Link to post Share on other sites
Millssy Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Tell her to open her *fruitcage* ears. What ###### me off is that you get helpful staff, mixed in with mongy staff and you end up with a 'lowest common denominator'. At Maplin once, I asked if I could test an LED with a multi-meter, and the bloke said "No, they don't so that, they're just for testing currents". He complained muchly, right up until the point where I inserted the LED into the LED testing point, and switched the dial so that it lit up. "Oh.... I never knew it did that" <{POST_SNAPBACK}> i was a trouble shooter for maplins for some time, there are some stupid people working there!! i had a customer complain once when they had bought a universal remote for there tv about 2 years previosly and it had stoped working, they wanted a refund!! the funny thing was that although he had bought it 2 years ago but he still had the packaging,manual and recipt in perfect condition!! Link to post Share on other sites
Zero_DgZ Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I used to (and still do, part time, covering for one of our guys who is going through cancer therapy) work at a hardware store. Not Home Depot or Lowes or Canadian Tire or any of those nonsense big box stores. A real old-time hardware store that's been standing since 1945. A real man's hardware store. Well, we get some oddballs. We've been toying with the idea of writing a book with all this stuff and publishing it (maybe just running off a few and keeping them on the counter...) because with some of these stories you simply have to write it down verbatim or the details will get lost and then nobody will believe you. Of course, we get all the usual suspects. Shifty eyed teenaged kids looking for screens for their, uh, sink spout. Yeah. Here you go kid, these ones are stainless and they hold up better under flame than the brass ones. Flame? What, you think I'm stupid? I've turned a few into repeat customers. We also get shifty eyed kids looking for potato cannon parts, bong parts, spraypaint, knives, air rifle ammo, and all sorts of naughty things they don't want their parents to know about. Whatever. About a year ago a dottering old man came in with a wheelbarrow. Our True Temper wheelbarrow line has a couple of models with lifetime guarantees. So the one this guy brings in has a cracked bucket. He has is receipt - From the 1960's! It's a hand written invoice, from before we had anything resembling our computerized register system. We call up the warehouse to figure out what we should do about this guy. What can we do? Give him a new wheelbarrow, they say. We'll compensate you for it. The things have a lifetime guarantee, after all. So, I gave the guy a new wheelbarrow. Go figure. Another time not so long ago, a guy came in. He had some kind of accent - Hatian, I think. I could barely understand him. After a couple of tires I figure out he's looking for brake fluid. Knowing that I'm not going to get the right answer, I ask him if he needs DOT 3. He doesn't know. "I have this," He says, and he gives me a repair ticket from Midas. It's one of those supposedly idiot-proof diagnostic overview sheets, all color coded with little check boxes for the mechanic to fill out. He points at the one about brake fluid. Scribbled in blue pen on the line it says "50ppm." Oh, jesus. So picture me in vain trying to explain to this guy who obviously doesn't understand English very well that the parts-per-million thing is a wear indicator and is a measure of when he should have his mechanic flush and replace his brake fluid (at 200ppm, if you were wondering), NOT an indicator that he needed more. It's the measurement of how much dissolved ###### has turned up in his brake system through normal wear-and-tear. Naturally, the point is totally lost. He's trying to get me to top off his brake fluid for him. Fine. Actions speak louder than words, right? We go out to his car and I pop the hood. I show him where the brake fluid goes, and I show him where the line is that the resivior is supposed to be filled to. I carefully have to explain to him "this is full, no more." Puzzled look. I do my best to simplify the matter of overfilling the brake system and squirting brake fluid all over my parking lot, which I don't feel like cleaning up. Or blowing his lines or god forbid his master cylinder, because I'll be the one stuck with the job of pushing his car off the parking lot at closing time. I explain to him that how to check and fill the brake system is in his manual. Do you have your manual? He doesn't know. I'm about to give up. He says he's going to show me the problem and maybe I can figure it out, right? He starts the car up and points to a light on the dash. "Dis de problem," he says. "Dis light, won't go out." He's pointing to this indicator on the dash. It's red, with an exclamation point in a circle, surrounded by parentheses. It looks sort of like this: ( (!) ) BRAKE Without a word, I reach over and disengage his parking brake. Link to post Share on other sites
DazJW Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 It looks sort of like this: ( (!) ) BRAKE <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I bet his car loved him for driving round with that on.. Link to post Share on other sites
WeirdoTransvestite Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 This is why I NEVER, under any circumstances, let quick lube places change my oil. If you knew the amount of screw ups and problems, you'd all change your own oil forever. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Not like it's that hard anyways. Remove a nut, drain the oil. Replace the Nut once as much of the old oil is out, change the filter, put new oil in. Most people are afraid to get oil on their hands. Link to post Share on other sites
GuzziHero Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Another time not so long ago, a guy came in. He had some kind of accent - Hatian, I think. <snip> <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Long...but very well worth the read Link to post Share on other sites
craftiest Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I work for the citys enviromental things the BAAQMD. One of their programs is a voluntary citzen system where they report smoking vehicles online or by phone. When people call in they are greeted by an answering machine and usually their complaint gets inputed in the system in a day or so. So im reviewing the complaints and I have this psycho guy reporting to the answering machine like we are going to send down a squad of cop cars to assist him in stopping the car in question. Note: If you get reported, your no in trouble in any way its just a reminder to fix your car. Please state the liscence plate number: "YAH ITS A RED CAR DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 101 IM RIGHT BEHIDN THIS GUY RIGHT NOW HES HEADING OFF TO THE...boooop" Please state the time and date: "I ALMOST GOT THIS GUY IM RIGHT BEHIND HIM. HES SMOKING LIKE MAD HEADING TO THE EXIT TO..." Thats about when I deleted the message. Morons. Oh and the guy that posted about the buffets with big people. Jesus... you should see the people that hog all the shrimp at this buffet when it comes out. You see like 10 or 20 people jump out of their seats, all around a healthy 500 pounds, sprint er.. jog to the shrimp and fill their plates with shrimp like someones out there to steal their *fruitcage* shrimp. Ill call you when the shrimpstealer comes by ok folks? Link to post Share on other sites
Zero_DgZ Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Not like it's that hard anyways. Remove a nut, drain the oil. Replace the Nut once as much of the old oil is out, change the filter, put new oil in. Most people are afraid to get oil on their hands. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Some day I'll show you where the oil filter is on my Saturn and we can all have a good old laugh at my expense. It's inside the engine compartment, hanging above the boot that covers the CV joint on the passenger's side. The manual says not to get oil in the CV joint, as if that's bloody possible. Of course, it retains about a half a pint of oil inside itself. And you can't get a strap wrench in there at all, because there's no clearance. So swapping it is sort of a blitzkreig operation that involves wedging a piece of cardboard over the CV joint, spinning it off with a cup wrench, slapping the new one on as fast as possible, and doing my damnest not to get oil all over myself. Which usually fails. Then using half a bucket of Simple Green cleaning up all the oil that invariably winds up all over my CV boot, strut, &c... Link to post Share on other sites
WeirdoTransvestite Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Melonfish Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 i never really had any really dumb questions whilst doing sales jobs. mostly at Games workshop people would phone you up and say "do you sell computer games?" there was one chap who travelled for like 3 hours or something and was dismayed to find no computer games but just "toys" he was well irate, turns out he got our address from the yellow pages, why couldn't he just phone like every ###### else? one guy asked once if all the models came pre-painted. i had to show him they're unpainted and unasembled "how do you stick them together then?" he asks duh.....Glue....... i did work on a tech support desk for a few years. oh MAN what i have heard and what i have seen. i'll write a book one day.... we used to have one guy by the nick of Rainbird who would systematically phone us every tuesday and wednesday to sort out his pc and each day there would be a different operating system on it. we'd be like "ffs! we just configured this last week" yes well he re-installed windows for some reason or another..... i remember one lass kept this mahooosive magnet attached to her desktop case, because well its made of metal. her hard drive kept becoming corrupt, bad sectors etc.. and eventually went pop. when i went out to her pc i found this dirty great thing practically welded to her pc right where the hard drive sits..... hell i walk through the callcentre where i am now and people balence cups of coffee on their desktops in the silly little plastic jobbies that have a smaller base then rim. i took one off a maching once and placed it on the desk of this user who promptly complained that having it there got in her way so she always keeps in on her pc. i explained i was saving her around £1500 out of her wages should she spill it. MUPPETS! pete Link to post Share on other sites
GuzziHero Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Zero...some day Ill tell you about how to check/change the spark plugs on a 1989 Yamaha FZR1000R-W ExUP 3GM. If you think the NAME is long-winded, the sparkplug change routine will make you weep... Link to post Share on other sites
Zero_DgZ Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I don't doubt you in the least. But hopefully you don't have to change your plugs every other week... Link to post Share on other sites
Jagdraben Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 This thread wins teh intornetz!!!!!11 Link to post Share on other sites
GuzziHero Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I don't doubt you in the least. But hopefully you don't have to change your plugs every other week... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Your Saturn needs an oil filter change every 2 weeks? If so, I concede defeat! Link to post Share on other sites
Zero_DgZ Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 It does when you put 150 miles on the car a day! Okay, maybe that's closer to three weeks. But still. Every 3k miles... Link to post Share on other sites
Moriquende Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Every 3k miles? Who the hell told you that? Link to post Share on other sites
liquidflorian Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I had worked as a Barista through school and I had a woman order a Soy mocha with a shot of banana torrani syrup. I told her before I made it that it would taste like *beep*. She was ###### off when she hated it and I wouldn't make her something different for free. The manager did, she was a sucker for a pretty face so I had to make her something different. I just thought it was funny. I had another instance with a co-worker, not really a complaint but a good story. He was setting up Outlook on a machine and botched it. With old versions of outlook if you didn't select the "exchange" server otpion you were basically hosed. He fruitcaged it up and insisted that it was fine, telling me to reload his .ost file (off line folders for outlook). Long story short we were arguing about how he didn't get it right and told me to look for the file; I found it and he smugly said something condecending and sautered off. The problem was the file was only 64k, and these users and nearly gigs of mail. I was so ###### I shouted across the qube farm "Why the f*ck is the file only 64k!?" I was only torqued off because dude started the argument to try and show dominace infront of the users, all comercial realestate agents (alpha males). He imeadiately turned beat red and scurried away. Link to post Share on other sites
Skarclaw Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I used to work at a hospital, and this old guy came up to me and starting saying something about we gave him the wrong blood type or something, it took him ages to figure out that I couldn't refund him or swap it for something of the same value, people these days. Link to post Share on other sites
GuzziHero Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 It does when you put 150 miles on the car a day! Okay, maybe that's closer to three weeks. But still. Every 3k miles... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sheesh...One of my other motorbikes is a Suzuki GSX400FX. That revs at 9000rpm, has 16 valves, and the smallest engine sump in the known universe so it is REALLY finicky on oil quality. And that only requires an oil filter change every 5k. Im REALLY glad I dont own a Saturn now! Link to post Share on other sites
liquidflorian Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Sheesh...One of my other motorbikes is a Suzuki GSX400FX. That revs at 9000rpm, has 16 valves, and the smallest engine sump in the known universe so it is REALLY finicky on oil quality. And that only requires an oil filter change every 5k. Im REALLY glad I dont own a Saturn now! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Off topic: This company dose engine oil analysis to better determine your oil change interval and other factors. Haven't tried them out yet, but some one on one of the car blogs I read recomended it. Link to post Share on other sites
GuzziHero Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Interesting Anyhoo, back on topic (and yet, i know the off-topicage was mostly my fault...sorry!) Link to post Share on other sites
zogzog60 Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I work as a Storeman in Boots the Chemist, organizing the backshop and taking deliveries in while i'm still at school. I find most of the best stories come from shoplifters! We had a woman obviously drunk out her mind ( or possibly on drugs) come in and lift up a bottle of water and start drinking from it. She then proceeded to the painkillers and opened a packet of nuerofen to take 2, washing them down with the stolen water. She then moved over to the condoms and lubes, and opening a tube of lube started rubbing it into her hands. When the police asked her what she was doing she explained to them in a quiet voice that she was "a lady of the night, if you know what i mean" Link to post Share on other sites
TheBauer Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I used to work for BT Openworld / BT Yahoo on the technical call center help desk. Now with the modems that we send out withthe packages have a warrenty, but are NOT covered by act of god, much like alot of things. Anyhow we had been having alot of thunderstorms in the UK recently and i had this one gentleman phone up saying his modem wasnt working. so after doing testing and all the other stuff i have to do over the phone, he finaly tells me that it was the lighting that blew his modem, and that he would like a replacement sent out to him ASAP. now unfortuantly im not allowed to do that dueto it being an 'act of god' he starts spurting off saying hes paying for a service and that he expects a free replacement modem or hes going to cancel. quicker than anything i spurt out " Well sir you pay for your tv license, that is a service, if how ever your tv were to break i very much doubt the the BBC would buy you a new one" he put the phone down after i said that. Link to post Share on other sites
Agent47 Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Every 3k miles? Who the hell told you that? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Dude, it's Jiffy Lube you silly. Link to post Share on other sites
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