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Woodco

Embarrassing moments

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I once caught rizzo pooing into his hamster cage.

 

I couldn't say which of us was more embarassed really, but he seemed to be enjoying it.

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I once made a joke about my Gf living near electricity pylons along the lines of 'knock knock here comes cancer' turns out her dad died of cancer and they think it was because they lived so close to them. Mortified doesn't come close....

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When making mortality jokes, make sure that they're ridiculous unlikely to happen.

 

Like gettings AIDS in a burning car crash, or something.

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Passing out during my boot camp graduation ceremony. We were standing in formation for about an hour in the sun, and the next thing I knew, a corpsman was asking if I was ok.

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Being woken up by my parents in a bed filled with my own urine and vomit aged 15

Appears I was choking on my puke, all I wanted to do was lay back down in the nice warm puddle of puke and go back to sleep :P

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History Class today.

 

 

Teacher: Right is there anything else that we can say about Stalin's first Five Year Plan ?

 

Me: Well Russia's testical output..........textile output....

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Out with my then-fiance. She invited a female friend, I brought a buddy for a meal out. Knocked a glass of red wine (HAD to be red) onto fiance's friend. Yes, I wanted to die.

 

Offered to pay for the cleaning, or a new dress and she declined but at least I made the offer.

 

Oh, and they kept trying to take the pith out of me because it was an Indian restaurant and I asked for milk as my drink to counter the acid in any spicy food. Turns out Im the only one who wasnt unwell the following day.

 

Method in my madness.

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walking into a builders merchants and quite honestly telling the woman behind the counter "oh cool , congratulations whens the happy day? do you know if its a boy or girl?" only to have her say " ha ha, your *fruitcage* funny arnt you" i stood there looking all hurt and said " what? what did i say? arnt you happy about it or something?" she says " im not *fruitcage* pregnant, this it what you look like when youve had six kids" so now im mortified had no intension of upsetting the poor cow. so word of advice, if your not 100% sure, dont say a bloody thing.

il get me coat.

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walking into a builders merchants and quite honestly telling the woman behind the counter "oh cool , congratulations whens the happy day? do you know if its a boy or girl?" only to have her say " ha ha, your *fruitcage* funny arnt you" i stood there looking all hurt and said " what? what did i say? arnt you happy about it or something?" she says " im not *fruitcage* pregnant, this it what you look like when youve had six kids" so now im mortified had no intension of upsetting the poor cow. so word of advice, if your not 100% sure, dont say a bloody thing.

il get me coat.

Uh-oh. That sucks for you.

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In 4th grade, some kid sitting next to me jabbed me in the side--I jumped up out of my seat and simultaneously farted.

 

That's got to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard of!

 

I haven't got any for myself, but I'm sure my buddy Horzathesecound has, so I'm gonna get him first.

 

Not really an embarrassing moment, but he admits to being a huge Arnie (Conan, Terminator etc, not the founder of this forum) fan, not a crime in itself. However, it is when you admit to not being able to watch the final scene in Terminator 2 (when he gets lowered into the molten metal) 'cos it makes him cry! :D

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Story not centered on me but what the hell. A couple of years ago, must have been around 18 I guess. Went out at lunch time from 6th form to go into town with a couple of mates. One goes off to buy his girlfriend (who was 15 I might add) a valentines card and a gift or something, the rest of us go to McDonalds. So he gets back and I ask to see what he bought, he hands me a fluffy bear with some sort of zip pocket. So he go's to the counter to get some food. I take this opportunity to sly a condom into the little bears pocket and put put it back in his bag.

 

Anyway, later on that evening, I get an irate phone call from him, asking why the *fruitcage* I put a condom in the bear. I replied saying it was just a joke, but it turned out he didn't check it before he gave it to her and she opened it in front of her mum and the condom fell to the kitchen floor. Needless to say, it was a bit embarrassing for him the next time he met her mum, but luckily she got over it.

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OMG I laughed so *Fruitcage*ing hard reading this thread!

 

I don't really have one myself, except last September maybe, when I got completely shitfaced drunk and passed out on the bathroom floor, vomiting. My father and a family friend had to carry me out to the couch, where I continued to vomit all night. And all the next morning...And all that afternoon....And well into that night.

 

Jeez, 24 hour hangover. Won't ever drink like that again......

 

Other than that, no embarrassing moments to speak of. Almost shameful really. ;)

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No I'm serious lol. Since September I've had one shot and one small glass of champagne, both on new years eve. And only because I was pestered for hours to do so. I don't even have a desire to drink anymore.

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LOL. If anybody's wondering, I got drunk off of 4 shots of Rumplemintz(sp?) and 6 (non-light) beers, all consumed within less than 2 hours. And this was my first time drinking heavily, and I weigh about 140lbs. Not a good combination.

 

I literally STILL get nauseous everytime I smell beer.

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