This old `abstinence` game is laugh, right? Actually its not too bad, and to be completely fair I haven't been completely abstaining from alcohol in the 42 days since I stopped drinking (thats `stopped drinking` for a given value of `stopped`, anyway. Or for `drinking`as well, in fact ).

What I 've had to drink, in over a month now, comes to a total of: 4 beers, 4 glasses of some heinously sweet wine (that tastes like overly-strong sherry, plus lots of sugar, and multiplied by the the spirit of raisins) and about 8 shots-worth of the Whisky (read: moonshine) that I'm distilling in the kitchen, and despite the fact that this `whisky` seems significantly stronger than the usual 40% ( ) that little lot of booze, or it's equivalent, would previously have been consumed by yours truly in a little less than one day or one evening. And the same the next evening, and the next, and the next, and so on.

Nonetheless, this amount constitutes 3 seperate events where my resolve to not drink failed, and only within a 40-odd-day period. Was I justified?

Was I hell; in one case (the beers) at least it was a total collapse of restraint, it was on the 1st day after I `quit` and that was pretty much my entire excuse for it

The other 2 occasions I brought upon myself, by allowing other external factors to make it necessary rather than enjoyable to have some alcohol in my system, and the booze really only played a tactical role (in helping me pass out) and not one that was particularly enjoyable - that sherry/wine stuff tastes bloody dreadful, especially after staying up at some free party/rave-type-affair just to watch the sunrise and then finding that its really quite hard to get to sleep

But, as wise man once say: if you do something bad for a good reason, you'll do it for a bad one.

So its almost with a sense of dread purpose that I set off after work for a friend's Birthday p***-up, and almost with a kind of reluctance

will I order that first drink....

-

The morning after......

Gurgh. Hungover. Bloody good evening though, nice to see people and nice to see rather more of some people as these hippy chicks all wear ridiculously low-cut tops

And despite this, it was still a most pleasant evening Lots of rum and beer makes my stomach want to die and my head want to stop doing lengths this morning, and I am gladdened by this in its own way because I will be spending the next month or two not drinking and NOT experiencing such joyous wonders

Pleased that I'll be safe from hangovers for a while, and hopefull that I'll be able to refrain from smoking the tree-trunks and dead sparrows that I (according to the taste in my mouth this morning) was apparently caning last night, I am satisfied with my abstinence, such as it is(n't).

By god it was good to be drunk though, really goddamned good and that first drink tasted like goddamned mutha- *fruitcage* -ing nectar, it really did.

A VERY good reason to carry on with the quitting, methinks.