AqualungJM Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 The Tale of Christmas Past as told by:The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Fat man, arise. Now you listen directly to me, I am the Cybenetic Ghost of Christmas Past, and I have come to show you what christmas like. The war against man and machine raged on through the early seventies. You don't remember because back then it was only a prophecy, but now in the future the past has occured. Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we know him, there was Sir Santa of Clause-an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dino bone and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creautures with crinkled hands, regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so called toy were buried as witches and defacated upon and hurled at predators who were awoken by the seering grunts of the children. it wasn't a holly-jolly christmas that year for many were killed. A war-like race of elves from the red-planet landed on the ice-encased earth and were immediatley enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys, using galactic elfen technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and were given names like "train". But these toys were also thrown at predators and defacated upon, because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked in a big way. Thousands of years ago the ice had made the land innavigable, Santa Ape did not know what a North Pole was. How could he? He was born before science existed So he arbitrarily built is house right here, long before they unionized and christmas was celebrated at each full moon in front of the great red ape that was Santa Clause...The End. Aqua Teen Hunger Force is hilarious. Merry Christmas everyone. -AqualungJM- Link to post Share on other sites
smores Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 First of all, it's The Cybernetic Ghost of Chistmas Past from the Future... And secondly, You forgot the end! Frylock: "Wait wait wait, WHO unionized.." CGOCPFTF: "Wouldn't YOU like to know, probably yo mama." Meatwad: "It makes me sad that they had to open their toys in front of an ape and they were all made out of doo-doo. What kind of Christmas is that?" Frylock: "It's okay Meatwad. This is all a bunch of bull." CGOCPFTF: "You don't believe?" Frylock: "Believe what? That you're a ghost and Santa Claus is an ape? That's the most ridiculous--" CGOCPFTF: "WAS an ape. Now he is a MACHINE." Meatwad: "I left cookies and a glass of milk for a MACHINE?" CGOCPFTF: "Nah man he's an ape... NO WAIT! HE IS A MACHINE! YOU ARE TRYING TO MESS ME UP ON PURPOSE!!" Frylock: "Wait wait, where did all this blood come from?" CGOCPFTF: "I told you, it was the great circuiting..." Frylock: But I thought everyone back then was undeveloped, couldn't make machines with their crinkled hands. CGOCPFTF: But the elves came from the Red Planet. There was much defecation. Frylock: Yeah, yeah, you mentioned that. How long ago did you say this was? CGOCPFTF: *smoke appears* THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO-- Frylock: No, shut up. You still haven't explained why the pool is filled with elf blood. CGOCPFTF: I told you earlier. It was the Great Circuiting. Frylock: You didn't mention no Great Circuiting. CGOCPFTF: "Oh, I didn't? *smoke appears* THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was a creature.... (Time Passes) ...and THAT is where babies come from, from machines." Meatwad: "Boy, that was some story. That kind of is different from what I remember being told about, you know, people loving each other, and you know physically." CGOCPFTF: "NO! That is very wrong! You cling to you pathetic faith about fluid exchange. (Frylock is snoring) I am talking!" Frylock: "Ooh, I'm sorry. I nodded off. What did I miss?" Meatwad: "Well you should have been listening cuz he said that the elves tried to unionize cuz Santa Ape was using their machines and then that turned into a war between the elves and machines, and the machines won, and then this here, this here where we're standing on, this is an elfin playground." CGOCPFTF: "IT IS A GRAVEYARD!" Meatwad: "Graveground, and that's why Carl's pool is filled with blood cuz he over there, that ghost, he's haunting it cuz Carl desecrated it cuz he lives here. Something to about babies too, babies get made that way." LOLOL... have you seen the episode "The Dressing" with Turkatron? LMAO... it's great I'll post that in here too. Link to post Share on other sites
AqualungJM Posted December 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 I thought the christmas tale would be enough, since you know that's the only christmasy part of the episode. The rest...kinda dwindles off into another direction...to gothic people and much cussing. lol. That's probably my favorite episode. Besides Broodwhich which is freakin' hilarious. -AqualungJM- Link to post Share on other sites
Marlowe Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 Am I the only person in Britain reading this thread and thinking now relieved I am that we lost the war of American Independance? <_> Link to post Share on other sites
Sledge Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 We lost? I thought we made that whole "War of Independence" ###### up to avoid hurting their feelings when we left? Link to post Share on other sites
Megalomaniac Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 Nice one Sledge... I was expecting a crack at how the early US Army didn't always follow those classic "rules of war", I mean come on standard bears are just crying out to be shot at. Link to post Share on other sites
sp00n Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 Your pitiful 3 dimentional world bores us. Link to post Share on other sites
Megalomaniac Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 Encompass your body around that rack of D-V-Ds. Link to post Share on other sites
Marlowe Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 US army? Following ROE??? Lol...Good one. Link to post Share on other sites
Megalomaniac Posted December 25, 2004 Report Share Posted December 25, 2004 I known those medic crosses are just screaming out to be hit. Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 http://www2.b3ta.com/bukkake/ You'll thank me later. Link to post Share on other sites
Sledge Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 You'll go spunky for his love. Link to post Share on other sites
AqualungJM Posted December 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 How come whenever Marlowe shows up the conversation goes in an entirely different direction? -AqualungJM- Link to post Share on other sites
Marlowe Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 See my new signature for details... Link to post Share on other sites
AqualungJM Posted December 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 Well said -AqualungJM- Link to post Share on other sites
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