Fuser Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Okay so for my AP English class our teacher wanted us to write a very short essay defining something, basically using a format along the lines of "_______ is..." and possibly repeating that phrase. Usually we take these assignments pretty seriously, but yesterday when we presented a couple kids wrote very intense and touching essays, like "Living without a mother is...", "Losing a brother to war is..." and "Being a homosexual in today's society is..." etc., generally very deep responses. Well I wrote mine before hearing these, and luckily I didn't have to read mine, but I will have to tomorrow. In my opinion, next to these mine sounds very silly, almost to the point where I'm afraid it might be taken as mockery. It's based on a real experience, however; when I was very young I went to my cousin's birthday party, and he had a party clown who was so obviously ****faced I still laugh about it today. So my essay is as follows: The Alcoholic Clown To be an alcoholic clown is to be a leper in an unforgiving society. It’s awakening to find yourself tangled in a ruined lawn chair with a handful of disappointed and bewildered children standing in a circle around you. It’s accepting that there will come times you’ll be kicked out of a birthday party without a check in your hand. To be an alcoholic clown is to have two clashing addictions, two contradicting vises that you can neither avoid nor suppress. The alcoholic craves his drink, the clown thrives on laughter; but the alcoholic clown must have both, and thus he is cast into a paradoxical reality in which neither urge can be slaked, and no satisfaction can be had. The life of an alcoholic clown is tragic. It is pathetic, and it is upsetting. Balloon animals, elephants and poodles once composed of several balloons, have become minimalist, single-balloon shapes: triangles, circles, and the occasional rhombus. The alcoholic clown lets an empty flask fall to the ground as he adds the finishing brushstrokes to a young child’s face. His face painting skill falters; lion faces and flowery cheek designs become unimpressive and sometimes shocking creations that resemble bruises, boils, stab wounds, and gangrenous flesh. His magic tricks are mean-spirited. The alcoholic clown gets a small poker game going, hustles the kids, and threatens them if they complain about lost money. An angry father drags the alcoholic clown from the bar mitzvah and throws him into the street. To be an alcoholic clown is to stumble aimlessly down a dark boulevard in those oversized clown shoes, which are hard enough to walk in while you’re sober. To be an alcoholic clown is to barge into weddings and other social gatherings uninvited. He will pick a fight with a mall Santa or a high school mascot. He’s ejected from venues again and again, but still he perseveres, desperate to entertain but held back by his dependence, impeded by the cocktail. He gives up, throws up, and curls up inside an abandoned cardboard box. To be an alcoholic clown is to spend one more night out in the cold, battling the elements, wrapped in a polka-dotted jumpsuit that trembles in the wind. © 2007 In my honest opinion I think it's pretty funny, but in light of the crazy personal essays yesterday, do you think it would be crossing a line? I've already made my mind up as to what I'm going to do, I'd just like to know what you guys think. And you could change my mind if you make good points. — Render edit Oh, and just to give you a better idea about what yesterday was like, there was a point at which a girl reading burst into tears, so then four or five other girls started sobbing, and a few of them had to leave. A couple guys teared up a little too, I guess because they had friends/family who were killed in Iraq or Afghanistan. Link to post Share on other sites
RedScare Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 i hope your teacher doesnt use turnitin.com =P Link to post Share on other sites
Fuser Posted January 3, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 He does on occasion, why? edit If you're talking about the plagiarism alert feature thing, no, it's not a problem, we're reading these in class and we never even turn in a hardcopy. Link to post Share on other sites
Qhs Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 "32% possible plagarization" Why? Because of quotes. !!! Useless program is useless. Not trying be a !@#$, but that girl's essay probably makes your Alcoholic Clown look like child's play. Link to post Share on other sites
amateurstuntman Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 vices not vises. Link to post Share on other sites
PlasticMag Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Use it, run with it. Don't take life seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Hop2 Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 I liked it, but the 2nd and 3rd paragraph don't fit the style of the rest of the piece. You move from an overall view point to a specific one without any transition in between... BTW - do you all have access to the turnitin program? or is there a free demo? Link to post Share on other sites
kronic Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Cheque not Check. Also yeah go for it. Just because some people raised sensitive issues doesn't mean you have to. To be fair it might be quiet refreshing! Link to post Share on other sites
pjones Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Nice essay. Given the subject matter of some of the other essays, yours would certainly lighten things up, and will definitely be remembered by your classmates. Cheque not Check. Also yeah go for it. Just because some people raised sensitive issues doesn't mean you have to. To be fair it might be quiet refreshing! Us 'Mericans spell it "check." Link to post Share on other sites
Hewes Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 its not plagiaism if you quote the source properly Link to post Share on other sites
Fuser Posted January 3, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 its not plagiaism if you quote the source properly I think he's saying that if my teacher was to run this essay through turnitin.com, this website, and probably this thread, might pop up as a source that's been "plagiarized". Link to post Share on other sites
Desolation mkII Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Take the ######, it may sound heartless, but write a new one called, To be a Spartan is... To have a Mother raped by a corrupt councilmember, a father shot full of Persian arrows and to be sent out to the wilderness at seven AND being a homosexual should be intense enough. Link to post Share on other sites
flec Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 I think your teacher may think its crossing the line but she will still have to give you an A Link to post Share on other sites
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