ollywilson29 Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute adebt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy.... AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive. Source: http://scroblene-webley-bullock.blogspot.c...-with-cows.html EDIT: Ok so I just searched the forums for the second time, this time not mis-typing 'economic' as I did the first time, and there's already a thread on this....Sorry! Still funny for anyone who hasn't read it though... Link to post Share on other sites
Panzergraf Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Haha, I had read some of them before, but most were new to me. Funny stuff Link to post Share on other sites
Wraith18A Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 There were a few changes to this from the last time that I read it, but still funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Moriquende Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 TOP GEAR You have two cows. You sell both and buy a bull. You "milk" it and sell it's "milk". Link to post Share on other sites
Blackweell! Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Is it just me or does anybody else not get the TOP GEAR one? Link to post Share on other sites
Abelius Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 I would prefer not to get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Chris North Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Is it just me or does anybody else not get the TOP GEAR one? I think it's just you. Bulls are strictly male. Link to post Share on other sites
Misfit Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 TOP GEAR You have two cows. You sell both and buy a bull. You "milk" it and sell it's "milk". That is a fairly rubbish joke. What does it have to do with Top Gear? Link to post Share on other sites
Ubar Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Deja-moo I've heard this bull*suitcase* before.... Swear filter is there for a reason, ubar. MDK Link to post Share on other sites
Jagdraben Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 That is a fairly rubbish joke. What does it have to do with Top Gear? Ditto. Link to post Share on other sites
Mamba15 Posted January 13, 2009 Report Share Posted January 13, 2009 Is it just me or does anybody else not get the TOP GEAR one? I assume it's referring to the episode when they compared the price of petrol to the prices of other liquids (those being milkshake and bull semen) Link to post Share on other sites
MDK_Marshal Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 "You idiot, you filled your car with bull semen!" Link to post Share on other sites
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