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paranoiddroid

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About paranoiddroid

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  • Airsofter since
    2005
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    ooooh shiny, owww *badger*s. Hit!!!
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    United Kingdom

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  1. paranoiddroid

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Complaint letters are pointless the NHS just lies and covers their *albartroth*. The main goal of the NHS is protect the NHS. I have had a recomendation Il dig it out and pass it on.
  2. paranoiddroid

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    I have dip and custom leather Gucci holster for it, on that note if anyone wants a recomendation for leather gear pm me. Also... Does anyone have a hwasan shotgun OR a picture of the parts? Trying to get them modelled to get better versions made plus hopefully make a an actual longer barrel stocked one someday
  3. paranoiddroid

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Hedge, working on it, you got any recommendations?
  4. paranoiddroid

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Christ.... That sucks man
  5. paranoiddroid

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Erm Hi -waves- just had a *suitcase* time of things so sort of withdrew from online stuff linked to hobbies coz... Just got angry looking at stuff that i can't physically do now when its not my fault. But ok... My shitlist is being expected to be a good little spastic and accept a massive physical decline and at the same time accept il be in agony because they want to drop the only meds that make any sort of dent in the pain because basically 'opiates are BAAAAD' the only other alternative the PCT categorically will not support a funding application for and have barred pain management docs from writing the recommendation so the home.office won't approve it and the other alternative is for the none legal market where i can't be sure of the strain have got to deal with either Asian dealers selling *suitcase* haze that's sold wet undercured and expensive. A quote 'nah mate I don't do 1/8ths you have to get it in 2.2g 20bags no one sells 1/8ths' it i deal with the guys who sell to support their own use who are massively unreliable and frankly useless. I'm being told.that i should count being able to carry a bag of washing down a flight of stairs as a physical win day.... Like not even load the machine just carry it down the stairs. Iv gone from sprinting at high level in the disabled athletics scene to oh carry a bag of washing downstairs and am expected to accept that. I'm 100% sure that they are treating me.differently than an ablebodied person. Just because i am disabled I'm told to accept it whereas if i was AB and done this damage equivilent to the op they *fruitcage*ed up on a motorbike or at work or hell even on tour in any of the thirdworld shitholes the forces have been too in the last 30yrs they'd have looked at the injuries done six months of 'trying' to save the leg so the shrinks can get my head round it then just do a below knee amputation and then... 6months later id be back at work and looking at a motorbike But because I am disabled and it's their *fruitcage*up I've suffered and suffered been condescended to, lied to, talked to like a child and ignored all because they don't want to admit they *fruitcage*ed up. Iv spent 8years on meds that cause long term problems, about with your mood and now am having seizures and even then I'm being talked to like I'm stupid 'well isn't it just that you drifted off this 'edge of sleep seizure' you describe could just be you falling asleep couldn't it' No *badgeress*... My girlfriend has worked with severe epileptics for about 15yrs and has seen pretty much every seizure going and its screaming my obvious to her that it's not just falling asleep and my boyfriend has witnessed the same seizures and no i didn't fall asleep during the ref i just have the ability to STFU and don't really want to talk to someone who talks to me.like I'm six. Just *fruitcage* i hate this but... Yeah Hi guys I'm back anyone know a good medical malpractice solicitor (NOT a personal injury guy as this is kinda more complicated) I have other rants including phone shops that lie cheat and take the but I will save that for annother post but suffice to say if I was in Brighton a certain shop would he getting daily bottles thrown through the doorway for doing like charging batteries in other phones to sell phones with *fruitcage*ed charger ports.
  6. paranoiddroid

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    The head copper in wales is a *Ubar*. He actually BRAGGED on national radio about sitting officers close to biker events to pull large groups and search for issues holding people for 45m as they search desperately around the bike for issues. Even ticketing guys for illegal exhausts who had properly stamped mufflers because 'it sounds too loud' as a great bit of policing. He bragged about targeting tourists and openly admitted he wanted to stop motorcycle riders from visiting wales. Iirc he did some funny stuff with speed cameras as well breaking the rules on placement and not programing them for the 10%+1 leeway that the home office guidelines push for. Also in other news im not sure if Il get my meds this week bz i ordered the scrip before my review due date but the gp will have signed it after the review due date.... Meds that require review by the gp but are controlled by a specialist. You cant make changes so why make me go for a review. And Stunt, you're awesome and you understand and listen when im having a shot time so ty. What we experience as kids does massively influence who we become. Im cynical and misanthropic and don't trust people because of my childhood thankfully i have a group of close friends who understand and listen when i need it.
  7. paranoiddroid

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    Iv got two of my Cold War goes hot 15mm scale tanks built and on the painters desk, my tornados have had the missing bits turn up. Battlefront are shut and aren't sending replacement bits from kits they tucked up to the shop till their next order BUUIT seeing as people aren't buying from BF because the missing bits and tucked up product takes months to sort out the shop isn't selling enough BF stuff to restock... Also iv stopped really hurting and not fallen over today.
  8. paranoiddroid

    The Computer Question Thread

    Ta
  9. paranoiddroid

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    Definitely. Going for a meal with friends if i can be added o get out of bed.
  10. paranoiddroid

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Heh. I agree if you cant/dont want kids there is a sense that...your life isn't complete in the minds of others and they almost try to push you too it. I don't think kids is an option for me, I'd have to come off pretty much every tablet im on and...those nine months would be bedbound screaming and crying and just... The risk of harm to the kid from my falling constantly would be huge. Really basic stuff like going to the shop alone as a stay at home mum would... I'd need a carer with me to do it. Plus i honestly don't think i could put my partner through it. He lost one after birth like 36hrs after birth and had the two other times they tried for a child end in still births and emergency surgery to save his no ex and being asked o allow them to remove the plug told his wife may die of they don't. Ibi don't want to hurt him and the fear and guilt is something he still has issues with. Neither of us want kids and we have discussed it and we are happy. Iv been looked down on told I'm immature and have broken priorities and need to grow up (that said by a girl who got knocked up by a 23yr old when she was 17 and lives in a council place with her new partner with a dedicated room for her kid that he has never used because she can't get unsupervised visitation because she's in a relationship with someone on the register) now i was tempted to be really nasty and catty there. All i posted was being surprised how many people had kids of my contemporaries (aged 20 nearly 21) and because i suggested here was an alternative life pathway than leave school/uni get married pop out kids immediately god the vitriol and abuse. Everyone who commented seemed to feel like my being surprised and openly admitting that I couldn't see having kids at the point i was at and I'm happy with my life as it was then and couldn't see children being a positive at that time (21, third year of uni means I'm not settled in a career yet so when i get a job its bottom of the totem pole and id need time to establish my career, relationships at uni vs relationships outside of uni are really different and i id want a couple of years after uni to get the relationship on a good path and couldn't see how adding kids straight way was good for the relationship. Stress additional challenges at a time of massive change similarly id want the first few years of married life to be about establishing an US how we do things work on things work out problems vs married then immediately after kid so.. They've never experienced married life without having a child is want time to explore marriages challenges tribulations an rewards before taking that step) I wasn't nasty or vitriolic aboutitjust shocked how many have had kids by that point and an admittance that at 21 i was not in my view ready to have kids and Jesus you'd have thought id walked onto their front room and done unspeakable acts to their cat on the Sunday china from the level of abuse and nattiness' i got. I was called immature, told i was wasting my life, told i needed to grow up by the aforementioned girl with the sex offender boyfriend (you have no idea how tempted I was to post something like 'the *fruitcage* you know about actually having a child changing your life, you lost custody to your ex every hearing has said you can't have custody and you can't even have visits without being supervised because you prioritise *fruitcage* a sex offender over your child' when she was attacking me telling me i needed to grow the *fruitcage* up. My mother worked in SS so i got updates on how the disabled lot from school she fondly imagined I was friends with, the group i got stuck with in pe and sat at break times and at lunch etc etc because 'your all disabled so you have to be friends' segregation was a thing) and i got just insulted and abused as if me saying i can't see being ready and on a place in my life where having kids is a good thing somehow attacks and hurts them... As if me saying I'm happy where i am in life and enjoy the time o myself and the ability to do stuff without needing babysitters and detailed plans and having my free money (like the extra after bills) be all free to do stuff with vs needing to put it into 'family wants' was somehow me saying that they *fruitcage*ed up and had *suitcase* life choices or whatever. There is a social pressure to settle down spit out a couple of kids and get married and i do know people who got married pretty much because society said they needed to and the same for having kids. Thankfully I'm used to people thinking I'm subhuman and subnormal so I'm not massively bothered that certain people look down on me because I'm not getting married soon and i don't intend to have kids and i don't feel the need to justify myself to them when they ask why not. As if 'because we don't want children' isn't a good enough answer they want to know of its a medical thing or a issue with one of you getting the third degree and the stinkeye as if there's no greater sin that to not have exhausted every option to ensure you can procreate, no one more contemptible than a happy DINKie couple. Although in my case there is a fairly vocal minority who tell me i shouldn't have kids at all and in fact i shouldn't be allowed to have children and the government should ensure that so i can't win really can i?
  11. paranoiddroid

    The Computer Question Thread

    Um... Guys... How easy is it to install a think pad keyboard replacement?
  12. paranoiddroid

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    Hedge the only time you would need a new launcher is if you couldn't take something that long and shove it in there and get it to bang. Ooh er missus etc etc etc. I still want a tag round for my pistol grenade launcher that im tempted to try to convert into the German issue launcher type thing.
  13. paranoiddroid

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Lone Bullet, sorry hun its not really something you can TL;DR but basically. The target system is wank because it means they have an incentive to not acknowledge stuff till they can hit targets and make the process so hard you die or give up so you aren't affecting their targets. The current system trying to prevent people abusing drugs makes it hard to get meds and coz of that I get treated like im a smackhead when they *fruitcage* up and put me through withdrawal The NHS system means it doesn't matter if you've done x before they still demand you try it when seeing a new specialist because 'policy' in order to access the bit that actually helps. If i ask for help with the paperwork side of stuff potentially they could decide im incompetent and assign me someone to look over my shoulder and manage my affairs including manage my money for me meaning i have to beg someone for permission to spend my own money and get pocket money doled out by someone else only allowed to have so much of my money at any one time. The NHS has doctors who don't speak English well enough to be understandable and those docs being of a different culture occasionally allow their morals and cultural background ti influence how they treat patients meaning because my hip moved and clicked into a new position during sex the conservative lutheran doctor decided because i was 16 and unmarried that wasn't actually an issue that needed looking at. People tend to do stuff to 'help' and make decisions without asking me either what i want or what I can do physically and get *suitcase* with me when I get unhappy with that. The system is *suitcase* because it makes things needlessly difficult so much so that it feels like their trying to drive you to kill yourself because of the stress and worry in order o stop having to do anything to help. The ultimate TL;DR LOL answer is the government are *Ubarflock*, they could *fruitcage* up a wet dream and gov targets and policies only make things harder because you aren't a person you are a number. Stunt, thanks im glad to be back, you are all awesome people because you put up with me whining and offer advice. On that note how easy is it to replace a think pad keyboard?
  14. paranoiddroid

    Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?

    Basically any moscart LAUNCHER long enough to chamber the shell can fire a tag round. The SHELL is what is special, so for example you cant just buy a box of the Reaper air burst shells and whack then in an S thunder long shell and expect them to work. The tag launcher kit as some places label it is a special shell which has rifling on the inside of the shell which allows the tag payload to do its thing. There are special tag launchers out there designed for tag rounds but iirc that is a version of the CAW 6 shot launcher that's been tailor made for the longer tag shells. Someone at the site the boy goes to uses one of the plastic s-thunder launchers to fire tag air burst rounds and when i get round to sending Ed the boys launcher to fix he will use the metal elfin lied (the one s thunder and now cyma have cloned) pistol hand cannon thing to launch them Does that make more sense? And also id tell you off for ot not being gluten free because its a terrible waste of a chocolate chip cake thing whereas gluten free cakes which are usually filled with calorie free fat free dairy free taste free mockolate and are only worth using as a payload for a moscart launcher
  15. paranoiddroid

    My eye! Sweet Jesus, Ouch!

    Every single time i see a new pain management team some 'bright sparks sends me to CBT thing is... In my case its *badger*s. It DOES NOT WORK for someone like me who *massive simplification here* is depressed because she is a drug addict, though not a drug addict by most peoples measures because I'm not taking more than I'm prescribed or doing things like crushing and snorting or injecting after dissolving in alcohol what I'm prescribed I'm am physically dependant on opiates. I am depressed because of that physical dependance on the opiates to function albeit in a rubbish way. (basically my choice is curled up in a ball bed bound or staggering around/wheelchair masively tired and struggling but at least able to live on my own and 'function') The measures that the NHS use to codify is your depression worse this week y/n delete as appropriate fundamentally DO NOT WORK for me and people like me where questions like how you are eating, not sleeping vs oversleeping, leaving the house, speaking to people/engaging in social interaction are more to do with 1. The pain level and exhaustion from the condition and 2. How *suitcase* the drugs are making me feel. The depression doesn't rank high enough on the list of imputs that other than the occassional melt down Blip, because every *fruitcage* person i know constantly asks stupid questions about when I'm going to get better or decides that they know how to 'help' by patronizing the *fruitcage* out of me and making decisions about what i am physically capable of without actually asking me and then when i get irritated they wrap it up with 'we are just concerned that you don't over stretch yourself and are trying to help' which apparently makes deciding that I'm not capable of doing anything i actually want to do and ensuring that on larp events/various other things i sit in camp and do nothing vs being allowed to actually do something and I'm apparently meant to be magically ok with that because they are 'thinking of your health' or whatever excuse they have for taking away my right to choose what i do or do not do/attempt to do because everyone else knows better than me what i can and can't do apparently. And when i do get irritated with this I'm 'emotional' or Bring unfair' etc etc etc all designed to make me out as the unreasonable one which cements their idea that they are doing a 'good thingTM. So if I know that CBT does not work precisely because the end result of it is usually 'helping the patient with the creation of short term daily goals with the aim of giving the patient a feeling of success' or some variation of that. In my case the fact that I've gone from being a 14s 100m sprinter, competing at junior national and home nation events to having to set short term goals that include such highlights as Manage to shift a weeks worth of washing down 14 stairs and load it into a washing machine' as a daily goal to feel positive about is utter *suitcase*. The short term or attainable goals thing fundamentally DOES NOT WORK for me because the reason i am depressed is entirely due to the rapid rehabilitation of my health, physical ability and fitness combined with the fact that i know EXACTLY what would cute my depression BUT that is completely and utterly unattainable because i have no magic wand and the general idea of Patient is given antidepressants, patient is stabilised, patient can face issues causing depression whilst at an even keep, patient stops taking antidepressants will not work for me because hmmm what's the reason I'm depressed Oh yeah i need to take a handful of pills every 6hrs daily to cope and experience physical addiction symptoms that have thanks to *fruitcage* stupid NHS policies like a GP conducting a yearly review on a drug prescribed and manages by a specialist so a drug they have no right or training or ability to change, not contacting the patient when its due therefore blocking the medications from being refilled meaning that due to local policy they don't issue an emergency appointment and instead put that patient through 3-7 days of full opiate withdrawal all to tick a bock saying thwy had a 5 minute 'yes you are on drugs x,y and z, no nothings changed, no I'm not allowed to change anything, no the specialist hasn't changed anything thank you Ms Droid your prescriptions will be ready in 2working days' at which point i get annoyed and frustrated and then get the script but... Iv been through 2-4days of hell shaking puking dizzy spells sweating basically the cold turkey scene in train spotting and then have to wait 24hrs because the gov won't let a pharmacy stock *fruitcage* all in terms of controlled drugs because of a policy of looking after smackheads and avoiding prison means that pharmacies get robbed allot. So basically to prevent people getting high thanks to docs writing scrips without need or people getting high Privately purchased drugs they make me risk my health and lose my dignity because due to the fact I'm young and after going through this i end up looking greasy haired and shivering with the smackhead shakes I get dirty looks waiting for my tablets and even when I'm ok every jumped up little twerp pharmacist tries to interrogate me about the medications I'm on because their either fully paid up members of the Junior G Men society and get a hardon from the very thought they may catch someone doing untoward with their tablets. (and if i collect anything a day earlier than the 24-48hra before due date this type think is acceptable to you know prevent pharmacy screwups/rta's/strikes etc from putting me through withdrawal I get the same lecture)or they look at me and see late 20's, jeans and a hoody and a coat shifting impatiently coz i can't sit/stand comfortably and just assume I'm an addict. Finding a regular pharmacist helps but they can't preorder CD's in without a scrip and i can't get mine on repeats so have to phone each month. But because CBT is a tickbox on the way through the system and its drilled into their heads during training that it is good and it will fix people i keep getting sent to it despite being able to prove that it just makes things worse because they don't get any decent data to offer support guidance with and the goals/management pathways actually make me more depressed by pointing out in stark detail exactly how badly my life has been ruined by the lies and incompetence of previous medical professionals'. I don't have any suggestions on how to change the systems to make them better other than some form of encouragement for people to listen to patients as humans but i don't know how to change that really well... I have a few suggestions bout minimum standards of spoken English for doctors and medical staff for one along with a contract that states that any complaints about someone manner are looked at externally vs inside the hospital as well as allowing for any change in treatment you offer a patient or any condemnation or refusal to see something as an issue due to your own moral/cultural views which don't fit with British culture be grounds for a disciplinary hearing (at 16 i reported a problem with my hip to a house officer the one who eventually discovered the ankle damage that had been ignored actually. This problem was basically that there were occassiona that my hip had moved, crunched and locked in a position different to normal causing me quote intense pain and the inability to move for a good chunk of time. This issue had only happened in certain situations. When i reported this i got a shocked look from the guy who was iirc German fairly hardline Lutheran and his first comment was basically that due to my age and marital status that issue shouldn't be a problem...) To fix the CBT issue, I think a national NHS database and an elimination of the tickbox referal system needs to happen (the you need to see X person but to get there we have to send you to A b F and T who will trial 3-4 things each regardless of whether this has been done before somewhere else because 'policy says...' Or 'guidelines require' or Finding for x requires us to show that a b and t isn't working' and the same thing needs to happen with medication to get one of the meds i can prove helps... I have to run through the list of opiates find a specialist willing to consider it and if i voice any addmittance the stuff helps i won't get it because of the drug being based on something that's illegal and considered to have no possible medical use) The pharmacy thing.... Not entirely sure how to fix that but i suspect that a combination of swiss and Portuguese policies on hard drugs (decrimilisation from the porto logic which frees the gov to deal woth the crimes done to make money to buy drugs and the violence etc with government control of the production and supply line in the case of Swiss attitude to heroin meaning addicts can use in a controlled safe environent and remain functional members of society vs injecting fentatyl spiked heroin cut with lemon pledge that dissolves skin and the health issues that go with that) combined with a decriminalized and legalised policy on other drugs as appropriate Follow Oregon's policy on cannabis (taxed, personal grows with limits same as brewing beer, the supply of dispensaries being slanted towards small businesses, mandate that only certain things can be used on plants, regulations on size of commercial grows to prevent big businesses creating a monopoly, all things produced to be tested consumers supplied with the grower's details so its tracable, the strain, the the and cbd level as tested by a private lab facility at the cost of the grower and the details of said lab alng with a batch id so that this info can be verified) Stuff like mdma/e/amphetamines I'm honestly not sure about but i do believe that psychotropic drugs like LSD and Magic mushrooms and oh god there was another really famous one the one that the BBC filmed a scientist take and he documented it for the show back in the 60's mescaline i think? could be legalised safely though it would require huge amounts of information campaigns. My own experiences with mushrooms when they were legal weren't harmful and credit hat experience with helping me grow up and begin to deal with some of the horrible stuff that had gone on in my life and I'm fairly convinced that they can help people. A view supported by research into using various psychotropic drugs in the treatment of PTSD in the last few years. Fascinating tuff to be honest. But... The war on drugs to borrow a term isn't working and all the restrictions are doing and they are getting worse over time, all they are doing is making it harder for people like me, patients using then as directed to get access to the medication.I'm having to rely on pharmacy orders to arrive in 24 hours of them receiving the scrip due to the policies of not renewing controlled drug scrips less than 5 days before they are due so 12-24hrs for the area prescription line to send the request to the gp (sinve in my area we cant just phone the gp anymore the gp can only process dropped in written requests) 48hrs for the docs to write the scrip the the third day at some point it ends up in the queue for transfer to the pharmacy so they get it at 530-6pm so the med goes onto the order list for the next morning and then I'm generally speaking going to be close to due completely so i have to hope everything works and its not out of stock at the distributors or the particular brand of the stuff I'm prescribed hasn't been pulled off the market because apparently the brand matters with a generic scrip since giving me oxycodone would be a crime since my scrip says oxylase even though its basically tesco oxycodone vs sainsburies oxycodone. I don't know how to change the system but i know in a few areas its massively broken and its its so needlessly hard you end up feeling like you re drowning allot of the time. Hedge, the CAB has occassionally been helpful but they aren't really allowed to help you phrase questions they can only have stuff dictated to them without having to declare and sign stuff and generally iv always feared that using that sort of thing calls into question my competance which will lead to me losing my independance as they will assume that i can't manage my own affairs which will lead to me begging a court appointed 'advisor' or whatever the new pc term is for pocket money when i want to go do something and... Just I can't because i don't want that kind of 'help' where I'm at the whim of what other people think is acceptable. Iv had that experience where iv been lectured by paid help with the 'are you really sure you want to buy that crate of guinness' type attitude during a thing i got asked to help with training carers and support workers by going shopping with a couple to give them an idea of what sort of assistance might be needed and much like thenLSA system at school our parents and grandparents generations have the patronising physically disabled means mentally disabled type thing and i don't want to be treated like a child and have to beg permission for pocket money and justify what i want it for.
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