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I need cheering up.


gazchap

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I found these made me laugh man, hope they make ya smile, chin up bud :)

 

Newspaper Quotes:

 

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for NorthWest Gas said "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."

(The Daily Telegraph)

 

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a special branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

(The Guardian)

 

After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, 30-year-old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist B*stards. The bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr. Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist B*stards has asked them to repay the 69p balance, by cheque, made out in his new name.

(The Guardian)

 

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common".

(The Times)

 

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

(Aberdeen Evening Express)

 

Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle ofour lawn in February 1946, they spelt out "Heil Hitler".

(Bournemouth Evening Echo)

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I think its just to salve their consciences, and they win both ways- if you say "yes", they get to think you're not really that hurt, and they can phone you at two in the morning to tell you abou how their latest boyfriend treats them badly but she loves them anyway.
Well if she thinks she can do that then she can *fruitcage* right off ;)

 

If she does enter into a relationship with this other git, then I'd better not hear anything of it other than the "yes we're together now" bit (so I know that it's final). If we did stay as friends and she ever brought him up into conversation or I ever met him, that would be it :P

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stop trying to queer gazchap up havoc- I know what you predatory perverts are up to! taking advantage of a chaps suffering to have your wicked ways with him.

 

Its just not cricket, dya hear?!

Emoicon_D_Panty_Snatched_by_SynDuo.gif

 

:unsure:

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Look at G_R- dating a girl like Tessa, who I'm sure was wonderful in many respects, but who just didn't appreciate him for who he was- that ends, and next thing he knows, he's dating a fellow gun-nut! how happy making is that?

 

doesn't get much better...

 

Yeah, it does.

 

Having her come crawling back 6 months later, showing up at a club night I regualry attend, to see a thinner, sexier, better looking chick wrapped around me.

 

PWN3D! Revenge was way too sweet.....

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Lol

 

Tell ya what i'll make mp3 of me trying to sing that make anyone laugh

 

 

 

Oh and the best thing to do in a situation like this (just been reject *ahem* several times*ahem*) It's to think to yourself I'm a god i do hell no girl can handle my divine qualitie. Hell i'm even getting that platnium hair what god has

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Nah, it's great, becasue she completely understands why I *need* to buy guns. Admittedly, I get the bug far more, but she gets it too; the battle cry tends to be "Oooh, Shiny!"

My current girlie isnt an airsofter (yet), but does understand and even feed my obsession (hobby). Just takes the biscuit when she comes round after being out shopping with her mum and says 'This is for you'. And then hands me a 24'x30' section of camo netting. I mean I can hide a small vehicle under this thing, but it means a lot because she thinks about me.

 

Best bit? I wouldn't even have been with her if my former g/f (5 years living together then shacks up with the bloke that used to share the house with us <_< ) and I hadn't parted ways. Life is full of twists and turns mate, and I really believe all things happen for a reason.

 

:)

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One thing i've learnt was that life is perseption. If you make life *beep* it's going to be *beep*. We all(well some really) can actuall say we've be there and done that and won the t-shirt Just chin up

 

 

In saying that though a good mosh every now and again does no harm :D

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