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christoff hitler

The joke thread.

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hi,

dont post any stupid jokes about babies or anything wierd like that.

the best ones i know are-

Your mum is so stupid she tried to drown a fish

 

Your mum is so stupid she trippd over a cordless telephone wire

 

If there two chavs in a car with no music, whos driving?

The police.

 

So if you know any good jokes post them here --->

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the best (I sincerely hope not) ones i know are-

 

Your mum is so stupid she tried to drown a fish perfectly doable, actually

 

Your mum is so stupid she trippd over a cordless telephone wire again, perfectly doable

 

So if you know any good jokes post them in one of the other joke threads

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Q) What do you call a bus full of chavs at the bottom of the ocean?

A) A good start

 

Q)What do you call a chav in a car

A) Thief

 

Q) What do you cal 5 chavs in a car

A) Organised Crime

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Of course you've all heard this one but just so its covered:

 

Q:What is the similarity between a chav and a slinky?

 

A:Both are basically useless, but it is mildly amusing to watch them fall down a flight of stairs.

 

Speaking of which, has anyone heard the one about the dyslexic, agnostic and insomniac who stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog?

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Q) Why did the Chav cross the road?

A) To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

 

Q) How do you start an argument with a chav?

A) Speak

 

Q) What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?

A) What you lookin' at?"

 

Q) How do you identify the bride at a chav wedding?

A) She is the most pregnant one.

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1. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?

 

Innit.

 

2. There are two muffins in an oven, one says to the other:

"Man, it looks like we're done for."

the other one responds:

"HOLY *beep*! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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how was copper wire invented?

 

 

Two Scottish people fighting over a penny!!

 

What's Irish and stays out all night?

Paddy 0'Furniture

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well since were turning this into the worst jokes ever thread

 

Q) Whats big, red and eats rocks

 

A) a big red rock eater

 

 

knock knock

who's there

Amonia

Amonia who

Amonia little girl and i cant reach the doorbell

 

 

a piece of string walks into a bar and orders a pint, the barman says "sorry we dont serve string here" so the piece of string walkso outside, He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

 

 

a duck walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says sorry we dont serve ducks" the duck replies "thats good because i dont want a duck i want a beer

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

A. Wanna ride dirt bikes?

 

What goes in hard and pink and comes out wet and sticky?

 

A. gum

 

If con is the opposite of con what is the opposite of progress?

 

I can't think of any more right now.

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i found that joke funnier when it was

 

the human body was designed by the council. who else would run a waste pipe through a recreational area

 

 

also like

 

whats the similarity between talking to the mafia and giving a woman oral sex? one slip of the tongue and your in the s**t

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man all this eurpeon talk ruined it for me, i dont even know what a chav is ! and well using mum instead of mom kinda makes jokes lame too, but heres some american mom jokes

 

yo mommas so fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles

yo mommas so fat she uses buses as roller skates

yo mommas so dumb she starved in a grocerie store

 

eh i couldnt think of any of the good ones that i laughed at but those were the ones i could remember

 

heres some other american-dumb related humor

 

4 guys walk into a bar, theres one stool left. how do they all sit down?

 

flip it over

 

how do you create a stampede in los angeles?

 

throw a penny down the street

 

meh whatever i cant think of anything good

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yes america where all good comedians go to cry.

 

 

in a comedy club

 

a white jamacian comic is on cahhatting away and someone shouts out if you jamacian why aint you black?

he re[laies htere are white jamacians, isnt my accent a clue?

heckler shouts out again "if youse jamacian sing us one of those rasta songs"

Comidian shouts in the mic, swearing non stop for 20 seconionds.

helckler " that was good sing us another one"

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how does every racist joke start?

 

by looking over both shoulders

 

 

how many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

none, they just sit in the dark and cry.

 

 

excuse me sir, why is there a blue man sitting on your porch??

 

(pm me for the answer, i dont fancy my chances if i post it here)

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