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hitman the movie

pugboy

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birchm

birchm

Posted
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Absolutely not. It looks terrible.

 

The movie looks slick, it's directed by a frenchman, and produced by luc besson, so it should make for a fun bit of escapism, and from the clips I've seen it doesn't look half bad. Pretty much on par with the other decent movies based on games.

 

I should add, if you want a good idea of the film, it might be better to look at released clips rather than the trailer, since you actually see how some action scenes are set up.

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Chris North

Chris North

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I'm not going to knock it 'till I've seen it, but I'm not going to see it until it's on one of the pay channels.

 

Interesting enough though, it's gotten a decent review from Roger Ebert. Still don't think it's going to be any good though, at least not to those that like the game.

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Hick

Hick

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I saw the movie today, and I though it was pretty good. I don;t really have much experience with the game, but from what I've seen the actor does actually look pretty Agent47ish, and the whole "protected by divinity" thing doesn't really play into the film at all. I don't want to give away the movie, but the other complaints in this thread are adressed in the actual movie IMO, and the commercials seem to just be giving people false notions about the movie. But, regardless of any problems people may have with the authenticity of the movie and Agent47's actions, it was by no means a dissapointing movie, and is definitely worth seeing if you ask me.

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Agent47

Agent47

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Posted

Agent 47's comprehensive review of his "own" movie (possible spoiler alert)

 

Ahem.

 

I'm starting to think that Xavier Gens must have missed the whole point of "my" game. The idea was that you (as "me," your friendly neighborhood clone assassin) are supposed to sneak around without being seen and eliminate 1 or 2 targets, or perhaps gather intel, or rescue a hostage (occasionally - I don't trust very many people). Throw on a couple of disguises, garrotte or syringe some guards, make the hit look like an "accident," or take it easy with my Walther WA2000 (that makes a brief appearance but isn't used to kill anyone, sadly, it's my favorite rifle) or Blazer R93 (my second favorite, used to actually kill people) - whack the target, and make like a banana and split. I've been raised in an asylum for most of my life, okay, and I'm still trying to learn your "social graces" here. If you drew too much attention to yourself it got increasingly hard to carry out your job as guards and civilians will notice you.

 

Mr. Gens probably just upgraded my HK416 with some stinkin "Beta-Drum-super-duper-1337-hicap" mag and ran around killing pretty much everyone. He's nearly pulled a Uwe Boll on me - a plot line with so many holes, much more than the amount of bullets I've shot into my targets, and pretty one-dimensional characters. The movie is saved by some pretty cool action sequences and snappy dialogue - which I think is standard fare for American action movies.

 

So after I syringed this pimply-faced usher, took his uniform, and movie-hopped (hint: this "Bee Movie" STINKS), this is what I think:

 

Presentation - The somewhat gritty tone and unsavory characters "I" have to deal with fit somewhat into the theme and targets of "my" series. The characters are one-dimensional, but just so in order to capture the feeling of the game, but not really to capture an audience's attention. Xavier Gens made a promise to be faithful to the game - he probably did it too well, and didn't allow for accessibility for the general population. However, it's short running time really cuts it off at the knees - Mr. Gens could have extended the cut in order to address some of the glaring plot holes...

 

Plot - I really couldn't make much sense of it, apparently they have "me" trying to stop some bad Russian dudes while keeping this Interpol agent off of me. Uh...yeah. I wasn't really sure WHY they were bad, it was mentioned a little bit, and amplified with one of the main characters. The whole subplot with Interpol tailing me seemed tacked on, not going into how he even picked up "my" trail (which means I'm starting to get rusty...great), or why he's so obsessed with "me" over his family (hell I only found out at the last minute). The whole shebang about "my" involvement with the CIA and intelligence agencies? Barely touched on - and the movie trailer guy said "I" was "sworn to serve the world's most covert intelligence agencies." They did get right (well, somewhat) my origins - raised in a remote location, trained to kill from childhood - but that's about it. They didn't touch on things like Dr. Ort-Meyer, the other clones (well they do show up in the movie - and all of them are EXTREMELY INCOMPETENT - well compared to "me", besides, 17 was a big challenge), "my" training (which was pretty much part of the opening sequence with the credits), or the issues surrounding "my" creation (who I am, what am I supposed to do, etc.) The Agency is non-existent, it's more like a disembodied voice, and Diana only speaks for one part of the movie. Maybe the ICA got switched around for the CIA, I don't know. This whole plot thing about trying to decide what kind of person "I" am? Doesn't really surface - it's only addressed at the beginning and the end of the movie, and is also barely touched on. The reason why "I" was set up? Never explained. The "damaged girl" part that is supposed to change "me"? Not fully developed - well, you have to look really hard in order to see any sort of "change," it's more about the body language rather than dialogue. The average movie-goer may not necessarily pick up on the plot. A film critic may be exasperated.

 

Characters (warning spoilers)

 

Me (Agent 47) - Timothy Olyphant is okay. He looks like a younger version of "myself," and sounds similar to "me." However "I" think he played it too robotically - which is a double-edged sword ("I" don't like using those). On one hand "I" was raised to be a stoic person, however, "my" training allows me to act just like anyone else in order to get closer to the target. The movie was billed as "Agent 47 - a man trained to kill, no conscience, no mercy, no remorse, etc. etc." - well Timothy kinda nailed that part - I think he was too afraid to make a transition to caring, either that, or it would break the tone of the movie - which is also hampered by its run time (1 hour 40 minutes?!?! COME ON! - you had ample time to elaborate on everything! Okay Mr. Gens if you had a low budget, I understand). His reactions to Nika (the "omg damsel in distress") are pretty funny (by your standards), especially when she tries to seduce him, or their initial encounters. To everyone else, its really just idle *chaffinch*-chat - or they're dead. He does seem to elaborate a bit on the actions and dialogue between hits (a decent attempt), as most of the games don't have "me" talk much, and if "I" do, its mostly to gather information, but not when "I'm" taken out of my element.

 

Actions wise - this is where he shines through. Timothy and Mr. Gens pulled some pretty standard moves out of the playbook, and the plans carried out "I" would have thought of already. They have "me" donning disguises, syringing people, setting traps, shooting up people, killing them with sniper rifles, garrotting one guy (until he passes out) - but nothing really clever like just a simple "push off the balcony" or the "oops a chandelier fell on your head" or anything brutal like a good throat slashing or beat-your-head-into-the-table-until-your-brains-ooze-out deal (there was some instances of that but the camera panned too quickly for the audience to take it in) You see a lot more of the brutal side of "me" as that is what Dr. Ort-Meyer trained "me" to do, originally to be the best soldier out of an army of "mes." They also make note of my excellent observational skills in one scene - whoop-dee-do.

 

One more thing. I hate Audis. Period. Give me a BMW 750Li - Nika's driver needs to have more taste. Jackasses.

 

Nika - Nika apparently is some "witness" that saw "me" "assassinate" one of the main bad Russian dudes. Okay, so she is a prostitute sold to the head bad Russian dude, who is running for the Russian presidency - even though it isn't explained why someone wants him dead, or even his campaign issues. Then the fools turn it around on you by having "me" say that she never saw "me" but then they have "me" dragging her along anyways. There are brief flashbacks as to how she is "damaged," but it doesn't stir you up like it's supposed to (well the feminazi that sat next to "me" was going on and on, fortunately for her the usher came for her as "I" really wanted to use my new garrotte...)

 

The Interpol Agent and sidekick - Mr. Gens wanted "me" to grow as a character through him - but it just fails. Dougray Scott just looks one-sided here, as a man trying to chase "me" all over the world (have fun with that suckers). It's all about business for him, trying to find his "ghost." It's revealed he has a family at the end but how his work affects his family isn't touched on (well the movie IS about "me...")

 

The Bad Russian Dudes - There's three of them, a presidential candidate, the head of the FSB, and the president's brother. Nothing is known about why the presidential candidate needs to be eliminated, or what his new-fangled "moderate" stance is. The head of the FSB sounds very one-dimensional with a stereotypical accent and sniveling attitude. The president's brother is a crazed arms dealer and sex slave trader - and apparently the presidential candidate is covering for him. Other than that - it's pretty clear they are bad dudes - but any audience probably can't make a connection to them as to why they're doing it. Well, those of you that played the games never really had a connection to your targets anyway didn't you?

 

"My" "brothers" - Okay, the other clones that Dr. Ort-Meyer created show up, although they don't really look like "me" (ever heard of computer editing, Mr. Gens?) - they just randomly show up and try and kick the stuffing out of "me" and fail miserably - these are guys "I" fought back at the asylum and even "I" had a hard time beating them) - no explanation as to who hired them or why they're attacking me. Plus I didn't know "I" could hide two swords under "my" coat - Mr. Gens did you like that Japan mission too much?

 

The soldiers aka cannon fodder - geardos listen up, those outfits look pretty cool, take note.

 

CIA Agents - basically no connection is made between me and the CIA. WTF.

 

Diana - a disembodied voice. That's it. No sense whatsofrickinever.

 

Action Sequences - decent, some not really memorable, and mostly predictable.

 

In short, "Hitman" is basically like any other action movie. A bunch of gunfights, one-liners, some funny dialogue, and a pretty damsel-in-distress stung together. But it has "me" in it. And "I'm" awesome. So this movie is kind of awesome. As long as my "series" lives on, this film is probably going to reach "cult status," or it will probably serve to draw interest into the games themselves. Personally I think the very first game in the series would have made for a better storyline.

 

Rating: 2 Silverballers and one Walther PPK out of a possible 5 Silverballers.

 

List of kills (SPOILERS):

 

An African warlord - the prisoner he's captured? "I" surgically opened him up and placed a bomb in his stomach. Blew him up just as he was about to get tortured.

 

The Russian presidential candidate (#1 attempt) - sniper rifle, Blazer R93, and apparently "I" miss from 4 km. "I'm" not that bad.

 

Old man clone "brother" - his barcode area is all wrinkly - he initially shoots at "me" with his Dragunov when I first see Nika, then he chases "me" around a train station and then "I" shoot him up.

 

4 other clone "brothers" - "I" didn't even know there was an African clone - "I" thought we were all albinos? Well basically "we" do this ridiculous "drop the guns" thing and "we" fight each other with swords "we" have hidden in our shirts - yeah "I" know it doesn't make much sense. Three impaled, one strangled.

 

Assistant to arms dealer brother - put laxative in his soup, hid "my" silverballer in a toilet, waited for him to run to the bathroom, got the gun and syringe, blasted the bodyguards, syringed him, and blasted the dudes who frisked "me."

 

Arms dealer brother - meet up with him in his seedy club surrounded by barely dressed women and his henchmen - kill frikin everyone in a gunfight.

 

Head of FSB - kidnapped from FSB headquarters with an inverted garrote strangle, laid him in a tub full of water with generator wires running into the water, and secured with barbed wire - told him to tell his agent to shoot the candidate or he fries 30,000 volts strong - placed a rubber ducky in there with him for good measure - "I" think he's fried.

 

The Russian presidential candidate (#2 attempt) - attends funeral of scumbag arms dealer brother, FSB head's agent shoots at bulletproof glass on podium, this makes the bodyguards squirrel him away. "I" dress up as an elite soldier and gun down all of the bodyguards at the right moment, drag him into a room, fight yet ANOTHER clone "brother," interrogate him, kill him, and then escape from a Hind gunship.

 

Last clone "brother" - comes out of nowhere in the church and attacks "me" - "I" give him a good head stomping.

 

Any questions?

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Professor Bobo

Professor Bobo

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Posted

Anyone know of a kitlist for those russian blackops guys? They looked AWESOME.

 

 

Professor Bobo's Patented three-phrase review:

Olyphant doesn't feel like 47, some good action, not as good as the Transporter.

---SPOILERS---

Unfortunately, I have a high comprehension level, so I under stood the plot. I am depressed.

Liked:

Russians.

Some of the game send-ups.

most of the action.

Russian Kit.

Some of the circuitous plot

WA 200 was in there

Russian gas masks

table o' guns

47's speech to the gun runner

russian "coffee"

 

 

Disliked:

Olyphant: NOT a good 47, in my opinion. He was too busy trying to strangle his emotions, as opposed to genuinely not having them or successfully repressing them. Should have been Statham (looks like he knows what he's doing), maybe Vin Diesel (exudes "I'll kill you" vibes well).

Clone/hit fight scene: WTF not explained. They just show up. Huh? Nothing prior to it. Just "poof".

No Silverballers. Gah.

Not enough of the hitman-style "I didn't do it- I just lined up the pieces" or "Horrible accident" type kills

Gunship: WHY?

Plot was a bit leaky.

Questions at beginning and end: When did 47 ever need to question his actions?

DIANA.

 

 

Compared to other hitman movies (Leon, Transporter, Bourne) it rates an "failure to bad"

Compared to the games, it rates a non-canonical "Poor to failure"

Compared to other Video Game movies, it rates a "Good to OK"

Better than Ewe Boll by a long shot. I'd say it may be worth a rent/flix, maybe. Probably not a purchase.

All my personal opinion though. I though Brazil is one of the best movies ever, so take that into consideration.

 

I did see it with friends, so my viewpoint is rather obscured that way.

 

 

Edit- forgot to take the "company" factor into account.

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