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Chav kids...


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A young chav woman is being interviewed with her four brats roaming all over the place. Then interviewer becomes curious, as the young mother addresses each of the kids as 'Kevin' when they push too close.


- Have you named them all Kevin?

- Yes, it's so much easier. [Can't lower myself to writing Chavlic...]

- But what if you really need to tell one of them something?

- Of course then I use their family name... :o

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Q: What do you call a chav in jail?

A: Safe


Q: What do you call a chav in a box?

A: Init


Q: What do you say to a chav at work?

A: Big Mac and chips please


Q: What do you call a chav in a suit?

A: Guilty


Q: Two chavs in the back of a car and there's no music on, who is driving?

A: The Police


Q: What do you call a chav in a dinner jacket?

A: Waiter


I have more just no time to type them, cya. And enjoy!

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I love these chav jokes. :D




I was thinking, though, if a woman is unmarried and has a child, doesn't that child technically take on the name of the woman, and not the father?

I thin it depends on the local laws, but I think the kids are generally entitled to their father's name if said father either acknowledges or is named in a paternity suit...


But I am not an international lawyer, so don't quote me in the court cases... :)


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Not entirely accurate but not wrong at the same time, a Chav is a drain on society and a waste of DNA. They tend to go in for ball caps worn at stupid angles and hooded tops to hide their faces from the ever present cctv camera's and really cheap nasty but blocky jewelry (think Mr T in 3 carat gold) and have managed to bastardise the English language to such an extent that most normal people don't understand every other word (the ones we do understand are usually foul, four lettered and rhyme with "duck") a very few get jobs at MacDonalds as the majority are more at home with lying to get "job seekers allowance" the lie being "looking for work". with some of them the only "jobs" they pull are robbing the local paper shop.

Chav families have somtimes as many as 5 generations alive at the same time all claiming benefit (with some well publiciesed cases bringing in over 40000 pounds a year (that matches my houhold income and both myself and the misses work full time)).

i once saw a 5gen family, baby in push chair being pushed by the mother (age about 13) whose hand was held by her mother (now an ancient 26) walking next to her 40 year old mother whose mother was present (and aged around 60 I think)


Typical words used are "Init" "safe" and "F*** off pig", "Watchoo lookin at?" and similar.


there was a recent strike by teachers over here, a newspaper had a cartoon in showing the strike march with a police officer and two chavs on he pavement, one chav laments to the other "if I could read I'd know if I supported this lot or not"

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Yeah, that's a pretty good summary, Brick. I'd just add that the have a bad habit of trying to intimidate anyone and everyone within sight, which is quite easy considering how much of a reputation they have for violence and muggings. Knife crime, and to a lesser extent gun crime, is rife within chav gangs and is a major problem in large cities.


Good old Wikipedia has a reasonable description if you want more detail, but basically they're bad news and to be avoided whenever possible. That's why everyone in the UK hates them and why jokes like these proliferate.


In a dying attempt to remain a little more on topic:


Q. What's wrong when 4 chavs drive a car off a cliff?

A. You could have fitted 2 more in the boot.


Q. Why shouldn't you run over a chav riding a bike?

A. It could be your bike.


Q. What's the answer to chav 'culture'?

A. Large amounts of high explosive.

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