Best complaint ever!

[DarkLite]

DL: So what's the problem with your gun?

SG: It's not working.

DL: Ok - what kind of noise do you hear when you pull the trigger?

SG: No noise - nothing, it just doesn't work.

DL: No noise?

SG: Nothing.

DL: Right - give it here.

 

*15 minutes later after opening MP5 and opening and checking Gearbox*

 

DL: Odd - everything seems alright. Lemme test it.

 

*Pop in one of my batteries and gun fires fine*

 

DL: Are you sure your batteries are charged?

SG: Wait, batteries?

DL: Oh FFS.

[Rob15]

[doc_newstead]

You made that up.

[DarkLite]

You made that up.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Nope. 13 year old with a WELL MP5. First skirmish, first gun.

[doc_newstead]

I thought Sledge would have known better.

[Sledge]

Hell, I'd been trying to put propane in the pistol grip for half an hour.

 

[DarkLite]

I thought Sledge would have known better.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I was just in shock for a minute - and it turned out that he was the victim of a bad joke - someone had told him that his MP5 was a gas gun and the poor bugger had been trying to "fill" it with the motor adjustment hex.

[DarkLite]

Hell, I'd been trying to put propane in the pistol grip for half an hour.

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Ok, that's just scary. How did you know that before I typed it?

[Sledge]

I'm Sledge.

 

[doc_newstead]

 

Peter knows all.

[BrentN]

Honestly, I could list a 1000. Probably a few of them better than these but why bother.. lol. After working computers retail for 5 years, bringing up all the ###### that I've had to deal with (and trust me, there are some REAL F'N MORONS THAT USE COMPTURES) I'd probably go into a state of depression. Depression over the fact that the human race can be so freakin retarded sometimes lol

[DrewLawson]

Please share.

[Thechom]

This isnt a complaint, just a stoopied damn question,

 

I work in a pub, and there is a nice carden. Folk come in, and often ask how to get outside. A normal question, you might think.

The front door and the back door are in a perfect straight line to each other. Meaning, if you come in the front, you will see the great hole in the side of the building, leading to the garden you so desperatly covet!

[SwatMP5man]

I worked in Somerfield for a couple of months at the weekends and after school sometimes and this story always made me laugh when some wanted a refund.

 

1 woman in her late 40's who was a right state came in one and bought a pack of those activio good bacteria drinks. At the time they had the deal "if you dont like it return it" going on. the same afternoon she comes in with the cardboard box and 6 empty bottles.

HER:" I didnt like these so can i return them"

MANAGER:"Yes can you fill in this form to say why??"

HER" i didnt like the taste"

MANAGER: "ok"

 

 

Anyway the day after she returned the first box she came back and bought 2boxes of them and low and behold the next day 2 empty boxes and 12 empty bottles.

 

This happened 4 times in total over 9days and eventually the manager asked "Why do you keep buying them if you dont like the taste?"

She replies " Because i thought they had different flavours every day"

 

After they took that offer away we never saw her again

[dryrot141]

" Well sir you pay for your tv license, that is a service,

 

 

TV license?

[williamhorton]

TV license?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

TV License.

[williamhorton]

I worked in Somerfield for a couple of months at the weekends and after school sometimes and this story always made me laugh when some wanted a refund.

 

        1 woman in her late 40's who was a right state came in one and bought a pack of those activio good bacteria drinks. At the time they had the deal "if you dont like it return it" going on. the same afternoon she comes in with the cardboard box and 6 empty bottles.

  HER:" I didnt like these so can i return them"

  MANAGER:"Yes can you fill in this form to say why??"

  HER" i didnt like the taste"

  MANAGER: "ok"

Anyway the day after she returned the first box she came back and bought 2boxes of them and low and behold the next day 2 empty boxes and 12 empty bottles.

 

  This happened 4 times in total over 9days and eventually the manager asked "Why do you keep buying them if you dont like the taste?"

  She replies " Because i thought they had different flavours every day"

 

  After they took that offer away we never saw her again

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Are you sure she wasn't just exploiting that offer to get a load of free drinks?

[badwitchproject]

I used to work for Ondigital as an acting team leader in one of their call centres. We used to get loads of complaints about the service and a hell of a lot of rude English/Welsh callers making racist comments (the call centre being in Belfast). Its late on a friday night and I'm wanting to get out of there as soon as possible so I could go to the pub when one of advisors asked me to deal with a difficult caller. I normally don't mind so I took the call off her.

 

"Hello my names Gerard, how can I help sir?"

 

Him "What did you say your name was paddy?"

 

Now we're allowed to hang up on people if they're rude but I won't unless they're complete t*ats. I'd rather get to the bottom of the problem than pass it on. I reply "The names Gerard sir, what seems to be problem?"

 

He starts ranting about his effing box not recieving any signal. I ask him to give me his account details so I can have a look and see what I can do. Now to the best of my knowledge his rant went like this:

 

"What the f**K do you want that for you f**king paddy? You want to send someone round and kill me? Well I was in the paras I'd take all you b*****ds on."

 

I politely tell him that if theres anymore swearing that I'll terminate the call and that I'm here to help. He takes a moment to calm down and I'm thinking this must be a hoax or a nutjob whos got nothing better to do but I have the guys number on my caller id and I can hear some people talking in the background. He comes back on the phone calmer and starts to explain that he lost the signal on his set top box. I start to run through a few things to get it working but nothing. He explains that he can get one channel so I ask him to go to that channel and tell me what it was. So he promptly does that and tells me he sees the scifi channel. I stop a bit puzzled because at that time we didn't do that channel so I asked him if he had Sky or Ondigital. He replies "What the hell would I pay for that Ondigital ###### I have sky." It took me a few minutes to explain that he had called the wrong company. Apparently someone at Sky gave him our number for technical help.

 

Not so much a disgruntled caller but one that freaked me out a little. Late Sunday night and I'm handling calls. I get a call from an older woman and she provides me with her account details which are all verified. I then ask how I can help her. She then asks for Television X (a porno channel). I tell her that she has to subscribe for a year and explain the cost of it. Shes fine with that and whilst I'm waiting with her for it to come on she explains that her, her son and the sons girlfriend like to sit and watch porn together. She said it gives them ideas. I promptly thanked her for her call and hung up completely disturbed!

[Vice]

No *beep* sherlock

 

 

 

 

When i worked in tech support, being called out because something didnt work usually meant it wasnt switched on.

 

 

Andd one time they complained an update wasnt working, when we went to see it...

 

and

 

In big letters.

 

 

UPDATE IS BEING PLEASE WAIT!

 

With a timer underneath it saying time left.

 

They said they restarted the computer everytime they saw it, and did not know why it was working.

 

 

HOW *fruitcage* OBVIOUS DO yOU HAVE TO BE?

 

 

We sat, all 4 of us, in this small office, for the full time (15mins) to prove our point).

 

Damnblondes

[dannyboy]

Not so much a disgruntled caller but one that freaked me out a little.  Late Sunday night and I'm handling calls.  I get a call from an older woman and she provides me with her account details which are all verified.  I then ask how I can help her.  She then asks for Television X (a porno channel).  I tell her that she has to subscribe for a year and explain the cost of it.  Shes fine with that and whilst I'm waiting with her for it to come on she explains that her, her son and the sons girlfriend like to sit and watch porn together.  She said it gives them ideas.  I promptly thanked her for her call and hung up completely disturbed!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

That's fantastic

[McMadkat]

When I was working in a bookshop last year this old lady came up to my till and presented my with a pile of mouldy old books about the Queen's 25th jubliee.

 

It transcribed that she wanted me to value the books so she would know how much to charge the charity shop for them when she took them in.....

[GuzziHero]

badwitchproject! Patience of a saint

 

Im never rude to customer care centres. The person at the other end isnt to blame if something goes wrong, why take it out on them? It doesnt benefit them personally to listen to abuse...noone should expect them to.

 

I really hate when I get cold calls from people obviously not of British origin saying their name is Nigel. I usually say "No it isnt. And how can you expect me to buy from a company who's representatives lie to me in the first sentence they speak?'.

 

Either that or I ask "Are you selling, marketing or offering a service or product?" If they say 'no' then start off on some speil, I say "Hold on...youve just lied to me" and so on.

 

Im a hard guy to please

[badwitchproject]

badwitchproject!  Patience of a saint

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I was young and trying to prove that I was the right man for the promotion. Oh how I so learnt my lesson.

[otherrandomhero]

You are correct, and they won the case. And rightly so.

 

The coffee was served at hotter temperatures than was legally allowed. At the temperatures that McDonald's was serving their coffees, the liquid was capable of (and indeed did in this poor woman's case) causing third degree burns. The managerial staff at that restaurant knew this but did nothing about it.

 

Ain't no coffee worth third degree burns, mang.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

She still shouldn't have won that. Even if it was too hot, she got what she deserved for ordering mcdonalds coffee. No one buys from mcdonalds. Here's my story:

 

Working at discount tire, a couple came in for their geo metro. The husband must have been at least 350 pounds, and had a smell that could kill a pre-digested vomited-up skunk. It was that bad.

Anyways, their problem was that the left side (drivers side) tires were wearing out unusually fast. We took it for a test drive, found nothing wrong with it, but all along we knew the problem. We couldnt tell them though. No one had the heart to tell the wife (except me, but they wouldnt let me do it) that her husband was such a fatass to the extent that it was wearing out their tires. Funny stuff.

[Lanesracra]

Ahh obesity, the American tradition.